Osozaki Blooms
by Renee-chan
Summary: They took you in when you had nothing. They gave you a life you could be proud of. They gave you the opportunity to make something of yourself. Now that this chance has come, accepting it is the only way you can repay them. Tasuki x Nuriko
1. Chapter 1

_**Initial Notes from 5/21/98:**  
Hey everyone! ^_^ Due to the wonderful response I got to my first FY fic, I finally decided to write a sequel. I had intended it to be much shorter, but it didn't turn out that way. This sequel is going to be a several part work, the way it turned out. Please don't shoot me. (I know that the fans of my SM fanfics will gladly do it for you...) It will contain spoilers for a whole load of stuff - so if you don't like spoilers, then this isn't a fic you should read. _

_You can read this fic without reading "Sacred Trust" first, but it will make more sense to you if you've read my other fic. _

_Part of the idea for this fic came out of a random comment that Nuriko made in Episode 32 and the idea kind of grew out of all proportion to reality. I hope I don't freak you out too much. ^_^ Uh... I think that's it... {shrug} Hope I didn't forget anything... _

_Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me (except for Emi, Kechiko, "Kourin's" adoptive parents, and Osozaki) - they are all property of Watase Yuu. _

**March 24, 2009:** Wow... It's been quite some time since those early days, hasn't it? In 2 months, it will be 11 years since I first posted _Osozaki Blooms_ to the web and 12 years since I posted my first fanfic (the prologue to _Generals' Hour_). So very much has changed since then, both in my life and in the world. I was a young, fresh-faced, eager and innocent college student then, taking my first steps out into the world but still very much attached to the apron strings. Now, I am a veterinarian with several years experience under my belt. I've saved lives and I've ended them. I've fought that battle more times than I can count. It's amazing how much that changes you... and how little it changes you at all. One thing I can say is that I look at life differently now, and subsequently, I look at my writing differently. I still love angst (Lordy, do I still love angst ^_^), but I no longer feel it necessary for my characters to "burst into inconsolable sobs" every other paragraph. *gags* Life is tragic enough, I don't need that kind of thing in my writing, too.

So, what's the point you ask? Well, I've decided that with this more mature outlook and the more refined style that my writing now has, I'd like to salvage this fanfic. I loved it once, to a great extent I love it still... and I'd like to _finish_ something in my life. For whatever reason, my mind has hooked on needing closure on this fanfic. Goodness only knows why. Posts will, by necessity, happen slower as I intend to take a great deal of time and care with this rewrite. After all... I don't want to do it a second time. ^_~ So, I hope you like it!

**Osozaki Blooms -- Chapter 1  
_by Renée-chan_**

The young woman shifted in her saddle and contemplated the road ahead of her. It forked in three directions: left, right, and straight. She looked down at the map in her hands and frowned, not having remembered seeing this road configuration anywhere on said document. The fiery bay mare beneath her stamped her right forehoof and snorted. The woman immediately laid a hand on her neck and patted her, "Easy there, girl. It's OK." She hopped down from the lady-saddle and looped the horse's reins over her neck, holding them loosely in her hand. She walked closer to the crossroads, staring at the choices and frowning.

The last time she had come this way she had been 10 years old and just leaving her family. She'd been... well, more than a little distraught at the time. Even now, seven years later, the memory of what had forced her to leave her otherwise happy home still had the power to bring tears to her eyes, ready and willing to fall. It might have been almost a decade since that tragedy, but her grief was undiminished. She had tried to forget, tried to bury herself in her new life, but deep inside herself, she knew that she never could. Deep in her heart, she knew that she wouldn't want to.

Refusing to let the wetness gathered in the corners of her eyes turn into anything more, the woman mounted and resettled her legs into their proper positions on the side-saddle. She looked once more at the map and then at the waning sunlight. _Well, I need to find somewhere to sleep, and the right fork at least goes in the general direction that I wish to travel. I'll have to try that way and hope that I find a village soon..._ Not entirely thrilled with her decision but seeing no other choice, she urged her tired horse into a canter. The trip had been a long one for both mare and girl and she was more than ready to reach her destination and be done with it. Not for the first time on this journey, she cursed the sense of pride that had forced her to reject her parents' offer of a palanquin and guards. But really, with this to be her last taste of freedom before submitting herself to life at Court, she knew she couldn't have done it any other way.

However, even the girl wouldn't fool herself into believing that it wasn't relief that she felt when she saw lights ahead of her on the road. She urged her horse onward, and the mare, catching her eagerness, put on a burst of speed. Her urgency quickly faded into fear, however, when she saw what those lights revealed. She jerked her horse to a stop and slid off the saddle, one word escaping her lips in a shocked whisper, "Bandits!" She pulled her horse behind some bushes and knelt down, watching them closely, her heartbeat thundering in her ears.

It was no secret that with times as difficult as they had been, the number of bandits preying on travelers had increased. Even sheltered as she had been in her parents' country home, she had known. Every season the merchants brought more and more horror stories of caravans ambushed, goods stolen, guards murdered... and young women carried off to satisfy the craven appetites of those who lived in the shadows. Being young and being stronger than most, she had deceived herself into believing she was above such worries. More fool she.

Pushing the leaves of the bush aside, she vowed to make the best she could of a bad situation. If she were lucky, maybe she could slip by unnoticed. She and her mare were not so exhausted that they could not push on a little further this night. All she had to do was wait until the moment was opportune and make her way past the camp. A quick visual survey of the bandit camp showed most of its inhabitants sprawled around a campfire in varying states of drunkenness. Though such a display disgusted her, at least in this instance, it would work to her advantage. All she had to do was sit and wait. Soon they would all be inebriated enough that they wouldn't even notice her passing. She settled in to wait.

As she watched the bandits drink themselves further and further from their good senses, she couldn't help but shudder. Why anyone would want to do such a thing to their body, she could not understand. Even ignoring the vulnerable state into which it put one... the things one could clearly be convinced to do when inebriated were _embarrassing_. Her seven years of living at a noble's court had definitely refined her sensibilities. Being childless, the lord and lady she had taken refuge with had treated her as their own. Her adoptive mother taught her everything she needed to know about how the nobility expected their daughters to act... even if her father nearly ruined that training by indulging her love of horses -- one that was matched only by his own. But that was something they didn't exactly discuss at the dinner table. By the time her tenure there had ended, she had almost forgotten her own lowborn heritage. Safe in the arms of her new family, she was able, perhaps not to _forget_, but at least to breathe, to live... to reclaim some small shred of happiness.

Then this year, that all changed. A royal messenger was visiting all the highborn families to tell them that the young Emperor's advisors were gathering the most beautiful young women of the country to live at Court. They were to be potential brides for the young Emperor, Saihitei. For any noble family, much less one that had fallen on hard times as theirs had, this was a dream come true. It was a possible door into the luxuries of life at Court. So, naturally, when Kourin's adoptive parents had heard the news, they had been overjoyed and had sent for her at once, certain their fortunes were about to change. When the messenger set eyes upon her, they lit up with a calculating joy. He had fawned over her the entire evening, certain that once the Emperor saw her beauty, the question of the next Empress would be answered. There would be a royal procession in the capital -- everyone would want to see the Emperor's new bride.

Kourin had blushed and humbly denied his gushing compliments until that point. At the mention of the words "royal procession" she had felt her face drain of color. Unable and unwilling to explain why she was suddenly so discomfited, she asked to be excused. She could feel her parents' concerned eyes following her as she all but ran from the room. When she reached the haven of her own suite, she collapsed onto the bed, shaking. "Kourin..." She had lost her only sister because of a "royal procession" -- ironically enough, one planned to show off the young prince Saihitei. The thought of being asked to parade before him as a possible bride made her more than a little ill. After all, he had been responsible for her sister's death!

And even were that not the case, she did not wish to go to Court for her _own_ sake. She could not fool herself into thinking that she would enjoy the kind of freedom at Court that she did here. There would be no more mid-afternoon rides through the fields, no more helping her father with his work training the horses and certainly no more displays of her very unfeminine strength. There would be no more mention of her own special heritage. Knowing the unusual circumstances of their adoptive daughter's existence, how could they even ask such a thing of her? How? Miserably she answered her own question, _Because they took you in when you had nothing. They gave you a life you could be proud of. They gave you the opportunity to make something of yourself -- something exactly like this. And now that this chance has come, accepting it is the only way you can repay them._ Caught in the strands of her own web, she curled into a miserable ball and eventually fell into a very troubled sleep.

The next morning, she had awoken feeling numb. Not wanting the presence of even her maid around her, she had dressed quietly and had done her own hair. She walked into the dining room, head bowed with the weight of the future she felt pressing down upon her. She knelt before her parents, "Honored father, Honored mother, I am sorry. I did not mean to cause you shame." She choked off her voice before she could add the words -- _"Don't ask me to go to the capital, please!"_ -- that were desperately trying to escape her throat. Having come to this decision last night, she knew she didn't dare say that aloud, no matter how desperately she might still wish to. Firming her resolve, she instead bowed her head and fell silent.

Her mother was the one who responded and, to her misery, she did of course ask, "Kourin-chan, we only want the best for you. You know that. That has been true since you first came to us, wandering and alone. We have been overjoyed to have you with us these seven years -- your presence has made a family where before there was only emptiness." Tipping Kourin's face up to meet her gaze, her mother's eyes softened, "But though that is no less true today than it was yesterday, it is also true that there is no future for you here, no chance to better yourself or this family. But child, if you were to be Empress..." Her voice trailed off.

Kourin nodded, feeling that strange numbness spread over her. She forced a whisper out of her throat as it was rapidly closing, "If that is my parents' wish, then I can do naught else. I owe you both so much, more than I can ever repay. If this is what you truly desire then, of course, I will obey."

Her father smiled, "I will prepare an escort immediately."

Kourin smiled sadly and shook her head, slowly turning her eyes to meet her father's, "I am not that helpless, Otou-san, not like other girls. At ten I arrived here alone, at seventeen I can certainly leave the same way."

Her father frowned, "But what will the Emperor think -- a woman traveling all the way to the capital, alone? Surely, we have managed to teach you better than that."

Kourin looked up again, slowly pulling down the neckline of her dress to reveal her glowing seishi symbol, "And surely you have not forgotten this? How I saved your life when you were trapped under that rockslide?" She let her dress fall back into place, "I appreciate your concern, but I can handle myself. I am a Suzaku Seishi -- surely once the Emperor knows that, he will forgive this one slip of unladylike behavior. After all, the young Emperor is a seishi as well. He will understand." With that she stood, "If that is all, I will go pack my things. I will take my leave of you this afternoon."

* * *

Feeling exhausted from both the long ride and her forced inaction, Kourin came only slowly out of her reverie as the bandits began settling in for the night. She had begun to get stiff and tired sitting here in the bushes. She clutched the reins of her horse tighter, determined not to let go of the mare. Osozaki had been a gift from her adoptive father and was the only true friend she had. She patted Osozaki's nose, trying to keep her quiet and herself awake. The name had been a pun, she remembered. Her father had always called her his 'hana', his flower. And her mother would jokingly answer that no, she was no hana -- she was an osozaki, a late blooming flower, for she had come to them so late in life. She smiled at the memory of her parents' teasing laughter.

Unfortunately, with her continuing inattentiveness, she didn't hear the bandit coming up behind her, not until it was far too late. She never even saw the blow that knocked her into unconsciousness.

* * *

When Kourin awoke, it was to the unpleasant feeling of having her hands and feet bound behind her. And when the hard surface beneath her left cheek proved to be the ground, she sat up quickly, disgusted. With a sigh, she remembered her words to her father, _~I am not that helpless, Otou-san, not like other girls. At ten I arrived here alone, at seventeen I can certainly leave the same way.~_ But apparently, that was not so. In all the ways that mattered, she had proved herself to be _exactly_ like other girls. Turning her disgust on herself, she again almost wished that she had accepted his offer of an escort. Well, there was no help for it, now. She had chosen to make this journey unaccompanied because she wanted one last taste of freedom before subduing her every uniqueness into the perfect mask of a lady. It looked like fate had conspired to give her that chance.

Unfortunately, before she could gather her seishi power to break the bonds on her wrists, one of the bandits took notice of her increased activity. He strolled over, laughing quietly, "Well, what have we here? Our lovely young lady is awake and unattended. That just will not do. Mind if I come in? Not at all - I'd love to have the company of such a handsome gentleman as yourself. Why thank you!" As he knelt down beside her, his lips spread wide to reveal two rows of gleaming white teeth. Then, as though he could not help himself, he reached out a hand to finger a lock of her hair that had come loose from the braid it had been confined in for traveling, "You have most unusual hair, young lady. A beautiful shade -- I've always been partial to purple..." He lifted the hair to his lips and kissed it, suave as any courtier.

This was not a situation for which Kourin had been prepared. Seven years ago times had not been this tough, the bandits not as numerous, the roads not as dangerous. Seven years ago, she had been ten years old -- a prize, perhaps, but only as a ransoming chip. Now seven years later and, were she to believe what the young travelers said of her, possessed of an unearthly beauty, even she knew that she had a different sort of value. Plagued by memories of stories told by those same travelers, she began to shake, "W-what do you want from me?"

Before he could answer, another voice called out from off to the left. The blue-haired bandit in front of her lifted his head and smiled at the owner of the voice, "Come over here, Genrou! You've gotta see what the other boys brought in last night! For a change, it seems they did something right!"

A fiery-haired boy stepped into view, a long black coat obscuring most of his frame. His smile revealed one delicately pointed fang. Kourin suppressed another shiver as he walked over to join them, "Hey, Kouji. What's all the excitement about?"

The other man's youthful appearance and the gentility threading through his voice gave Kourin a sense of renewed hope. She tried to catch his eyes, pleading in her own chocolate brown gaze. Much to her dismay, however, he ignored her desperate look and instead reached out his hand to tilt her head from side to side, examining her face. This time his smile widened enough to reveal both of his fangs, "She's quite a catch, Kouji -- and if I don't miss my guess, she's court-bred. She'll fetch a ransom big enough to keep us all fed for a month!" His grin took on a lewd slant, "And if I'm wrong, she's at least pretty enough to keep the Leader happy enough that he won't mind!"

Kourin felt her fear shifting slowly to anger as the two shared a laugh at her expense. She might be a lady. She might one day be meant to spend the rest of her life as an ornament in some man's harem. But that day was not today. That place was not here. Here, today, she was Kourin. And though these fools didn't know it, she was also Nuriko. Her eyes began to blaze as the laughter of the bandits roared around her. Ignoring the two, she focused her chi the way her sensei had taught her so very long ago...

* * *

Genrou stared at the girl as she fumed, torn between feeling amusement at her impotent fury and pity for her sad fate. However, before he could decide which emotion would win he felt a gathering of power the likes of which he hadn't felt in a long time. And it was coming from the girl! Her chi began to rise, rolling off her in great waves. Genrou grabbed Kouji and pulled him away as the girl began to glow with a fierce red light, "Shit, Kouji! What the hell were the guys thinking? Are they all fucking crazy? This woman's a damned Suzaku Seishi!!"

As though his words were a cue that she had been awaiting, the woman tore her bonds asunder and surged to her feet. Fury blazed in her eyes. She screamed in anger and flashed her hand towards Kouji, nails outstretched. He yelped, grabbing at the ragged wound her fingernails had left on his cheek. Her voice was cold and deeper than he expected when she spoke, "How **dare** you lay your hands on me, you filthy pig! None of you are even fit to groom my horse! You'll pay for this indignity!"

Genrou cursed under his breath. He grabbed Kouji's sleeve and pulled his friend's ear up to his lips. Whispering harshly, he said, "So help me, Kouji, you'd better follow my instructions to the letter or we're all dead meat." At Kouji's look of comprehension, he continued, "Go get her horse. Make sure that **all** of her belongings are packed just as they were before she was brought in and get her some extra trail supplies. I'll see what I can do to calm her down before she tears the camp apart." Kouji nodded and ran off.

Turning back to the irate woman, he raised his empty hands, "I'm bankin' on the fact that you don't really want to hurt me, lady. I sure hope I'm right." When she made no move to do him harm, Genrou dropped his hands to his sides, "You gave us a bit of a shock just now, I'll give you that. There aren't so many seishi around and we sure don't expect to find 'em as pretty as you." His fanged grin faded as his words brought her hands back up in fists. He started talking again, just any soothing nonsense he could think of, like she was some overwrought mare -- not an unapt comparison at the moment, "I'll be the first to admit that we didn't treat you as we ought just now. Times are tough and we've had to toughen up to match 'em. Kouji doesn't really mean any harm -- he just likes to mess around with people. It's his way of blowin' off steam, of tryin' to forget all the nastier things we've had to do to keep ourselves safe and fed, y'know?" Pausing for a moment to take in the richness of her clothes, he slumped, "But I guess you wouldn't, would ya? And that's the point." He pointed at the jade necklace that hung in its place around her neck, "That bauble alone could have fed us and our families for days, not to mention the money we'd have gotten from your ransom." He stopped talking to gauge her reaction to his words. To his surprise, the angry glow had faded from around her and some pity of her own was starting to show in her eyes. When she made no move to threaten him, he found himself smiling, "My name is Genrou, what's yours?"

The glow faded completely. Her voice returned to what he presumed to be its normal, husky lilt, "Kourin." She allowed her fists to relax and her eyes dropped demurely to the ground, "And Genrou... I am not so callous to your plight as you may think." At his startled look, she continued, "These times are difficult all around. My own family is not so well to do as you imagine. In fact, though my father tried to keep me unaware of it, I am certain that most of our wealth went into outfitting me for this journey."

Genrou's eyes widened, "And he didn't send you with an escort to protect that investment?"

The young woman flushed hotly from her cheeks up to the tips of her ears, "He wished to. And with each passing hour, I see the wisdom in that offer more and more."

Genrou couldn't help but laugh. If he'd thought the girl was beautiful when angry, she was unspeakably adorable when she was flustered. It made her seem softer and now that the threat was past, he couldn't help but be a little attracted. It wasn't just her looks, either -- though she was undeniably a great beauty -- it was her spirit as well. Most women, even if they were one of the Suzaku Shichi-seishi, would not have been willing to make any journey alone, much less be able to deal with a situation such as the one Lady Kourin had found herself in with such aplomb. Which begged the question... "If I may be so bold, where _were_ you headin' when we stopped you?"

Much to his surprise, the girl's eyes took on a sorrowful look and her shoulders drooped, "I go to the Palace, Genrou. It is my parents' wish that I become a Court Princess, a potential bride for the young Emperor."

And with that one explanation it all made sense. Of course she wished to make this journey alone. It would be the last taste of freedom she would ever know. Genrou knew the fate that awaited a woman going to Court for such a purpose -- in many ways she would be worse off there than if she were taken by bandits as a ransom prize. At least the bandits would eventually let her go free. And that such a strong, independent spirit should be locked away like that, never able to show her power, never able to display her wit, never able to be herself... It was criminal. Genrou found himself filling with an irrational anger. But, it wasn't his place to get involved and the girl probably wouldn't thank him if he did. If she wanted to throw her life away like that, so be it!

Kouji's return spared him from trying to put any of that into words. He took the reins of the girl's mare from his friend and checked over her equipment and supplies. All present and accounted for. Turning back to face Lady Kourin, he was unprepared for the understanding and mute joy in her eyes. She placed a hand against his cheek in a soft caress, "Thank you, Genrou. For your caring. For your anger." She leaned close and whispered in his ear, "I won't forget it. I, Nuriko, swear it." With those last words, she swung up into the saddle and nudged her mare into a slow canter, as though she were as sorry to leave as he was to see her go. He couldn't help but feel that a small piece of himself went with her.

* * *

Kouji slowly made his way back to the tent he shared with Genrou. Genrou was busily shoving things into packs and rolling up his bedroll. Kouji put a hand on his arm, "What do you think you're doing?"

Genrou jerked his arm out of his friend's grasp, "Packing. What the hell does it look like?"

Kouji sat down on Genrou's bed and raised an eyebrow, "I can see that much, my friend. But _why_ are you packing?"

Genrou sighed and stopped his furious activity, plopping down onto his bed, "I need to get away from here for a while. I'll come back, Kouji, you know I will. I know the Leader wants me to succeed him, and I want to please him... I just can't be here right now, OK?"

Kouji smiled and patted his shoulder, knowing, even if Genrou didn't, that it was a pair of beautiful brown eyes that were chasing his friend away from their home, but he refrained from saying anything. If Genrou had fallen for the young lady -- and it was the first time that his young friend had fallen for _any_ lady -- it was better for him to get it out of his system on his own terms. He laughed, "I think that's the first speech I've heard you make in a long time that didn't include one curse word!"

In the knock-down, drag-out fight that ensued, Genrou proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that his vocabulary was still up to specs.

* * *

_Two weeks on the road... It's enough to tire anyone out,_ Kourin thought to herself. She rubbed the back of her neck and yawned. The sun had set 30 minutes ago, but she had been able to see the Palace by then and with no other place to stop between the road and the Palace but the capitol of Eiyo... she pressed onwards. She was not ready to take on all that that stop would imply. She was not ready to take the chance of meeting... certain people. And once she was safely at Court, the odds of that happening would drop from slim to none.

Still... as she approached the gates she suddenly felt a surge of heart-stopping fear. Could she really go through with this? Once she set foot inside those gates, her life as she knew it was over. Never again would she be able to roam as she pleased. Never would she be able to call her life her own. No amount of luxury, no amount of comfort could be worth that! Her heart began to beat a rapid, panicked tattoo just beneath where her seishi symbol would normally burn. She didn't have to do this. She really didn't. That deeply buried part of herself -- the part that knew the _true_ reason why she did not wish to return to Eiyo, that knew why she had departed to begin with -- silently shrieked in defiance as it felt the walls begin to close in. She... she couldn't do this. She **couldn't**. Burning with shame, she began to turn Osozaki's head back towards the open road, determined to find that enclave of bandits and convince them that she'd changed her mind and would rather stay with them as a disgraced young woman should. However, just before she could send Osozaki back out into the deepening night, a young man stepped up next to her, holding up a lantern, and took the decision right out of her hands. He put a hand on Osozaki's reins and smiled up at her. Kourin nearly burst into tears.

Completely misinterpreting the reason for her distress, the young man patted her hand as he pulled it free from her horse's reins, "M'lady Kourin, I'm glad to see that you made it here safely. The roads are very dangerous this time of night. Bandits and slave traders prowl this area, looking for pretty young woman like yourself. You are lucky you made it this far with no escort. You will never have to travel under these conditions again. It's a promise."

He helped her to dismount, then took Osozaki's reins from her. He nodded over at his fellow guardsman who raised his lantern and smiled. He bowed to her, "I'll take your horse to the stables and see that your things are brought inside. Toshio will see that you get safely to a room for the night. You need no longer be afraid. From here on in, you will be watched over and cared for."

She nodded dumbly as she watched the guard lead her horse away. She couldn't help the sinking feeling that filled her body, the leaden sickness that filled her stomach. Far from being reassuring, the guards' words had only deepened her dread. Knowing that she had just lost her last chance to escape this trap of her own making, she almost passed out. But such action was unbefitting. If she could face down an entire bandit camp and walk away unscathed, she could handle a palace. She squared her shoulders and straightened her back draping the dignity of her position about her like a mantle. Toshio held a hand out to her, and she placed her arm through his, smiling her thanks, and allowed him to lead her inside. _And so, Fate has its say in the life I will lead. Somehow, I will make the best of this. I will._

* * *

That night, she was put up in a guest room. Being so late, she could not be presented at Court and without that technicality taken care of, she could not be assigned a permanent position. No matter. This night would give her the time she would need to begin to pack away her old dreams... her old desires... her old life. She would have no further need for any of them. Except for one. She unbraided her hair and ran a brush through it -- Kourin's brush. This... this one piece of her life, she could never bear to leave behind. After all, it was the very reason she was here to begin with. Kourin would have enjoyed this, every moment of it from the lushness of the Court to her near escape from the bandits. Her sister had wanted to be a lady and go on adventures. Deep into her melancholy, she turned the brush over in her hands and read the inscription on the back. _~Wo ai ni, imouto. Happy Birthday. -Your niichan, Ryuuen~_

_Ryuuen. Now there's someone I haven't thought of in a long time,_ she pondered as she resumed brushing her hair. She thought about the name: Ryuuen, a boy's name. Appropriate for a boy... not a lady... not a beautiful court princess. She felt her hands start to shake and she dropped the brush. This time, she couldn't stop the tears that shook loose from her eyes. _Imouto... where are you when I need you? I miss you so much... There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish you were here beside me. How different might my life have been if we'd never been separated? Who might I be, now?_

How long she stayed like that, lost in the grief that her exhaustion and fear had brought on, Kourin had no idea. From the morning light streaming through the window, she could tell that it had been too long. She looked up at the mirror and gasped in horror at the damage her bout of weeping had done to her face. She hurried to her private bath and washed herself thoroughly, trying to erase the evidence of her two weeks of hard travel and consequent sleepless night. She toweled herself off and dressed in her finest gown, the one her mother had had made special with the expensive silks that had come in on the last trade caravan. She took up her brush, careful this time to avoid the inscription, and pulled her hair up into an intricate style more fitting for Court than the braid she'd worn to get there. The make-up was her final touch and erased the last vestiges of the previous night and the weeks before. Examining herself closely in the mirror, Kourin allowed herself a small smile for what she saw. The messenger and the bandits had been right about one thing -- she was exquisite. And if she was going to do this, then she would do it right. If she was going to give up her freedom, she would do it for the ultimate prize alone. She would be Empress.

Kourin patted her hair once more and stood up tall and proud. She headed for the throne room to await her introduction. Covertly, she eyed the woman arrayed around her waiting for their own turn to be brought forward. Some were pretty, some well-bred, a precious few _too_ well-bred... Some were ill-favored, some too tall, still others too broad or too awkward. If this were what she had to compare herself to, then she had nothing to fear. A small smile stretched across her features as she heard a servant announce her name. No challenge at all. She stepped forward to kneel before the Emperor. A soft gasp went around the court when all saw her beauty, but as she raised her eyes to meet those of the Emperor she received a nasty shock. Of all at Court, only he seemed unaffected by it. And with a sickening lurch she could see why.

The Emperor was indeed young. No older than she. And he was beautiful -- handsome was too weak a word to describe the Emperor's looks. She had heard stories, of course -- who hadn't? -- but had never believed them. No man could be so unearthly beautiful. But to her dismay, the rumors hardly did him justice. She could feel the heat rise to her face and her heart began to pound in her chest for an entirely different reason. Though she had been set and determined to win him for herself, in her heart she had wanted to hate him -- hate him for causing her sister's death. But now... Looking up into golden eyes that were as lonely as her own, and a face that would make a god weep at its beauty, she could not hold on to that hate. It melted away like ice in the sun.

He met her eyes for a brief second and frowned, then with a wave of his hand, he dismissed her. She stood up in a daze which continued as she was led to her permanent rooms. It was only upon her arrival in them that the numbness faded -- there... there was the hatred, the righteous anger. It filled her to the brim with its red-hazed fire as her hands clenched into fists, _That's it? That's all? He didn't even __**acknowledge**__ me! How dare he! I am not one to be ignored!_ She leapt to her feet, intending to take her anger out to her horse in the form of a long ride. And it was only then that she remembered. She froze, one hand on the doorknob the other clapped across her mouth as the awful realization sank in, _Now that I'm a Princess, I can't leave the Court!_ She sank to her knees, her arms wrapped around her stomach as she fought not to lose the breakfast she had eaten a scant few hours ago. It was her worst fear realized. She had bartered away all that she held dear for a chance to be Empress... a chance that was not to be fulfilled. And now... now she was well and truly trapped. She curled over her knees and, for the second time in twenty four hours, she wept.

* * *

Saihitei frowned as his advisors called forth another woman from the seething crowd. She stepped forwards and knelt at the bottom of the dais. Only a few seconds and he'd already forgotten her name. What had the herald said? Oh yes, Kourin, that was it. He looked her over, wondering if this one would be different from any of the others, though knowing that he was bound to be disappointed. A cold, mocking voice whispered in his mind, _She isn't Suzaku no Miko, __**Hotohori**__. She'll be just like the others, only interested in your crown and the titles and luxuries your favor will confer._ He looked down, determined to catch her eyes quickly and get this over with. But, what he saw when he did was not at all what he expected. Was that anger he saw burning in their depths? It was deeply hidden, veiled by the doll-like mask she wore for the Court, but he thought he saw... just a spark of spirit. Banked, hidden, but there. Intrigued, he leaned closer, trying to get a better look, then frowned in disappointment as the look of anger was slowly replaced by a slightly vapid, admiring stare, exactly the same as all the other women. Disgusted with himself for thinking he'd seen something different, he waved his hand, dismissing her.

He sighed, resting his head on his hand. He could have sworn he saw something else in her gaze, something different, unique. It had only been there for an instant, but he was sure he had seen it. He rubbed his forehead, feeling an ache forming. There was something about this Kourin, something very unusual. For an instant, as their gazes met, he had felt a kinship between them -- and he had felt a loneliness inside her that had rivaled his own. Throughout the rest of morning court, his mind continued to dwell on the indigo-haired girl with the deep brown eyes. He couldn't get her out of his mind. No matter how hard he tried, his thoughts kept returning to her, the way a tongue returns to a sore tooth. He cursed silently and stood up. He was clearly not in the right frame of mind for court this morning. And if he couldn't dismiss his advisors prematurely when he'd had enough of their simpering and fawning... well, what was the use of being Emperor?

He stormed off the dais, ignoring the loud protests of his advisors and guards. He'd had enough of being the Emperor for today. Now... now he just wanted to be Saihitei. And there was only one place on the entire palace grounds where he could do that. He stopped at his rooms only long enough to throw on an outfit appropriate for riding. He then slipped out the back door of his suite and snuck out to the stables. Only upon reaching the promised haven did he begin to calm down. Kechiko, the stable-master, was the only person in on his little charade. He didn't want to cause the man any additional stress than this masquerade of his already did. He dredged up a smile for his old mentor and asked, as calmly as he was able, if he had any horses that needed to be exercised.

Kechiko's smile was somewhat melancholy this morning, "Well, that new princess, Kourin. She came here by horseback and her horse will need to be ridden. After all, she can't ride it herself."

Saihitei frowned, perplexed even further by this new riddle and the fact that he couldn't seem to escape the woman no matter how hard he tried, "But if she rode it here..."

Kechiko laughed, "Oh, I don't mean that she isn't _capable_ of riding it, boy. It's a two week journey from her home to the Palace -- and to hear Toshio and Takeo tell it, she made the whole journey without a single guard. There's even a rumor floating around that she was captured by bandits on the way -- and managed to win her way free with no ransom paid. Though, the real mystery to me is why someone like that would have chosen to come here in the first place."

Saihitei felt his heart sink even lower. Kechiko was right -- anyone who had the spirit and strength to make a two week journey to the capital, on horseback, by _herself_, didn't deserve to be shut away in a court harem like some fragile glass ornament. _She'd be as miserable in that life as I am in mine. And she won't even have the comfort of this escape that I do..._ He nodded to show he understood, and it was with a heavy heart that he went to find Lady Kourin's horse.

She was a pretty little bay mare, only 15 hands high, but well muscled. She whinnied quietly and sniffed him, then backed away in distrust. Being as soothing as he knew how, Saihitei spent some time grooming her before saddling her and mounting. He could feel her uncertainty in every step that she took. She kept turning her head back towards the palace and whinnying softly in that direction. He turned her towards the surrounding woods and his favorite trail, hoping to win her trust with an easy first ride. Unfortunately, she had no interest in being placated. He wasn't her mistress and she knew it -- and she wouldn't let him forget it. Resigning himself to a harder ride than he'd anticipated, Saihitei began the long struggle in trying to prove to the mare that he had a right to be on her back, fearing it was a battle he was bound to lose.

* * *

Finally recovered from the shocks of the morning, Kourin had spent the rest of the day staring out the window of her suite. The open ground below her was a cruel taunt, teasing her with the freedom that was no longer hers. She could almost hear the voice of her little mare, wafting on the breez-- Wait! Standing up, she threw the shutters wide open -- that _had_ been Osozaki that she'd heard! She felt a scream of pure fury well up in her chest as the mare came into view, a young man sitting unsteadily on her back. Then... she got a better look at the young man's face. The clothing was certainly cut right for the man to be a stable-boy, but the quality of the fabric was richer than any peasant boy would ever see, much less wear. And then his face and hair, even unbound as it was -- it was unmistakable. The young man so boldly riding her horse out into the woods was none other than the Emperor, himself. She clenched her fists tightly as she seethed with fury. It was bad enough that the very grounds taunted her with her lack of freedom, but to have the Emperor shove it in her face, as well? The nerve... But even as she seethed, a nasty chuckle escaped her lips. As though sensing her mistress' displeasure, Osozaki tried to throw the young Emperor... and nearly succeeded. She laughed again, _Give him Hell, Hana!_ She watched them until they were out of sight, quietly chuckling her amusement every time Osozaki tried to buck him off.

When they could no longer be seen, Kourin sank down onto the window-seat and wrapped her arms around herself. Whenever she'd been forced to spend a day inside in the past, she could always count on her father or mother to find some way to help her occupy the time. There weren't even any **books** here! Deep in her moping, she only barely heard the quiet knock on her door. Calling for her visitor to enter she was startled when a maid pushed the door open and knelt before her, "My lady, my name is Emi. I am to be your servant. Is there anything you require?"

Now this was promising... As she'd thought last night, her old life was over. She'd lost her chance to escape it at the palace gates. So, she could either sit in her room and cry about it or she could make the best of it. She was nothing if not resourceful, and she could make her own fun. And with the addition of Emi to the picture... A servant was practically invisible, and would thus hear all sorts of things that the nobles would rather keep hidden. She smiled slyly at her new servant, "Do you know any Court gossip...?" At Emi's conspiratory grin, Kourin's smile broadened, "Good, in that case, you can entertain me with stories while you brush my hair."

Emi bowed and retrieved her brush from the vanity. Kourin settled back into the brushstrokes, content to simply enjoy being pampered. It wasn't as nice as a ride in the bright sunlight would have been, but it certainly felt pleasant. And Emi hadn't been kidding when she said she knew gossip! The things some of these courtiers did! Finally, when she felt she had enough information to start formulating a game or two, Kourin patted Emi's hand and gave the woman a genuine smile. Court would be much better with someone to talk to. But, if the woman was to be her servant, Kourin was going to have to lay down some very important ground rules. Emi nodded and paid close attention as Kourin spoke. She appreciated any assistance that Emi wanted to give her except for two things -- she bathed herself and she dressed herself. From the look on her face, Emi clearly didn't understand, but that didn't matter as long as she obeyed.

They both turned as a knock reverberated through the wood of the door. A servant stood on the other side with ten handwritten notes and an invitation to take dinner with the Court. Kourin took the messages and thanked him, letting Emi show him out. She then sat down at her desk and opened the letters. A grim smile spread across her face as she contemplated the avarice before her -- ten marriage proposals, none of which, of course, were from the Emperor. She allowed herself another nasty chuckle as a plan began to form. It wouldn't be as much fun as helping her Father train the new crop of spring colts... but at least it would be a way to wile away the time and more importantly, a way to vent a few of her frustrations. She would lead them all on, playing them off one another. With Emi's inside information on the lot of them, it could turn out to be one interesting game... She smiled a nasty smile and told Emi to go fetch her a fresh dress.

* * *

Kourin sighed as she sipped at her drink and listened with half an ear as another newcomer to court fawned all over her. No matter how much the older courtiers warned them, the new ones were always overtaken by her beauty and convinced that they could win her affections. The boy stopped talking and she smiled, waving at him to continue. He gave her a starry-eyed grin and resumed his babbling. Inwardly, she sighed -- it had been nearly a year since her arrival at court and the game she played with the young lords was beginning to bore her. She needed more than this petty political scheming in her life and well she knew it. But she had no other options! Being forbidden the stables and much of the outside, save for a few select gardens, being forbidden the vast state libraries and the more intellectual company of the scholars, this game was her only refuge.

And to make matters worse, she knew that the Emperor still rode her horse every chance that he got. The only satisfaction she had was in knowing that his every determined effort had failed to win over the little mare. And every time Osozaki managed to throw him somewhere where she could witness it, it gave her a little thrill. But still, it wasn't as good as having her own freedom. And that the Emperor seemed to be deliberately dangling his own freedom in front of her face... it was hard to remember sometimes why she wanted to marry the man.

She got up from the table, leaving the young noble sitting there, staring after her. She put down her glass on one of the sidebars and walked out into the corridor towards her rooms. The Emperor had not said one word to her since she had arrived here and she was starting to get desperate. For though she resented his freedom and she resented his attitude -- and even more she _hated_ him for being the cause of her sister's death -- she also knew that she found him attractive, and her traitorous heart was quickly letting her fall for his many charms. For above and beyond these petty feelings of resentment and attraction, she couldn't help but feel that in his breast beat a kindred heart. Maybe it was that he was a seishi, maybe because he sometimes seemed as lonely in his position as she was in hers, but somehow she felt that he could be someone who would understand her... and her pain. She shook her head in resignation. The reality was that young Saihitei's heart was already taken by the legend of Suzaku no Miko -- yet another reason for Kourin to hope that the priestess of legend never made an appearance. She paused at the railing at the end of the corridor and leaned on it, contemplating the stars.

So lost was she in her thoughts that she didn't hear the footsteps behind her until a pair of hands descended on her shoulders and turned her to face their owner. She opened her mouth to scream, but a hand quickly covered it and a face pressed close to hers, urging her to shush up. When she did, the hands released her. She stepped back, feeling the railing press into her skin. The figure flashed her a grin and she saw a little fang peek out from the corner of his mouth. She gasped as she recognized the bandit who had so touched her the year before, hardly able to believe that fortune had brought him into her life a second time, "Genrou? Is that you?"

He laughed and spread his arms wide, "In the flesh! I've been wandering the world for about a year now and I figured I'd drop in to check on you. Catch the Emperor's heart, yet?"

She slapped him lightly on the arm -- or so she thought -- then winced as he yelped in pain. She apologized immediately, the blush that had so tantalized him when they'd met spreading across her features once again. Genrou smiled as he finally found the sweet, determined young woman he had known last year in the bitter, angry one he had been watching these last few days at Court. She was unhappy here and he knew it. Doubtless, she knew it as well. Ah. Who was he kidding? They'd both known it last year when he'd let her go to begin with. It made him feel guilty all over again that he hadn't ridden to her rescue when he'd first thought of it after she left. He put a finger under her chin and forced her to look up at him, "Do they treat you that badly, here?"

And then the one thing that Genrou had not guessed might happen... did. Kourin's eyes started to tremble, a sure sign that tears were on the horizon. Genrou inwardly cursed -- no matter how much he hated women as a whole, he couldn't stand to see one cry. He pulled her up against his chest and she buried her face into his dark coat, sobbing softly. He had to strain to hear her words through the tears, but was finally able to understand what she was mumbling as she calmed down, "It's not that they treat me badly. They really don't. I have every luxury a woman could ever want... except the one that matters." She looked up at him, sorrow and anger blazing in equal measure in her eyes, "My freedom. And the Emperor has the audacity to ride my horse right where I can't help but see him! I think he does it just to mock me."

Suddenly her eyes widened as though with a great epiphany and Genrou began to sweat -- there were a thousand ways to describe the look in her eyes and they all meant trouble. And Suzaku help him if what she'd come up with was that bad... because he wasn't going to be able to say no. She clutched at his coat meeting his worried gaze with an earnest one of her own, "Genrou! You're a bandit, right? I'll bet you've stolen plenty of things, right? You could steal my horse from the stables! Then I'd know she was safe with you and..." Her voice trailed off as she slumped in his arms, "...And at least _she'd_ have her freedom..."

Just as he'd feared would happen, Genrou found himself agreeing with her as he soothingly rubbed her back, "Of course, I will. Don't worry. She'll be so well cared for she won't ever want to come back." The smile she gave him was pure gratitude and he was dazzled by it. At least that was the excuse he fed himself for his behavior when he had a moment to reflect on it soberly. Lulled by the darkness of the night and Kourin's small hands still wrapped tightly into his coat, he bent his head to hers. With a gentleness born of years taming stolen horses, he kissed her lips, one arm still wrapped around her waist, his hand pressed to the small of her back. She was startled, but she didn't resist... though she didn't press any closer, either. Genrou briefly wondered if this was the first time she'd been kissed, then cursed -- of course it was! She was a well-bred lady brought to Court as a bride for the Emperor. If she was anything less than perfectly pure, that would not have been the case. That thought rammed home to him that she wasn't his -- could _never_ be his. He cursed himself for being so weak and slowly raised his head, letting go of her as he backed away. She blinked a few times then focused on him, eyes wondering. He brushed away her last remaining tears with his thumb and flashed her a crooked grin, then turned to leap back over the rail. But, before he did, he turned back to her, "Do you remember, Kouji?" She blushed, but nodded. He smiled, "Just thought you'd want to know, your handiwork left him an impressive scar. He's proud as hell of it, even though he tells the story of how he got it... a little differently." That last finally did what he'd been aiming for and put the smile back on her face. She laughed lightly as Genrou disappeared over the railing into the night.

* * *

Genrou risked one last look at Kourin as he disappeared into the forest. She had a dreamy look in her eyes, and the fingers of one hand rested lightly on her lips. He smiled at the sight, sure now that this had been her first kiss. He grinned, allowing a fang to show. He couldn't resist where she was concerned -- she just had a way about her... and she had a vicious streak in her that rivaled any bandit's. _I mean, the way she plays around with those courtiers!_ He chuckled as he recalled the servants' eager gossip.

When Genrou found himself at the back entrance to the stables, he pulled himself up short. What the hell was he doing? That woman had him jumping at her every whim! He began to laugh quietly to himself. Oh, she was good, all right! Yet, for some reason, he didn't mind. He began to fiddle with the lock, all the while telling himself that he was only doing it because that little bay mare was a very valuable animal -- even though, just like Kouji's explanation of his scar, he knew that this explanation rang a little false.

He got the lock open and slipped into the stable, quickly identifying the mare's stall. He quietly unlatched the stall and pulled a hackamore over the mare's head, not having time to bother with a saddle or a bridle. He threw the reins over the mare's head and with a well-controlled jump was settled on her bare-back. She snorted and pranced, but Genrou quickly calmed her. He guided her out into the field, then let her open up into a gallop, blowing a kiss back in Kourin's direction as he rode, _I'll come back for you someday, Princess. I promise..._

* * *

The next day, of course, the Emperor found out that Osozaki had been stolen. He was furious. He had been planning to ride the bay mare in the day's procession. Now that she was gone, he'd have to ride in a carry-chair. He _hated_ riding in a palanquin. But there were no other horses who were as beautiful as that little mare, and he needed to appear at his best for this procession. Something special was going to happen today. He could feel it... He growled softly to himself, sure that some god was having way too much fun at his expense. He stormed down the hallway to Lady Kourin's rooms, wanting to tell her the bad news himself, for some reason. That small, bitter voice whispered that he just wanted to see someone else hurt as much as he did. So, it was unfortunate -- or not -- that he was met by her servant. She told him that the Lady was in the bath and could not be disturbed. He thanked the woman and told her to pass the message on to her mistress, then stalked off to get ready for the parade.

Kourin, far from being in a bad mood for a change, got out of the bath and dressed, a silly smile gracing her features as she pressed her hand to her lips again. _Imagine that -- my innocence stolen by a bandit! Who would have thought? 'Kaasan would just die... This certainly wasn't what she had in mind when she sent me here to make our fortunes!_ She giggled and slipped two daisies into her hair, feeling giddy, and for the first time in too long, oddly young. When she stepped into the room and saw Emi, she smiled, placing a flower in her hair, as well.

Seeing this Emi was even more loathe to ruin her mistress' good mood, but it was the Emperor's order, "My lady... the Emperor was here. He wanted you to be informed that your horse was stolen last night."

Much to her maid's surprise, instead of spoiling her good mood, the news seemed to increase it. She whirled around the center of the room, finally coming to rest sitting at her vanity. Emi started to brush her hair as she continued to smile, "I know, dear Emi, I already know. And I'm sure that the Emperor was _very_ upset that he couldn't ride her in the parade today, too!" She continued to giggle as she relaxed into the brushstrokes. It was going to be a wonderful day...

* * *

Unfortunately for her, later that night, Fortune proved her wrong again. The word had spread quickly -- Suzaku no Miko had appeared. Kourin cursed, vehemently. As though her life wasn't difficult enough, as though she hadn't suffered enough... now the one thing that she had given up her freedom for, the one thing left that she truly wanted... might as well be on the moon for all she had a chance of reaching it. And Suzaku no Miko was the barest slip of a girl, far too young and naive to be the wife of an Emperor! As her ire rose, Kourin could feel the blaze of her seishi symbol as it began to glow from that spot on her chest. She encouraged it and actively gathered her chi, as her sensei had taught her 13 years ago, and released it in one explosive punch to the wall of the palace.

When the wall came crashing down in front of her, she blushed, then paled in fear. Fool! What if someone had seen her? With Suzaku no Miko _here_, it was only a matter of time before she had to reveal her secret. But not yet... not yet. The time wasn't right. Her heart thudding in fear, she raced back to the sanctuary of her rooms. It had been stupid to take such a risk, and she knew it. She hurled a few choice curse words at herself, then collapsed onto the bed. Fury spent, she began to formulate a plan. She'd get the Emperor to look her way if she had to kill Suzaku no Miko to do it!

* * * * *

Kourin awoke and peered about at her surroundings. She wasn't in her room at the palace. She stood up, then stared down at herself when she didn't feel a dress swirl around her ankles. She blushed when she saw what she was wearing -- a pair of pants and a tunic that barely covered her hips. She reached a hand up -- her hair was pulled back into a tight bun... a man's hairstyle. She rushed over to the lake that she had seen and peered at her reflection, ready to cry in frustration at the sight. _I look like a boy!_ She fell to the ground, wrapping her arms around herself and shuddering.

A hand rested on her shoulder and she heard a voice -- a sweet, beautiful, _wonderful_ voice. She had tried so hard to emulate that voice... and though she'd once been able to get so close as to be nearly indistinguishable from the original... now the best she could manage was a very husky alto. She felt a few tears begin to leak from the corners of her eyes as the voice spoke again... _~'Niichan, please don't cry.~_

She spun around and buried her face into the stomach of the owner of the voice. Her sobs grew louder as the girl's hands descended to rub in soothing circles around her back, _~It's OK, 'niichan. I forgave you long ago, you shouldn't torture yourself like this.~_

Her sobs slowed, then stopped, but she didn't lift her head from where it was tucked against the girl's body. She pulled the girl closer to her and only then managed to choke out a few words, "Kourin? Imouto-chan?" She winced when she heard how deep her voice sounded. The girl put her small hands under her chin and lifted it so their eyes met. The girl smiled down at her, _~Hai, Ryuuen-chan!~_

She jerked away from the girl as if she'd been hit, "That isn't my name!" She clasped her hands over her mouth when she heard that awful tenor voice escape it yet again. The girl sighed and walked back up to her, placing one gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned to face her again, finally taking note of her imouto's matured appearance -- easily eight years older than when she had... She choked on another sob.

_~You can hurt yourself all you like about this, but I refuse to be a part of it any longer.~_ She stepped closer, laying her cool hands on Ryuuen's hot cheeks, _~Ryuuen, oniichan, I loved you so much... And my death was __**not**__ your fault! It was my __**own**__ damned fault for not looking both ways before I tried to cross the street!~_

Ryuuen's mouth dropped open as she heard her delicate little sister curse, "Kourin..." She winced again at the voice that emerged from her lips.

Kourin pulled her to her feet and held her close, _~Oniichan, you are who you are. Nothing will change that no matter how much you will it to be so. It won't change the fact that I'm dead, and it won't change the fact that you are a seishi. Your duty is to protect Suzaku no Miko -- not to harm her. You know that. Sensei taught you that.~_

Ryuuen let her arms settle around Kourin's waist and she pulled her close, "I know... Deep down inside myself, I know that. But-"

Kourin smiled into her eyes, _~No buts, niichan. You caught yourself in this neat little trap. Suzaku no Miko didn't do it to you. If you hadn't insisted in this charade to be female... to be me...~_

Ryuuen pulled away from her sister and went to stand at the edge of the lake. She sighed softly, "I know, Kourin. Believe me, I know."

The bitterness in her voice made Kourin sigh, then a mischievous smile lit her eyes, _~But you know, niichan, I have to admit that you look better in dresses than I ever did...~_

Ryuuen blushed and turned to face her, "Is that so...?" She raced after her as she turned to run. The race ended in a rough and tumble fight at the edge of the woods, Ryuuen carefully holding back her strength. Kourin eventually won, pinning Ryuuen under her body and laughing, _~You let me win!~_ Ryuuen laughed as she pulled the younger girl down to lay on her chest, then sobered, "I've missed you, Kourin. So much..."

Kourin pushed herself up slightly so she could peer into her face, _~Ryuuen, there's something I need to tell you. It's the reason that they let me see you, even though it's only a dream.~_ She put a finger to her lips when she tried to interrupt, _~Shh... Don't talk, just listen. You have to understand this. The things that you do in the next few weeks will determine how soon you come to join me.~_ At the eager look in her eyes, Kourin shook her head, and a tear fell from the corner of her eye, _**No**__, Ryuuen. I couldn't bear it if you died so young -- you deserve so much more than what you have! And it's not what you think... You see, because __**I**__ died so young, with virtually no sin in my life, the gods gave me another chance at life almost immediately afterwards.~_ Kourin's expressive eyes bore into hers, _~Please, niichan, promise me that you'll try to live... and you'll try to get along with Suzaku no Miko. She's really a very nice girl... You'd like her if you gave yourself a chance to.~_

Ryuuen frowned as she pulled Kourin back down. She was so tired... Finally, she nodded agreement, "All right, Kourin -- you win. I'll give her a chance. At least I'll try..."

Kourin's gasp of relief startled her, but when she turned to ask her what was the matter she was met with a sound kiss on the lips. Her cheeks turned bright red before she understood. The rapport built up between them and buoyed her soul up in a way she hadn't felt since Kourin's death, eight long years ago. She had needed this so badly. Kourin lifted her lips and settled her head on Ryuuen's chest, listening to the beating of her heart. _~You'll see me sooner than you think, Ryuuen... Wo ai ni...~_

Ryuuen managed only a brief response before being sucked back to the world below, "Wo ai ni, imouto-chan!"

* * * * *

Kourin bolted upright in bed, shaking and gasping for air. She had seen her imouto! That hadn't just been a dream, she was sure of it! Kourin's last words to her echoed through her head...

_~You'll be seeing me sooner than you think, Ryuuen...~_

She wondered what her precious imouto had meant by that but was too tired and too distraught to try to figure it out. She fought it as sleep tried to claim her... until she felt a small pair of arms wrap around her waist, and a small body snuggle up to her back. Then that precious voice whispered, once again, into her ear and she lost the battle with sleep... _~Wo ai ni, niichan...~_

* * *

* * *

* * *

A/N: *satisfied smile* That is _much_ better than the original version. ^_^ I hope you enjoyed it! ((BTW, if you _did_ enjoy it and might possibly be willing to beta-read upcoming chapters, I would be profoundly grateful if you'd let me know. ^_^ Thanks!))

Oh, and because I couldn't bring myself to weed out _all_ the uses of a foreign language... a glossary. ^_^

**Imouto/Imouto-chan: **little sister

**Onii-chan/'Nii-chan: **big brother

**Seishi/Shichi-seishi: **Technically "constellations/seven constellations" -- the name for the seven warriors gathered by Suzaku no Miko to call upon the god, Suzaku.

**Suzaku no Miko:** Really, doyou need this one? ^_~ In a word: Miaka. Technically "Priestess of Suzaku"

**Wo ai ni:** "I love you."

I think that's everything... If you come across one I missed, please let me know. ^_^

_Renee-chan_


	2. Chapter 2

**June 16, 2009:** Well, no original notes to chuckle at on this one. ^_^ Oh well. ^_^ You all know the drill (or should, by now). Chapter 2 is done. And I owe a big "Thank You" to my beta-reader, Yanagi-sen! *waves* Without whom, you would all have to suffer my bad grammar and mis-spelling. ^_^

_Anachronistic note:_ For those of you who ride horses, you've surely noted that Galaxy is an anachronism. I know. The Spanish brought horses to Mexico in ~1500. The Nez Perce Indians bred the horses that would eventually become known as Appaloosas somewhere in the 1700-1800s. Therefore, there is no earthly way that an Appoolasa could have been in China 1000-2000 years ago. That being said, the _Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho_ takes place in a world _resembling_ Ancient China... a minor detail that allows me to play upon my literary license with such facts. ^_^ That, and I love Galaxy and don't want to change him at this juncture. For further info on the history of the Appaloosa breed, check out this website: www . appaloosa . com .

And... I think that's all I've got at this juncture. ^_^ Enjoy!

Osozaki Blooms -- Chapter 2  
_ by Renée-chan_

It had been two days since the entirety of the Court focused its attention on one other than herself. Two days since she began to feel the sick dread of certainty that her life was about to change yet again... to head in a direction that she had no desire to take it. Two days since the Emperor abandoned his search for a bride to play servant to a girl from another world. Two days since the slow drudge of blood in her veins had reluctantly begun to quicken. Two days since the arrival of Suzaku no Miko.

Only once before in the history of Konan had a woman so turned the Palace on its ear... and that had been herself. In spite of her misgivings, Kourin was intrigued. Surely this girl couldn't actually fulfill the promise of her own legend. Surely, her appeal could not be founded in reality, only in myth. There was only one way to know for sure. She had to see the girl herself. And so, that was how she found herself sneaking out of the Inner Palace to the courtyard where the Emperor had gathered the country's best warrior-scholars.

Kourin suppressed an unladylike snort as she watched the Emperor and his entourage "test" the assembled men. Had she been asked, she could have told them that this was not the way to go about finding the Suzaku Shichi-seishi. Of course... she had not been asked. Nor, if she were honest with herself, would she likely have enlightened them even if she had been. Such an open exchange of information was no longer her way.

As they approached the platform overlooking the courtyard, her companion began to look very nervous. Emi looked frantically about her, "Kourin-sama, we should go back inside. You don't belong out here. You could get into trouble."

_**You** could get into trouble, hmm?_ Of course, Emi, being a mere servant, was allowed to go where she would in the Palace. It was a fact that Kourin had made use of many times, but even as close as they had become in the last year, Kourin had never once asked Emi to use that liberty as she had today... to bring the Court Princess along with her. But today... she had to be here today. She had to see Suzaku no Miko with her own eyes. She had to judge for herself if the girl was worthy. For if she was... in that fragile hope; lay the seeds to free her from this self-imposed prison. That was not a chance that she was willing to miss.

And so, she smiled an indulgent smile at her maid and shook her head, not even bothering to dignify that worry with an answer. If she played her cards right, it wouldn't matter at all. She turned her attention to the Emperor's dais, caught as usual by his careless beauty. And there, beside the Emperor, a young woman -- no, a **girl**. A girl in tight fitting clothing. A girl with _bare legs_, no less. Though a small part of her admired the girl for her bravery, she could hardly believe that any female of good upbringing would display herself in such a way. And that such a brazen child, of clearly lowborn birth, could be so close to the Emperor when he would not even _glance_ her way? It was unthinkable. There was always a chance she'd been mistaken... She tipped her head back towards Emi, "_That_ is Suzaku no Miko?"

Emi laughed, "Hard to believe, is it not? But yes, that shameless little girl is the priestess of legend. Dressed as she is, how could she be anyone else? No woman of our world would wear such an outfit, especially not in public."

Kourin frowned, "That is indeed true. Even I, brave as I am, would not dare dress in such a fashion. Yet, not only is she not discomfited, she seems rather completely at ease. That would indicate that that mode of dress is common for young women where she is from. What a strange place that must be..." In her own mind, she ended that thought with, _...and how free._ Shaking her head clear of such thoughts, she indicated the other peasant on the dais, "And who is that man with her?"

Emi smiled, "That is Tamahome, one of the Shichi-seishi. Suzaku no Miko's protector, and..."

Turning away from her contemplation of the courtyard to eye her maid, Kourin smiled. That particular tone usually meant some juicy gossip, "Yes, Emi? And...?"

She was not disappointed. With a sparkle in her eye, Emi continued, "And if you believe the rumors, Suzaku no Miko is rather smitten with the young man."

Kourin smiled, delighted with the irony, "So, though the Emperor has pined for Suzaku no Miko since childhood, when she finally arrives, she gives her heart to a peasant? Oh Emi, surely you jest!" When Emi solemnly shook her head, Kourin threw hers back and laughed, "That is a grand revenge, indeed, Emi. And perhaps, I can use it to my advantage."

Though willing enough when Kourin's schemes tore apart most of the court, Emi was still hesitant to engage in any of her mistress' games when they involved the Emperor. Her voice filled with trepidation, "How so, Kourin-sama?"

With a flourish, Kourin explained, "So long as Suzaku no Miko is available, the Emperor will see no other woman but she. So, all I need to do is make the girl... unavailable." Her smile took on a sinister cast.

"With all due respect, my Lady... you begin to frighten me with this talk," was Emi's taut reply.

"No need to be alarmed, Emi. It isn't what you think. I mean no actual harm to the girl. In fact," a less than friendly smile crossed Kourin's face, "You might even say that I'm going to help her get exactly what she wants. You see, Emi, if Suzaku no Miko becomes entangled with the peasant, Tamahome -- especially if she were to humiliate the Emperor in the process -- then she becomes a far less desirable mate, would you not agree?"

Emi finally began to smile again, "I do begin to see, my Lady. And once this occurs, it will leave your own path to the Emperor free of any remaining obstacles."

Kourin smile, "Exactly so, my friend. Exactly so."

Emi opened her mouth, but whatever she had been about to say was overridden by the sound of an immense crash. Kourin turned back to face the courtyard, not immediately comprehending what she saw. The Emperor was on his knees in front of a collapsed gazebo. It became clear enough, however, when she realized that Tamahome and Suzaku no Miko were nowhere to be seen. The obvious conclusion was that the pair were buried underneath the collapsed structure.

Instead of feeling the elation that should have accompanied the girl's dire straits, Kourin felt her stomach begin to churn. Something was desperately wrong here... Maybe it was some long forgotten shred of honor, maybe it was that dream riding her from last night, but whatever the case, the voice in her mind rang as clear as a bell as she made that realization. And it said but one word: ~Nii-chan!!~ Kourin's whole body jerked with the force of that word and she was down the stairs and running across the yard before she realized what she was doing, for one thing was abundantly clear. Her imouto wanted her to help Suzaku no Miko, wanted her to try to get along with her. She couldn't do that if the girl was dead...

As she reached ground level, Kourin forced herself to slow her headlong panic. She couldn't just go flying into the middle of that ring of men. The court guards would stop her before she got within 10 feet of the gazebo and, more importantly, the Emperor digging through the rubble in a panic. She needed a plan. Taking a quick survey of the useless and frantic energy that the Emperor was throwing into his digging, it finally came to her. That very panic might just be what she needed. If she could offer assistance at this moment, the Emperor would not question it; he would simply accept it, no matter what his guards said. And if she could make the visual of that assistance impressive enough, it might win her that bid for freedom that she was seeking... and a chance to get closer to the Emperor. Approaching the Emperor slowly, she insinuated the cultured calm of her voice into his frenzy, "Perhaps, heika-sama... I may be of some assistance."

Startled out of his fruitless digging, the Emperor turned a confused gaze her way. For a moment, he did not know her. That was clear. She forced down the surge of disappointment that automatically invoked. Just because her every waking moment was filled with thoughts of him, did not mean the same was true in reverse. Bold in the moment, knowing she had something he needed, Kourin let a flash of that anger show... and it was in that moment that she saw recognition in his eyes. He frowned, "Lady Kourin, I won't even ask by what audacity you came to be here. Instead, I will ask what impudence prompts you to imply that you can be of actual use in this crisis. Speak quickly -- I have no time for playing games."

As the guards closed rank around them, Kourin didn't even waste her breath on an answer. She just smiled and for the second time in seven years, actively sought to use her seishi powers. She reached down with one hand and lifted a piece of the ceiling off the unfortunate pair trapped underneath, then a second and a third. That each piece she lifted was larger than she was herself was not lost on any of those watching. It was with a surge of satisfaction that she noted the slack-jawed awe on the faces of the Emperor and his court. More than that, however, was the fact that for the first time in seven years, she almost felt at peace. _This must have been what Sensei meant. That when it was time, I would understand what my powers were for. This feels... right._

Kourin lifted one last beam of wood and Suzaku no Miko and Tamahome were revealed lying still but unharmed in the remaining wreckage. As her eyes met those of Suzaku no Miko, Kourin felt a flash of kinship, a fleeting feeling of welcome. Frustrated with the weakness of her own resolve, however, she pushed it aside. Forcing a note of derision into her voice that she suddenly did not feel, Kourin commented, "You're alive, I see. That's some luck, Suzaku no Miko," then she turned her back and walked away. She would not have to set the next part of this scheme in motion. Judging by the shock on the Emperor's face, he would do it for her.

And, of course... she was right. Once he had ascertained that his precious miko was, in fact, intact, he came right to her. For the first time since she had arrived at Court, he looked at her and actually saw _her_. The awe resting so uneasily on his face could not be feigned. Once he was within speaking distance he asked, "Your name... it is Kourin, correct? One of the Court Princesses?"

Kourin nodded, not willing to give him any assistance in this matter. Let him sludge through this trap-course of a conversation on his own, "It is."

As their gazes met for the second time that day, the Emperor's filled with approval. The smile of gratitude he gave her even looked genuine. He continued, "That strength you displayed earlier... Lady Kourin, are you...?"

Kourin gave him a small, humble smile and pulled down just enough of her dress to reveal the glowing red seishi character, "One of the Suzaku Shichi-seishi? Yes, Your Highness, I am. My name, as you know, is Kourin, but I am also the Suzaku seishi, Nuriko." She let the sentence hang for a moment, knowing that she need not give him anything else. The Emperor was many things, but stupid was not one of them. He could put the facts together correctly on his own. Watching him do just that... and seeing the horror and pity fill his eyes as he did, Kourin again felt her resolve waver. Perhaps... perhaps scheming was not the way to go about this. Perhaps she could just honestly talk to these people and become part of them... belong with them. Perhaps her seishi heritage had been the key to her happiness, all along...

Then, just as she had almost decided to deal truly with her fellow seishi and their miko, said miko latched onto the Emperor's arm and began to gush her thanks and praises at "Nuriko" for saving her. But, even as Miaka's focus was 100% on the "new" seishi, the Emperor's focus was 100% on Miaka. And that the girl would _lay hands_ on the Emperor! And he _allowed_ it! In that moment, Kourin felt her sympathy and sense of kinship flow away like water. She gave the girl a smile that any of Saihitei's young courtiers would have recognized.

Kourin walked in Miaka's direction, holding her gaze until she came abreast of the girl, "I came to help..." and glided right past her to her seishi, "...this man." She bent and took Tamahome's face in her hands, kissing him soundly, thinking all the while, _First kiss to a bandit, second to a peasant... Oh, imouto, if only you could see me, now._ But, she grinned against his lips when she felt Suzaku no Miko fuming behind her. _Oh, Miaka... you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into. I play for keeps and I fight dirty. If you aren't ready to do the same, you may as well give up, now._

* * *

Several days later, however, Kourin had to admit that her plan was not working. The original idea had been to make the miko jealous enough of her and Tamahome's affection to stand up and openly declare her own intentions. Being as she was brazen enough to bare her legs in public, Kourin had thought it a safe assumption that she would do the same with her feelings. That, however, did not seem to be working as hoped. The miko followed her everywhere, spying on her and Tamahome's activities, but she didn't once offer up any sort of objection. And Tamahome, though he had been willing to protect the miko from being buried alive under a collapsed building, was showing no desire to break away from her to make any similar declarations. It was maddening.

Finally, unable to deal with the Tamahome's repeated attempts to sneak off into the city and further disrupt her plans, she tied him up and sat on him. At least that would keep him in one place... She jerked her head up when the door to her chamber opened unannounced. Of course it would be their erstwhile miko. She was staring at Tamahome where he was bound on the floor, an angry flush suffusing her face. The sight seemed to be preventing her from speaking, so Kourin prompted, "Yes?" in as bored a tone as she could manage.

Miaka ground out, sounding as though the words cost her something dear, "I wish to be your servant."

Kourin turned to examine her nails, hiding her elation at the minor victory, "That will be fine." Whatever had prompted the miko to make such a ridiculous offer, she had no idea. Perhaps she just wanted to be where she could openly keep an eye on Kourin's actions with her seishi. So, she couldn't resist one last jab and grabbed Tamahome up in her arms, snuggling him, "Just make sure you don't interrupt me and Tama-chan when we're alone."

Miaka, though clearly fighting down a biting response at that caveat, answered agreeably enough, "Yes, Princess."

For a moment, as Miaka left, Kourin felt a burst of anger and pain that was certainly none of hers. She dropped the younger Seishi in shock and stood up placing a hand on her forehead. Could she be sensing what Miaka felt? But that wasn't her gift... that had been Kouri-- She cut off that line of thinking before it went any further.

Chilled by the thought that her imouto surely would not have approved of her actions, Kourin was quite abruptly not in the right frame of mind for this charade. She turned back to Tamahome, quietly releasing the ties that bound him. Tamahome frowned at her as he rubbed his slightly chafed wrists, "What makes you think I won't run off?"

"I never said that I thought you wouldn't," Kourin sighed and wrapped her arms around her as she finished, "In fact, I dare say that I wish you would."

The peasant's frown deepened, "My lady Kourin, has anyone ever told you that you not only speak in riddles but you act in them, too? What the hell has this all been about, then?"

She could only shake her head, "It doesn't matter anymore, Tamahome. Why don't you just go to your miko?" She tilted her head at the young man and offered him a serene smile, "She cares about you deeply, you know. I think she loves you... or at least thinks she does."

Tamahome stared blankly at her, "You have **got** to be joking." And then his final words froze her to the core, "Why would I care about that? I'm just her bodyguard. Besides, I don't have time for a woman."

Kourin could only stare. This... **this** was what she was trying to encourage Suzaku no miko to pursue?? Oh no. No no no. That would **never** do. Well, there was only one thing for it. Clearly she would have to keep the man from revealing what he'd just said until she'd had a chance to find someone else to foist the girl off on. Because this situation could all too readily spiral its way out of control. Not to mention... no young woman in the flower of her first love should have to suffer through that attitude! As she rounded on Tamahome and quickly tied him back up, she tried not to examine her motives too closely, because inexplicably... she was sure that they had changed.

* * *

Within a few days, Kourin had to admit that her plan was not only not working, it was failing abysmally. Tamahome had, obviously, not confessed love to Miaka. Miaka had equally obviously not confessed love to the peasant -- though in light of his confession of earlier, Kourin was not convinced that that was a wholly bad thing. What was even more frustrating, however, were the lengths the girl was going to, to try to win her own affections. It was at once endearing and irritating beyond belief. Not to mention the surge of guilt that she felt every time she heaped yet another unreasonable demand upon the girl just to have it met and fulfilled as quickly as possible. Really... she could almost find herself liking the younger girl if it weren't for all the history between them. Well, clearly it was time to change tactics. Subtle wasn't working, so it was time to hit someone over the head with a clue x four. Miaka loved Tamahome and Tamahome, though he didn't yet recognize it, did care for the miko as well. The best way to show someone how much they love another... is to take that other away. Kourin knew that lesson by rote. So perhaps a taste of that fear would be enough to prompt Tamahome into a shift in attitude.

Miaka would be along any minute now to see if she had any last requests before bedtime. That would be a perfect moment to set this new plan into action. She took one of a pair of iridescent pearl earrings from her dresser and walked outside to her balcony. She folded her hands in her sleeves and waited for Miaka to arrive. When she did, Kourin allowed a sad, faraway look to fill her eyes -- not difficult with all she had to motivate her recently. The miko did not disappoint with her immediate query after Kourin's well-being. Squashing the sudden flare of guilt she felt when she saw the girl's open and honest concern, she pulled one hand out of its sleeve and showed her the earring. She explained that it had been a gift from her mother from when she had left for court and that she had lost the other while walking near the lake. Miaka would have no way to know that none of the Court Princesses were allowed anywhere near that lake...

She swallowed another surge of guilt as she saw Miaka completely taken in by the lines that she was feeding her. "The moonlight reflects off them, making them shine, so they're easier to find at night. But my maid is scared of the dark and won't go out to the lake to find it." Feeling ever more like she was committing the worst kind of betrayal, she let a tear fall from one eye as she delivered the coup de grace, "I don't know what to do."

Miaka smiled tenderly at her and, as Kourin had known she would, immediately volunteered to go find the earring for her. She made a show of protesting, but Miaka insisted. She looked down and met the gaze of Suzaku no Miko -- it was full of love and compassion. There was more care, more true affection in that gaze than Kourin had seen since Genrou's last visit. Already uneasy from her own guilty conscience and more unsure than ever that she was on the right path, that look tipped her over the edge. She couldn't fight this any longer. The girl had won, though she didn't even know it... And so she made this concession, one that she had told herself she would not make... not ever, "Miaka, if you can find my earring then I must show my gratitude, in my own small way. If you find it, then I will agree to protect you as a Suzaku Seishi."

Miaka's eyes lit up with happiness at the offer and Kourin was dazzled, _Imouto used to smile that way..._ Miaka swore that she would find her earring and ran off, yelling "Thank you, thank you!" the whole way. Kourin let herself sink against the rail in exhaustion. What was she doing? What had made her say that? She growled in frustration and clenched her fists. It didn't help any that Miaka couldn't possibly find her earring, thus letting her off the hook. The earring was still sitting on her dresser, after all. But still, the fact that she had even made the offer -- and **meant** it, no less! -- bothered her immensely. She walked back inside and had Emi pour her a glass of wine to calm her nerves, and desperately tried to ignore the voice in the back of her mind screaming obscenities at her for her false vow.

* * *

Hotohori stood looking out at the lake. He was surrounded by advisors, as he always was. Lately however, they'd been worse than usual. They were not even giving him a moment's peace from their eternal pestering. And their subject of choice? As usual, his unwed and -- more importantly -- childless status. It had been a year, and he still had not chosen an empress. It bothered them, so they in turn, bothered him. He sighed heavily as they once again asked him why he had not chosen a bride. He smiled and said, in deadly seriousness, "Because none of them are as attractive as I am." At their nervous laughter he smiled. He could predict with a fair degree of certainty what their response would be to that last sentence. He waited.

"What about the Lady Kourin? She's very attractive. Most of the young men at court fall in love with her at first sight."

And there it is. He sighed heavily as he shook his head. The situation with Lady Kourin was... complicated. When she had first arrived at Court, he had, of course, noted her beauty. Who wouldn't? As he advisors invariably pointed out, she was the only Princess at Court, quite possibly the only woman in all Konan, whose beauty matched his own. But that was only on the outside. On the inside... she had become cold, bitter, vindictive. Her sharp tongue and sharper wit was wielded with deadly precision against any and all who crossed her -- whether the slight was intended or not.

It was a true shame. With her arrival there had been many rumors about her: that she had trained the little bay mare that she had brought with her to Court; that she had ridden through the palace gates unaccompanied not because she had lost her escort, but because she had ridden with none; that she had been captured by bandits on the road to the Palace and had escaped unscathed and with all her possessions plus additional trail rations... the list went on. Any woman about whom those tales were told was one to be reckoned with... one who could be his equal. But, it would never be. Whenever he looked at Kourin, that was not the woman he saw. The one that he saw was cruel and too full of anger to ever love another. And so it was with great relief that he was now able to offer his advisors a perfectly legitimate excuse, "Don't be silly. The Lady Kourin has been released from her responsibilities at Court to take up her position as a Seishi. You know that."

He looked skyward and let a soft smile touch his lips, "That aside, all my life I've had the image of the perfect woman..."

He then gasped in surprise as said perfect woman popped her head up from the ground and giggled, "Hello, Hotohori-san!"

He smiled as he knelt down next to her, "Miaka, what are you doing out here?"

Her smile took on a slightly false cast as she answered, "I'm on a mission for the Lady Kourin."

He felt his anger rising, but kept his voice gentle, "I've heard about her terrible behavior towards you. I will speak with her and order her to behave."

She surprised him by lifting up a finger and shaking it back and forth under his nose, "Orders don't change people's minds, Hotohori-san. Besides, I want to become her friend honestly!" Her eyes took on a sad look, "I think... I think she really needs one." Unhappy with the answer, but unable to see a way to go around his miko, Hotohori nodded his acquiescence. As Miaka ran off towards the lake, he stood and stared pensively after her for quite some time.

* * *

Kourin swirled the wine glass in her hands, then slowly took a sip. It was taking Miaka an **awfully** long time to come back. She should have admitted defeat by now. Suddenly, her heart skipped a beat. With a sinking feeling in her gut, Kourin remembered hearing about vines that grew at the bottom of the lake and how easy it was to get tangled in them if you fell in. She began to shake. She'd meant to send Miaka away and worry Tamahome with her absence, maybe even for her to get a small dunking, but not anything worse than that. And with each passing moment that Miaka was gone, Kourin became more and more frightened. Perhaps she should go look...

She had risen to go do just that when Emi placed herself in her way, "My lady! You can not go out to the Lake. It is forbidden! Just because the Emperor granted you lenience the once does not mean he will be equally forgiving a second time. I beg you not to put yourself at further risk!"

Kourin wrung her hands together as she shifted her weight back and forth, "But Emi... She's been gone too long! She might be in real trouble out there. She's alone in the dark looking for a small earring that doesn't exist! It's a fool's errand! And no one even knows that she's out there but you and I!"

Suddenly the door to her room was thrown open and a low voice growled, "Is that true?"

She gasped at the figure of Tamahome standing in her doorway. He practically radiated protective fury. Well... at least one positive thing had come from this debacle. One of her plans was finally working. Unfortunately, in her impotent fear, she found that she didn't care one bit. Apparently, this plan had worked a little too well -- for she had caught her own self in its web, too. She hung her head as she whispered, "It is."

Tamahome cursed at her, "All she ever wanted was to be friends with you! Don't you understand that?"

The words were like a knife straight into her heart. She _did_ understand it. She _had_ understood it. She just had refused to see it. And now... now it might be too late. She grabbed Tamahome's hand and pinned his gaze with her own, "I did not deal with either of you honestly. For that, if you feel you need it, you have my apology. But that doesn't matter right now. _You_ are free to move about the Court as you will. So go! Go to your Miko! She needs you!" With that last cry, she released him. He took off at a dead run... only to run straight into the person who had prompted all this frenzy.

Miaka looked adorably puzzled by the whole thing. She walked past Tamahome, dripping water all over Kourin's floor as she walked up to eye her bemusedly, "I didn't find your earring, Kourin-sama... but I found this rock." She held up a stone, polished to a smooth shine by the waters of the lake, glowing nearly indigo in the moonlight. The glow was, however, eclipsed by the one in the miko's eyes, "It's so beautiful, it reminded me of you. Would you like to have it?"

Kourin's jaw dropped open, then snapped closed and began to tremble. She heard Tamahome in the background scolding Miaka for trying to be nice when Kourin had been deceiving her all along. Kourin clutched the stone in her hand and fought off the threatening tears to speak, her voice rough with the suppressed emotion, "He's right, you know. I have been deceiving you. All this time, I've lied to you, I've treated you cruelly, I've deliberately tried to break down your spirit. How can you possibly still want to be my friend?"

Miaka frowned at the honest confusion in Kourin's voice, "Because... because I think you need one. Because I sense that there's something in you worth knowing, worth salvaging. Because I think you're a good person who's been through some bad experiences. Because I think everyone deserves a second chance." Her eyes rose to meet Kourin's, "Because I want to. Isn't that enough?"

And that was when the tears broke free from the bonds under which Kourin had placed them. Through her sobs, she only managed to choke out these words, "I don't deserve you."

Miaka just smiled and enfolded her in a gentle hug. And it felt as though she had finally, at long last, come home.

* * *

Last night, Hotohori had discovered -- too late to do anything about it -- that his miko was in danger. She was in danger _in his own Palace_, and he had not even known about it until after the fact. He had seen her walking to meet that danger and had not even thought to stop it. And so, he had tried to rectify that mistake, announcing that he intended to make her his Empress. He had then asked her to spend the night in his chambers, so that he could best ensure her continued safety. She had refused. Politely, to be sure, but she had refused all the same.

In light of their earlier discussion, the Emperor knew that he could not make that request an order, but he had been sorely tempted. No one ever refused him! And that the woman he loved had been the first... He was angry. He knew it was unreasonable, but he couldn't help it. He had been ready to override his own sense of honor and force her to stay when Kourin and Tamahome had intervened. The look of relief that Miaka threw their way as she scurried out of the room was painful to see. That he had been the one to inspire its need, was unthinkable. He could not continue on like this.

Apparently, Kourin had felt the same way. For the look she had given him... The pain he felt at the relief on Miaka's face was nothing compared to the... the... _Oh, call it what it is!_ ...the **fear** he'd felt when he'd seen the anger on Lady Kourin's. He never thought that he would admit to such a thing -- fear of a woman. But the look in that Lady's eyes... He could now understand how there could be truth to the rumors that had spread about the woman on her first arrival. The fire in those eyes could have cowed a bandit. The fierce independence could have brought her to the palace alone. The boundless love and devotion beginning to shine there could have easily tamed an untamable horse. And the disappointment and betrayal... he could not hold that gaze for longer than a moment. So, taking the cowardly road, he had dismissed the other two seishi and spent the rest of the night trying to regain his shaken composure.

It had taken him most of the night, but he knew now what he had to do. So, here he was, outside the door to Lady Kourin's suite, ready to attempt to make peace. He had to, for all their sakes. For that Lady, when roused to anger, left destruction in her wake. He had seen it happen all to frequently -- it had almost happened again last night. He had to stop it from happening again, even if it meant making concessions that he might not otherwise have wanted to. Thus why he was here in person, as a fellow seishi, instead of demanding her presence in the audience chamber as the Emperor. But all of this knowledge was not helping him to knock on the door.

Fortunately, the Fates seemed to take pity on him and the door opened under his hand before he had a chance to convince himself to take this last step. Kourin's maid stood just inside the door and offered him a polite expression of curiosity, "Heika-sama?"

He cleared his throat and lifted his head, "I am here to see the Lady Kourin."

Emi frowned, "I am sorry, heika-sama... she is not here."

Well... that was an unexpected and unwelcome development. He sighed. He had not planned to spend the morning on hunting down a wayward Court Princess... "Do you have any notion where she might have gone?"

The girl blushed at the question and ducked her head, "Forgive me, heika-sama..."

Finally, Hotohori could stand it no longer. Was he truly so accursed poor at handling women? This one was terrified of him, the one he loved couldn't stand to be in his company alone and the one who reportedly loved him also hated him in equal measure. It was no wonder he had yet to chose a bride... He said, in as calm a tone as he could manage, "I am not angry with you. I am not angry with your mistress. I merely wish to speak with her on a matter of some importance. Any assistance you could offer would be appreciated."

There... she relaxed. Dropping a small curtsy she finally answered, "You see, Your Highness, when you said that she was relieved of her duties as a Court Princess, she interpreted that to meant that she now had freedom to move about the grounds..." Her voice lilted upwards as though asking for conformation. He gave it with a small, impatient nod and she continued, "The last I saw of her, she was heading towards the lake..."

Thanking the maid and hoping that the Lady wasn't about to get herself into similar trouble to his miko, Hotohori headed after her.

* * *

Kourin inhaled a deep breath as she stepped out into the field -- freedom! It was like a drug, like an oasis in the desert where she had lain too long without water. It was intoxicating and she couldn't get enough of it. At first, she had been all in a tizzy over what to do, but then realized... there was only one place that she truly wished to go.

She headed out across the field towards a structure on the other side. When she reached it, the sounds and smells of a hundred horses assaulted her senses. If she had thought that the sense of freedom itself was wonderful... how much more was this? She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply of the scent, completely subsumed in the pleasure of the moment.

She came back to herself rather abruptly, however, as a man walked up and laid a gentle hand on her arm, "My lady, you will have to forgive me, but I think perhaps you don't belong here...?"

She turned to look at the man, taking in the broad shouldered strength, the sleek black hair only beginning to grey at the temples, the ruddy tan complexion from hours spend in the sun, the warm, dark eyes... it didn't take a genius to recognize the Emperor's master of horse. She offered him a small bow, "Keiichi-san, my apologies for arriving without forewarning. But it has been given to me to understand that I now have freedom of the grounds and I realized that there could be only one place to which I could take that freedom on such a glorious day." She offered him a somewhat cheeky smile, "If I may be so presumptuous, that is."

He narrowed his eyes at her, then began to laugh, "You would be Lady Kourin, then." He held out his hand to take hers and kiss it, "It's a true honor to meet the lady who rode in on a horse that His Majesty couldn't tame."

Kourin blushed as he kissed her hand and tried to wave away the praise, "I have heard that the Emperor has a wonderful seat, but Osozaki was specially trained. She does not accept a new rider readily, or often even at all, without proper introduction."

His face assumed a sad expression, "I was sorry to see that she had been stolen. She was a good mare." When he looked up, he was surprised to see a mischievous smile on Kourin's face, "Then again, perhaps that is for the best...?" At Kourin's hastily muffled giggle, he tucked her hand under his arm and led her inside the stable, more than surprised by this interaction. In fact, it might be fair to say that he was stunned. He had heard terrible things about this young lady over the past year, but now he wondered if her awful behavior was merely the reaction of a free soul being fettered within solid walls. Understanding, without being asked, what had brought her out here, he swept his hand over the rows of horses, indicating that she should choose her mount. She smiled at him and began to walk up and down the main aisle.

Kourin walked up the main aisle of the stable, peering into each stall for a mount that was equal to her own. She found none. Oh, they were all gorgeous horses to be sure, but none of them had any spirit! Parade ponies, every one of them. She sighed, suddenly doubting the wisdom of having Genrou steal her horse. With this newfound sense of freedom, she'd have given anything to be able to share it with her little Hana. Suddenly, she heard a soft whinny from off to the left, and followed the small hallway down to a darker part of the barn -- the main aisle held the nobles horses, obviously. Maybe some of the servants' horses would be better suited to her purpose...

The short walkway brought her out into another aisle much like the first, but the horses here looked a bit scruffier. Her eyes were drawn to the stall in front of her and she gasped slightly. This beauty was magnificent! In looks alone, he'd have qualified for a spot on the main aisle, but something in his eyes... At first glance, she figured him for a stallion and bent to check -- she was right, this dark beauty was still whole. She walked up and softly blew across his nostrils. He snorted back at her, then uneasily accepted her soft caresses on his muzzle and cheeks. He was a dark chocolate brown color, but had a white blanket spread across his hindquarters, delicately dotted with lighter brown spots. She saw the stripes on his hooves and the spots on his muzzle and smiled, an Appaloosa Stallion. They were known for their vanity, strength, and free, fun-loving nature. And they were extremely rare in this part of the world.

As she had been acquainting herself with the stallion, she didn't notice the footsteps behind her. Keiichi spoke softly so as not to startle either the girl or the horse, "I see you've met Galaxy..."

Kourin kept caressing the stallion's muzzle, but she smiled, "He's beautiful. I've never met an Appaloosa before, and I'm surprised to find one so well-behaved." Galaxy snorted and tossed his head as if to deny the accusation of being well-behaved. Keiichi patted her shoulder as if she'd passed some test, "They are very rare in these parts. I'm surprised that you recognize one when you see one." When she turned to face him, he laughed, "Galaxy's my horse. I brought him with me from home when I became stable master. In fact, it was the Emperor's admiration of him that got me this post. So far, only myself and Saihitei have been able to ride him -- though I get the feeling that we only stay on because he decides to tolerate us."

That drew a laugh out of Kourin, "With a good horse, when is that not the case?" A sudden shyness seemed to overtake her as she asked the next question, "Do you mind if I...?" Her voice trailed off.

"Ride him?" he finished for her. Her heart sank as he walked away, then picked up when he came back holding a saddle and hackamore. He winked at her, "I prefer not to use a bit on him if I don't have to -- he has a very sensitive mouth. But if that doesn't faze you, then I don't see what the problem would be. With what I know of your own little mare, and what I've heard of your father's touch with horses... a touch I hear tell he imparted to you?" At her small nod, he finished, "With those credentials, you're the only other person in the Palace that I would trust enough to try." He stood and held out the tack for her, a curious smile on his face.

She took the tack and placed it over the railing of the stall, entering to slip a halter over Galaxy's head. Kourin lightly ran her hands over the stallion's body, examining every inch of him. Keiichi leaned over the stall door and handed her a set of brushes. She took them and made quick work of grooming the stallion, who leaned into each brushstroke. She laughed, a deep, rich velvety sound, and lightly pushed at his flank, spluttering, "Spoiled brat!" The stallion reached around and snorted in Kourin's hair to tell her what he thought of that. She smiled and patted his muzzle in reassurance.

Keiichi watched the two with a thoughtful expression on his face. Galaxy behaved this well in the stall for him, but he had known Keiichi all his life. He handed the tack over to Kourin and pondered some more. The only thing that remained to be seen was how she handled herself in the saddle. More and more, he was convinced that Kourin couldn't be as bad as they said, not if she loved horses as much as she appeared to. This carefree, happy girl before him was not the stuff of nightmares that the young lords made her out to be. He'd have to share his revelations with the Emperor. Finally finished tacking up, Kourin led Galaxy from his stall and out of the stable.

Keiichi suddenly had cause to wonder if Kourin had ever ridden astride before and kicked himself for not asking sooner. If might be possible to ride Galaxy in a lady-saddle, but he'd never had reason to find out. Kourin answered his unspoken question with a wink, then settled her left foot in the left stirrup and with one little jump, swung her right foot over the saddle. She bent down, quickly adjusting the stirrups to the right length and slipped her feet into them. Once she was settled, she looked down at Keiichi, wondering what she'd see in his eyes. He was smiling.

Galaxy, for his part, had arched his neck proudly, and was standing still as a statue. Kourin's cream-colored riding outfit stood out in sharp contrast against his dark coat. They looked good and he knew it. Keiichi laughed at his antics and gave them a small salute. Kourin returned it, her heart already pounding with excitement, and gave Galaxy a light kick, urging him forwards. He responded eagerly -- _too_ eagerly, and gave a little buck. She smiled and gently reined him in. None of that was going to happen with **her** on his back! He snorted and pranced for a few steps, tossing his head angrily. Finally Kourin leaned closer and whispered soothing words into his quivering ears.

There was a pause, then Galaxy settled down, waiting for her command. She gave him another kick and off they went. She laughed and urged him on faster, until they were flying down the trail, Kourin bent low on his neck. Keiichi watched them go with a smile on his lips. He was **definitely** going to have to share this with Saihitei.

By the time they reached the woods, Kourin's hair had come unbound and was flying out behind her as they ran. She laughed, throwing her head back in sheer delight. They exited the woods like a cork from a bottle, shooting across the field without a care in the world. The courtiers outside were gasping in shock, but Kourin didn't care. She was free! Let them laugh. Their opinions no longer mattered. When she spotted the Emperor standing near the lake, an evil gleam came into her eyes -- it was too perfect. She gently turned Galaxy in a tight arc to head straight for Hotohori, counting on the fact that he would have the sense to duck. He did. Galaxy and Kourin soared over him, landing with a ringing laugh and whinny on the other side, as they took off into the field again.

* * *

The Emperor stood by the lake, quietly throwing pebbles into it. He'd been searching the grounds -- fruitlessly, he might add -- for the last 30 minutes. Perhaps that wasn't a long time, but it was long enough! He was an Emperor. He had responsibilities. He couldn't waste all his time searching his Palace to find a woman. He was ready to abandon the search and head back inside, when the thunder of hoof beats alerted him and he looked up. That was Galaxy, Keiichi's prized stallion! What was he doing out? He looked up at the rider, the cream colored riding habit streaming along in the wind and perfectly matching Galaxy's blanket marking. The unbound indigo hair streamed out behind them like a banner as the rider bent low over Galaxy's neck, an angry gleam in her brown eyes.

For a moment, the Emperor thought that Kourin had lost control over the Stallion. Was Keiichi crazy to put her on that beast? Then he remembered Osozaki. He looked up a second time -- the stallion and lady were almost upon him. He had no choice but to duck. He had to admit that Kourin had judged the timing perfectly. Galaxy soared over him, his hooves just missed grazing Hotohori's crown. They landed several feet beyond him, and if he didn't know better, he'd have sworn they were laughing at him. He slowly picked himself up off the ground and watched as the two galloped away, reveling in their freedom from the world. His face paled slightly, and he sent a swift prayer to Suzaku that he'd be able to control Kourin without the leash of the Court upon her, because from the looks of it -- Kourin was out for blood.

* * *

When Kourin brought Galaxy in, a good three hours later, they were both soaked with sweat, exhausted, and **very** happy. Galaxy nuzzled her possessively as she hooked him up to cross ties and untacked him. She rubbed him down with a warm cloth and warm water, carefully washing the sweat marks from his sleek coat. He whinnied and nuzzled her some more. She caressed his nose, murmuring silly praises and compliments in his ears. He loved every minute of it. She snapped a lead rope to his halter and led him outside to walk him cool, simply enjoying being outside. She'd nearly forgotten how much she loved the outdoors. She smiled, _Imouto-chan and I would **never** be caught inside if we didn't have to be..._ The thought brought pain with it, but somehow, not the overwhelming grief that had always accompanied thoughts of her sister. It frightened her.

As if sensing her change in mood, Galaxy walked right up to her and nuzzled her shoulder, hard. He sent her sprawling into the lush grass, then proceeded to lean over and whuff at her face and hands until she laughed from his ticklish whiskers. She carefully got up and caressed his nose, then ran her hands lightly down his chest and legs. He was nowhere near as hot as he had been. She walked him around a few more times for good measure, then led him back into his stall, making sure everything was put away. She slipped the halter off his head, lightly kissing his nose. He whinnied after her, and she smiled, then headed off to take a bath.

Keiichi watched the whole thing from the other aisle, smiling lightly. He had seen that magnificent jump over the Emperor's head, and it had kept him laughing for a good ten minutes. This girl wasn't one to be trifled with, that was for sure. He went back to feeding the horses, whistling a cheery tune to himself.

* * *

Kourin smiled as she got dressed after her bath. Now that she was relaxed and refreshed, it was time to start examining the new set of problems she had been presented with. As a seishi, she was free to move about as she wished. That gave her much more freedom to accomplish things. And her first task... was Tamahome. She had seen Tamahome's face when Miaka had been "missing" last night -- he loved that girl as much as she loved him. He just didn't realize it, yet. And when they had found Miaka in the Emperor's chambers? Priceless. Even though she'd had to deal with her own anger at the situation, she had to admit that the Emperor couldn't have played the situation into her hands better if he'd been in on it from the start. She hummed to herself as she fastened the buttons on the overdress.

The Emperor had driven a wedge between the two starry-eyed children of the group. Tamahome had been none too happy last night. This gave Kourin the opening she needed to get herself into the boy's head and try to figure out what the problem was. She added one final touch to her hair, then swiftly left her room.

And so it was with a barely planned coincidence that she was on hand to see Tamahome brush past Miaka with barely a polite greeting, and Miaka's heartbroken reaction. Oh... that would _never_ do. She was going to have to move faster than she'd intended. She launched herself past her stunned miko and latched onto Tamahome's arm, yelling, "Tama-chan!" and leaning her head onto his shoulder. Her miko was a blast furnace of betrayal just over her left shoulder and she ignored it as best she could. _I'm so sorry... believe me, Miaka, I'm doing this for your benefit..._

They walked, making polite conversation, towards the city. It had been so long... it was a surprise to her how little had changed. Most of the buildings were in similar states of disrepair eight years ago, the peasants similarly unwashed... It was hard to believe that she had once been one of them. She shuddered. When Tamahome looked questioningly at her, she smiled and glanced behind her looking for a distraction. She almost laughed as she found it. Miaka had followed them. She nodded back towards the other girl, "She actually thinks she's well disguised."

Tamahome told her to leave Miaka alone and she faked a pout. Protectiveness... protectiveness was _good_. Finally, they reached the main square, and Tamahome bounded up a set of steps and tried to auction of some of Miaka's belongings. When he failed to do so, Miaka revealed herself as Suzaku no Miko to validate his claims. This resulted in a near riot, and Kourin lost the younger pair in the milling people. She cursed quietly, then caught sight of them heading off towards another part of the city. She figured out where they were going and took the back way to meet up with them. It was imperative that they not end up wandering about alone -- it was too easy for tourists to get into trouble around here...

When she reached them, it was already too late. They had been surrounded by a group of tough looking young men and the pair had been separated. She put a hand to her mouth -- she recognized some of these people. They had been bad news even when she was younger. She smiled as she remembered bloodying a few of their noses when she had been only seven. She turned her attention back to the leader of the group. Was Tamahome auctioning Miaka off to these people? Her fists clenched as the anger rose up in her like a tide -- how **dare** he?? What kind of sorry excuse for a man was he? She was about to leap out and give those young men a good beating when she saw Miaka's eyes blaze and watched in shocked disbelief as she smashed her fist into the face of the one holding her captive. She hadn't expected a woman -- well, a woman other than herself, but she was admittedly a special case -- to beat up a city tough! It made her heart ache with pride. The ogre sign finally blazed into life on Tamahome's forehead and he joined in with their miko on finishing off the rest of the gang.

She silently cheered as he sent them running. She looked up suddenly when a rumble of thunder caught her ear. A big raindrop landed right on her nose and she hunched up miserably. Fancy court dresses weren't made for this weather. She watched the argument between Suzaku no Miko and her Seishi with growing trepidation. A little sneeze escaped her, and she covered it quickly. She need not have bothered -- neither of the other two heard a thing. She was beginning to think she should step in, however, when Miaka finally screamed out, "Because I **love** you!"

Kourin held her breath, praying for Tamahome to answer in kind... and knowing that he would not. It was too soon. He wasn't ready. _Damn it! I **knew** I shouldn't have left them alone!_ He opened his mouth and let out the damning words, "I'm sorry. I don't feel the same way." Kourin watched in horror as Miaka's heart shattered. She could clearly see it happen through the girl's expressive eyes. Again, she could feel what Miaka felt -- pain, horror, utter shame. A tear slipped down her cheek, and she wondered at it, startled that she could feel so deeply for someone who she had hated naught but a week before.

A small thump and a startled yell brought her quickly back to the scene. Miaka had collapsed on the muddy ground -- she was out cold. Tamahome gathered her up and ran back towards the palace, Kourin hot on his heels.

* * *

Several hours later found them clustered at Miaka's bedside. The girl looked so... so _fragile_, lying unconscious in the bed like that. It was so easy to overlook how small, how delicate, she was when she was awake. Her personality made her seem larger than life, somehow. It was frightening to see her like this. Kourin found her heart swelling with sympathy for the girl. She glared at Tamahome as he passed off the responsibility for the whole mess on the street toughs they'd been fighting. He owned some of the responsibility for this, too, and she'd be damned if she let him snake out of it.

With the only hope for Miaka being to send her home to recover, plans were made to travel to Mt. Taikyouku -- a place she knew well from her schooling. She debated back and forth with herself about the merits of revealing that knowledge, but in the end, it wasn't necessary. The Emperor found all of the information that was needed in the pages of the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho. As the Emperor dismissed everyone to go prepare for the journey, he called out to Kourin to stay her leaving. She turned to meet his honest eyes and couldn't restrain the blush that overtook her as she met them. She'd almost forgotten about that incident with Galaxy. From the look in his eyes, he had not. He tapped his fingers against the desk, then gave her a slight smile, "I hope that you and Galaxy had fun this morning."

Kourin raised her head defiantly, in spite of her blush, "Yes, heika-sama, we did. He is a magnificent animal."

He smiled at her discomfiture, "We are all seishi, Nuriko. Please call me Hotohori-sama."

She nodded, feeling as though she'd been kicked in the gut. While on the surface, the words were a token of friendship, a gesture of closeness... she was a master of such gestures herself. By calling her "Nuriko", by calling attention to their joint seishi heritage, he had reminded her what else was meant when she had been "relieved of her duties as a Court Princess." It meant that, in his eyes, at least, she was no longer a woman -- no longer eligible to be Empress. He was willing to grow closer to her... as long as she was willing to accept that price. It was like a shot right through the heart.

When next he spoke, there was a note of awe in Hotohori's voice, but no compassion... no hint of his awareness of her in any way other than as a fellow seishi with skills he could use. He said, "I have never seen such a wonderful display of horsemanship. I didn't think anyone other than Keiichi could control Galaxy like that. How did you learn to ride that well?"

She looked back up at him, refusing to let him see how badly he'd hurt her with his words, "My otou-san raised horses. He had no sons, no natural-born children, so when I expressed an interest in his real babies, he decided to show me. With my seishi power, the strength needed to tame and train a horse was not a problem. I actually had quite a knack for it." Finally finding a reason to smile, she met his eyes dead on, her own twinkling, "I trained Osozaki, as a matter of fact."

He laughed, "Is that so?" At her nod, his eyes took on a sympathetic look, "I wish you had told me sooner. I would have arranged for you to leave the court to ride her."

Seeing such open compassion in his eyes was the last straw. She felt herself growing cold and did nothing to stop the note of derision that crept into her voice, "No, heika-sama. You would not have. I was only a woman, good for nothing more than to be an ornament to grace a man's harem and breed his children. It doesn't matter what you would have said. It would have been the same. The only way you could have changed it was to declare me Empress." At his slightly sickened look, she pressed on, her own heart threatening to tear asunder as she shredded the man she loved with words that she couldn't stop herself from speaking, "But you've made your position on that abundantly clear, haven't you? I love you with all my being and I would have made you extremely happy... but that isn't what you want. You have me stuffed into a new box now and you don't want to let me out of it long enough to realize that I might be the answer to your prayers." She drew herself up and folded her hands into her sleeves, "Very well, Hotohori-sama. I will be Nuriko for you. Nothing more. Not ever again." Then, stuffing her own anger and pain deep inside herself and pretending that she didn't see the hurt in his shocked eyes, Kourin turned on her heel and strode off down the corridor.

* * *

Kourin ran down the hallway, feeling as if her heart was tearing into a thousand pieces. It was too cruel -- to be told in one breath that she was admired and trusted and then in the next that no matter how loved she was, she was no different from a fellow man in the Emperor's eyes and that there would be no hope of a romance between them. It wasn't fair! Not watching where she was going, she all but crashed into Tamahome.

The boy had the audacity to be staring into Miaka's chamber, eyes depressed and downtrodden. The man had no right. Soul blazing with a fury that had, until now, had no outlet, Kourin grabbed the younger seishi away from his post and threw him up against the outer wall, "How dare you look so upset! It's your fault that she's like this in the first place!"

Tamahome stared at her in abject disbelief, "I... I had nothing to do with it!"

Kourin grabbed him by the front of his tunic and slammed him up against the wall a second time, "That's a lie and you know it! I was **there**, Tamahome. I **saw** you. You may not have planted this illness in her body, but you sure did plant the one in her spirit." She spun him to face the window again, "Look at her, Tamahome! She _loves_ you. Really, truly loves you. And you trampled all over her feelings as though she were the dirt beneath your feet. How could you handle a woman's emotions that indelicately? What kind of a man are you?"

It occurred to Kourin as she continued to rant at the blue-haired seishi that her anger was just a touch misplaced. Certainly she was angry on Miaka's behalf... but the one she should have been ranting at was the Emperor. He deserved more of her anger than Tamahome did. Tamahome was just young and mostly ignorant, but the Emperor... he should have known better.

Finally, she threw Tamahome away from her in disgust and marched in the other direction. So angry was she and so eager to be away from those who were causing her pain she didn't even notice when she ended up off the palace grounds and back on the streets of the capital. The rain was still coming down in heavy sheets and she could barely see where she was going. Eventually, she slowed her mad rush, her heart finally quieted. She took in huge gulps of air to calm herself, then turned her head to take in her surroundings. She immediately wished she hadn't. She sank to the muddy ground, quivering, pale, and shaking. The cold seemed to sink all the way through to her bones as she looked around the intersection.

_No..._ It was a last gasp of horror from a mind that couldn't handle one more strain that day. It was too cruel that instincts could work on a person to that extent. The one place in the capital that she would never forget, the one that she _should_ never forget... the place that had torn her heart asunder the first time. She stared about, sure that she could still see her imouto's blood staining the street. She crawled on her hands and knees to the spot where she had last seen her imouto alive and collapsed, curled up and shaking. _I can't do this anymore..._

She didn't know how long she lay there, feeling the heat drain from her inch by inch. The night had settled into a deep, almost living darkness, the rain still pouring continuously down into the thirsty ground. She felt a hand on her shoulder, but couldn't bring herself to care enough to respond. A cool baritone voice penetrated her thoughts, "Ryuuen-chan? Is that you?" The voice was full of wonder, but the words made her shrink even farther away.

This she could respond to -- she had to. She batted feebly at the hands that seized her shoulders, mumbled, "That isn't my name... not my name... I'm Kourin! I'm Kourin..." The hands pulled her into a rough embrace and rubbed her back. She couldn't summon the strength to push the man away. Finally, she felt herself lifted into strong, muscular arms. She knew no more for quite some time.

* * *

When next she woke, it was to a mix of sensations. She was tucked into a warm bed, wearing a loose sleeping robe. The sun was pouring in through the window, promising a warm day to come. A cool cloth lay against her brow, and there were two weights settled on the bed with her, one to either side. The one on the left was the first to speak, "Come on, Ryuuen-chan, it's time to wake up now. You're safe."

The weight on the right -- the baritone from last night -- added his two cents as he drew the cool compress from her forehead, "Wake up, otouto-chan. You can't sleep forever."

That caught her attention. In her half-fevered state, she almost forgot who she was, and more importantly, who she was _supposed_ to be. The word burst from her as she reached out a hand to that gentle, familiar voice, "Nii-chan??" She heard a choked sob and was soon pulled against a strong shoulder. The voice was rough with suppressed emotion when it answered, "Yes, Ryuuen. It's me. It's so good to see you... I've missed you -- more than you know."

Kourin felt the weight of the past eight years sink down on top of her. Combined with the strains of last night and the unexpected reminder of her imouto's death, it was too much. She crumpled against Rokou's shoulder and dissolved into tears. The other weight lifted off the bed. When it settled down again, a mug of hot soup was pushed into her hands. She raised her eyes to meet those of her Sensei. Somehow she wasn't surprised. She gave him a tentative smile as she sipped at the soup. Rokou slowly stroked her hair as she quieted, "Gods, Ryuuen. If I didn't know who you were, I'd think you were a girl!"

Kourin blushed, for the first time in a long time feeling like the young girl that she was, "That's sort of the idea, nii-chan." Her voice caught on the last word and she lowered the cup.

Sensei growled at her, "For the gods' sake, Ryuuen, drink it!" Years of learning to obey that voice forced the cup back to her lips. She drank it down and soon felt quite a bit better as warmth returned to her extremities. She turned to Rokou, still unsure of him. She hadn't seen him in eight years, no longer knew him well enough to predict what he might do. It made her nervous. He continued to stroke her hair.

Finally, he spoke, "'Kaasan hasn't been the same since you left, Ryuuen. Losing Kourin was hard on all of us, but to lose you in the same week nearly tore the family apart. 'Tousan and 'Kaasan blamed themselves for driving you away. I was like the invisible child around the house. I think they were afraid to acknowledge me... afraid that I would disappear, too. 'Tousan didn't even have the heart to keep up his business. It's a good thing I have a knack for tailoring. I took over the shop as soon as I was able. I've been running it for about six years now."

Kourin lowered her gaze. She knew why Rokou was telling her these things, knew that she should feel some measure of guilt for leaving him behind -- as always -- to pick up the pieces. But she had long ago accepted that by traveling this path in life, there were some things for which she might never be forgiven. Abandoning her family in their hour of greatest need had only been the first such of many. She answer him quietly, "I'm sorry, nii-chan. I never meant to hurt you."

Rokou patted Kourin's back. He seemed as uncomfortable with the situation they were in as she was, "It's all right, otouto-chan. Really, I'm just glad to know that you're okay." He cleared his throat and glanced around the room as though looking for a less volatile subject. Finally he settled on, "So where have you been hiding all these years?"

Kourin smiled a soft smile at her brother's awkwardness and started to tell her tale, "When I left the capital, I confess I was not really paying attention to where I went. I just knew that I wanted to leave. I think I must have walked for several months, just aimlessly wandering from village to village. I had stopped in a small town one day, trying to barter my skills for some food, when a servant came running down the mountain, screaming that the local lord had been caught in a rock-slide. Since I knew that I could help him, I went along with the rescue party." She gave her sensei a smile, and he nodded in approval. "Anyway, I saved him, and he and his wife were so grateful that they took me in as their daughter."

Rokou's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline, but he didn't say anything. "He raises horses and, in spite of my gender, he taught me everything he knew. He even gave me a little bay mare of my own. Her name is Osozaki." A smile crossed her lips as she remembered all the trouble that little mare had caused. "Eventually, a messenger came from court, announcing that the new Emperor was gathering all the young women so he could choose a bride. My parents insisted that I go, so I did. I'd been living there for a year when Suzaku no Miko showed up. I have been relieved of my duties as a Court Princess to devout myself to my responsibilities as her seishi."

Her sensei merely smiled and patted her knee, "As you were meant to."

Kourin nodded, "Yes, sensei. I know that now... I know that well." She then sighed, "Speaking of which... we had plans to leave on a journey this morning. I can only imagine what sort of disarray I have thrown things into by not being there." With a pointed look at her own state of undress, she eyed her sensei and her brother, "But I can't return to the palace dressed like this..."

With an embarrassed look, Sensei frowned, "Your... dress was rather soiled from the rain and mud. I sent it to be cleaned, but it won't be ready for another day." When he saw the frustration start to gather in his student's eyes, he amended, "But my wife has some old clothes that might fit you. They aren't court garb, but they're good for traveling."

Kourin gave him a grateful smile, then turned to her brother. Rokou was trying to hold back tears as he pulled Kourin to his chest, "I wish you could stay. I'd like to get to know you again. There is so much I missed out on by you not being here."

Kourin felt a lump rise in her throat. Since their imouto had been born, they had pretty much ignored their older brother. For the first time in seventeen years, Kourin thought about how that must have made Rokou feel. She pulled Rokou more tightly to her and this time patted _his_ back, "I'm sorry, nii-chan. I have to go, I have no choice. I am a Suzaku Seishi. Nuriko. Remember? You were the first one who told me." Rokou nodded and Kourin continued, "When this mission is over and Konan is safe from Kutou and Seiryuu, I will come back. This I swear to you on my honor as a seishi."

Rokou frowned, "But those are serious enemies! What if you don't--" His voice choked off abruptly, then he quietly continued, "I couldn't bare to lose you, too."

Kourin pulled back to look into her brother's eyes and said, with all the certainty that she could muster, "I won't die, nii-chan. I've lived this long... I'm too stubborn to quit, now. I **will** come back to you."

At that moment sensei walked in with the clothing and held it out to Kourin, who smiled and nodded her thank you. He smiled in return, then pulled Rokou out of the room, "You don't stand and stare at a lady when she's dressing."

This pulled a surprised chuckle out of Kourin and she dressed with a much lighter heart. The outfit was a little big on her, but for traveling, that wouldn't matter much. She walked out into the main room to discover her brother already gone. Sensei shrugged, then enveloped her in a hug, "You just make sure you keep that promise, Ryuuen. I expect to see you back here bothering me very soon! Keep in touch, this time." She nodded and quietly left on her way back to the palace. She had a journey to make.

* * *

Questions, comments, pineapples? ^_^

Thanks to those of you who have been leaving me comments! It's good to know that someone other than me and my beta are enjoying the rewrite. *g* Keep 'em coming!

Renee-chan


	3. Chapter 3

**_February 4, 2010:_** Got part 3 back from the beta-reader (Thank you, Yanagi-sen!! ^_^), posting now. Enjoy!

**_Osozaki Blooms Part 3  
_**by _Renee-chan_

It was a subdued group that met in the courtyard that morning. The storm of the night before might have ended, but the bleak, heavy gray clouds overhead seemed to be a constant threat of more bad weather. If he'd had any hope of it clearing in the next few days, or any hope that Miaka would recover on her own, the Emperor would have postponed the journey. As it was, however, they had no choice in the matter. And really, aside from the rain, they had bigger problems.

Hotohori's biggest concern, apart from Miaka's health, was the state of their group of seishi. The strife and discord between they three could not continue as it was, but for now, Hotohori could not see a way clear to fixing it. After last night, he greatly feared that any hope of true peace between he and Nuriko was gone for good. Oh, the woman was acting amiable enough since she'd showed up this morning, but there was an icy chill in her eyes every time he or Tamahome attempted to engage her in conversation. The only one that she was being truly friendly and caring towards, ironically enough, was Suzaku no Miko... a girl she'd hated just a few days earlier. Miaka wasn't doing much better. She would not meet his eyes, was still shy of getting too close to him after the other night. She also seemed to have developed an aversion to Tamahome and he to her. It was enough to make the Emperor's head spin.

There was, unfortunately, no help for it. They had to make this journey and they had to make it together. He couldn't even send Miaka with a set of guards. He couldn't trust that that would be enough to keep her safe and it would slow them down. So... really there was no choice. In the interest of making peace, and to show everyone that for the purpose of this journey they would all be equals, Hotohori cupped his hands to offer Nuriko a leg up to her horse. He was surprised that she accepted... until she took the opportunity to "accidentally" kick him in the head. Hotohori heaved a huge sigh. It was going to be a _long_ trip.

* * *

Nuriko couldn't help but smile as she noted the slight discoloration forming near the Emperor's left eye as he laid down to sleep that night. It had been a purely instinctual impulse, but one she'd been unable to ignore. After all, turnabout might be fair play... but payback was a bitch. Once he and Tamahome were settled into their sleeping rolls, Nuriko turned to the other side of camp to check on Miaka. The girl had walked off into the trees to relieve herself almost 5 minutes ago and had yet to return. Having decided to take her role of protector seriously, Nuriko found herself loathe to let the girl stumble around unaided, especially being as sick as she was.

After a few minutes of searching, she finally found the miko kneeling down with her head pressed against a tree, face flushed. She dropped down next to her and lightly gripped her shoulder, "Suzaku no miko?"

The girl turned to her, eyes somewhat glazed, "Nuriko?"

The Suzaku seishi sighed, "Of course, Miaka." The poor girl looked exhausted. Something was going to have to be done about all the tension between them before it frayed the girl further than it already had. She could do nothing about Miaka's worries over the Emperor other than keep the man away from her while she slept, but Tamahome... perhaps she could do something to fix the awkwardness between them. Not that Tamahome was her first choice for the miko's affection anymore, far from it, but she did seem honestly taken with him. If she could relieve some of the tension between them, it just might help. But how...?

Eyeing the girl's short skirt, she suppressed a shiver, "Miaka... I don't wish to question your sense of fashion, but perhaps on a night this chill you would do better to dress more warmly? I am certain I have enough clothing that we could share." Silently she added, _And I wouldn't have to fight off the urge to gut him every time I caught the Emperor staring at those bare legs of yours..._

Miaka offered her a brilliant smile, "Nuriko... that is so kind. Thank you, but I'll be all right. I don't want to get you sick, as well."

A mischievous idea forming, Nuriko offered an alternative, "There is said to be a hot spring in these woods. Legend grants it healing properties. Perhaps that would help?"

The miko offered her a genuine smile and nodded. Nuriko pointed her in the right direction. Miaka ran off, pausing only long enough to throw an admonishment over her shoulder, "Don't tell Tamahome or Hotohori!"

Nuriko waved at the miko's retreating back, a glint in her eyes. _Of course, not, Miaka-chan... I wouldn't dream of it._ Instead, she did the next best thing. She just grabbed Tamahome by the ankle and dragged him to the opposite edge of the spring. She then made her way around to the spring source and picked up a dead log to release into the spring. Once the miko saw it coming her way and began screaming... the fun would begin. Climbing up into a nearby tree, Nuriko settled down to wait. She didn't have to wait long.

As Miaka saw the log approaching from upstream, she let out a mighty scream. Nuriko felt a twinge of guilt at the fear she clearly caused the girl, but a moment later she was ready to cheer. Tamahome did not disappoint. Hearing that shriek, he leapt from his bedroll and immediately dove after the foul beast that dared harm his miko. Nuriko about fell out of the tree, she was laughing so hard. It was positively amazing what the sleeping mind revealed about a man's true feelings. And sleep-befuddled as he was, when confronted by Miaka, he actually offered her the truth. Nuriko found her attitude towards the other seishi softening, for in that moment, he sounded so very young and more than a little bit lost himself.

When Tamahome had gone, Nuriko leapt lightly down from the tree and attempted to make a silent retreat. Apparently, she should have waited. That girl had ears like a cat! No sooner had Nuriko's feet touched the ground than Miaka was upon her. What she really didn't expect, however, was that immediately upon the heels of being accused of treachery, Miaka was hugging her and thanking her! Well... that reconciliation _had_ gone well, but still, she didn't appreciate being manhandled like that.

As she tried to delicately extricate herself from the younger girl, Miaka only seemed to become more attached. She had a good grip on Nuriko's dress and was shaking her back and forth in her exuberance. Nuriko had but one brief moment to realize exactly how this could severely backfire... when it did exactly that. The tie around her waist had loosened from the shaking and the dress, being just a little too big, slid down her shoulders to bare her to mid-chest. Abruptly the shaking stopped. Nuriko's face did a slow burn.

Miaka, for her part, was staring at Nuriko's chest -- and what was clearly not there. She stammered a few syllables, none of which Nuriko caught, then abruptly jerked herself backwards with a little scream, "You're a **man**???"

For just a moment, Nuriko's mind completely froze. Never had he thought that this sort of thing could happen. People in _this_ world kept a respectable distance from each other. They weren't like Suzaku no Miko, running around hugging and shaking and molesting each other! His mind running in frantic little circles, it took him several precious moments to come up with an answer. Forcing a lightness into his smile that he didn't truly feel, Nuriko gave Miaka one of "Kourin's" best Court laughs and said, "Yes, I'm a man. So what?"

Miaka's eyes narrowed and she said with suspicion, "But you're in love with the Emperor! And you _kissed_ Tamahome!"

Nuriko continued to treat the subject as flippantly as he could, as though people in his world did this sort of thing all the time -- after all, for all the miko knew, they might. It was his only hope for salvation, to convince her that this was of such little consequence that she wouldn't feel the need to inform the Emperor of her little discovery. Giggling lightly into his hand he forced a twinkle into his eyes, "Well, of course. I've given up the path of manhood for love."

Miaka twitched at him for another several moments, then seemed to abruptly come to terms with what he had said, "Well... I suppose I can understand that." She offered him a conspiratory wink, "I've read my share of boys' love manga, you know. And in America, I've heard they turn men into women all the time."

If he weren't trying to play things so cool, Nuriko would have twitched at Miaka's abrupt acceptance. Men becoming women? They must have some powerful magic to accomplish that. But what really caused him confusion... "What do you mean, 'boys' love manga'?"

To his surprise, Miaka giggled and a small blush crept across her features, "Well, manga are books written in the form of picture stories." At Nuriko's continued confusion, she elaborated, "The author draws several pictures in sequence and writes the dialogue in with the pictures to tell the story." When she saw that Nuriko understood, she continued, "And manga that are 'boys' love' are romantic stories between two men. A lot of girls where I'm from secretly read them."

Nuriko felt a stab of envy so fierce it almost overwhelmed him. It was so unfair! If he lived in Miaka's world, not only could he and the Emperor have been together, there would have been no social stigma against it! He was forced to look away from the blushing girl, but did respond, "What a different world you live in, Suzaku no Miko. You wear skirts that bare your legs, you hug people who are not family, you will run around unchaperoned with a man... and the men in your world are free to love each other without fear of reprisal." To his surprise, Nuriko felt his voice getting rough with emotion, "I wish I could see such a place..."

Miaka, seeming to understand that this was not as carefree a subject as she had first thought, laid a gentle hand on Nuriko's shoulder. Her voice was full of sad understanding, "No wonder you're always so angry all the time. Does anyone else know?"

Nuriko shook his head, "No one who matters... besides you."

A note of awe crept into her voice, "Not even your servant?"

A choked laugh, "Especially not her. While I love Emi dearly, one of the reasons we get along so well is that she is a _terrible_ gossip. I would never live it down if anyone at Court were to find out."

Miaka's small hand eased from Nuriko's shoulder to slide around his back and squeeze him lightly to her, "You must be so lonely..."

Nuriko let out another bitter laugh, "I never really gave much thought to it. I've been living this lie for so long, it began to feel like truth. And one in my position does not acquire many friends anyway. So how would I know the difference?"

Another squeeze, "Well, you will now. I meant what I said the other night -- I think you could use a friend and I'd like to be your first one. Friends keep each other's secrets, it's part of what makes them friends. But, if you ever want to talk to someone about it... well, that's another thing that friend's are good for."

And just as Miaka felt the need to borrow words from their other conversation, so too did Nuriko, "I really _don't_ deserve you, Miaka... but I think I'll keep you just the same. Thank you."

Brushing a light kiss against her new friend's cheek, Miaka simply said, "You're welcome." She then gathered up her clothes and scampered off to dress and settle down for the night.

Nuriko, hand pressed to the cheek where he could still feel the warmth of Miaka's lips, looked up into the night sky and smiled, "You were right as usual Kourin... I think I _do_ like her. Good night, imouto-chan... wherever you are."

* * *

The next afternoon, however, Nuriko was not feeling quite as charitable. It was with a now familiar flash of hurt that he found Miaka cuddled up to the Emperor on that hillside. Sure there might be a perfectly logical explanation -- knowing how the Emperor had once ordered their miko to spend the night in his rooms, this might be another page out of that same story... or it might not be. Miaka looked awfully comfortable tucked up against the Emperor and she wasn't exactly struggling to get away. But Nuriko pushed down the hurt as best he was able and tried to give his new friend the benefit of doubt. That didn't mean he was going to trust her easily, though. Once they were back in the woods, leading their horses down the tricky paths, he maneuvered it so that he was side-by-side with the Emperor and she was walking with Tamahome. Ostensibly, he did it to give the younger pair some time alone... no one needed to know he had an ulterior motive.

After they'd been walking for the better part of an hour, Hotohori abruptly stopped. Nuriko walked up beside him, and allowed his voice to practically ooze with goodwill, "Is something wrong, Hotohori-sama?"

The other man frowned, "Does something seem strange to you, Nuriko?"

Choosing to interpret that as an invitation to flirt, though he could clearly see it wasn't, Nuriko responded with, "Oh, no, Hotohori-sama! I think we make a _wonderful_ couple!" It was just too tempting to find ever more new and exciting ways to make the Emperor uncomfortable -- it wasn't _his_ fault that he couldn't seem to pass one up!

Hotohori actually blushed a little in response. Ever since that day that Nuriko had chastised him, not allowing him off the hook for the way he'd been treated, the Emperor had been exceedingly uncomfortable around him. It almost seemed as though he knew he'd done wrong and that he knew he should apologize, but didn't know how. And given his rank, it was very possible that he never _had_ had to apologize before. Not that Nuriko was going to cut him any slack. The Emperor made a vague waving motion at the trees around them, "I meant this fog. Isn't it a little early in the day for it? And it feels like we've been going in circles."

Nuriko bit off a small curse. Damn. He'd been so intent on playing his little games with the other seishi and their miko that he'd missed something obvious right in front of his face, "No... you're right, Hotohori-sama. Something is wrong." Extending his senses outward, he finally detected what he should have sensed the moment they walked into this trap. This fog was no natural fog. It was laced with magic -- powerful magic. Hotohori's chi was a bright blaze immediately to his left, Tamahome's a little further out but rapidly getting closer... where was Miaka?? Heart starting to beat a little faster, Nuriko cast about for the feel of the girl's chi. All seishi had a connection to their miko. He should be able to sense her as easily as he did the other seishi! So where was she?

Tamahome soon walked into view in front of them. Their miko wasn't with him. Nuriko all but pounced on him, "Tamahome! Where is Miaka?"

The boy at least had the grace to look embarrassed, "The fog got thick and we got separated. I couldn't find her, so I thought I should come back here and find you."

Hotohori spoke up, "You did the right thing, Tamahome. It'll be easier to find her if we all look. Just don't wander off out of shouting distance. In this fog, it would be altogether too easy for us all to become lost."

* * *

Two hours later, Nuriko was growing quietly frantic. After carefully searching that entire section of woods, they still had not found the miko. More worrying to him, however, was that he still could not _sense_ the girl, _Could my connection to her be so weak? Or could something have happened to her?_ Though the former embarrassed him severely, he certainly preferred it to the possibility of the latter.

As they three met back up, however, fate seemed to be finally on their side in something. Miaka walked up to join the group as though it was nothing strange that they'd been separated all that time. Stepping up the battlefield without even a pause, Tamahome got right into her face, "Where have you been?"

And that was the first indication that something was dreadfully wrong. Miaka smiled... and it wasn't her smile. After a moment of horrified realization, Nuriko recognized it as her own. It was her own at its most cruel. Miaka shrugged off the question with a demure, "Nowhere special," before leaning up to get into Tamahome's personal space and asking, "Why, Tamahome? Were you worried about me?" The insincerity that oozed out of Miaka's normally bright and honest voice almost made Nuriko ill to hear. All the more so because he recognized each and every one of these new tricks as one of "Kourin's" own. Of all the things he would have wished to teach his miko, Kourin's bitter cruelty would never have been one of them.

As Tamahome spluttered and attempted to deny Miaka's words, the Emperor stepped into the awkward moment with a heartfelt, "Well, in any case, we're all glad you're all right."

Then in a very uncharacteristic move, Miaka stepped away from Tamahome, dismissing him and his concerns with barely a thought. Something was _very_ wrong here, very-- What?? Nuriko watched in benumbed horror as Miaka flung her arms around Hotohori-sama and responded to his comment with a melodramatic, "Please forgive me, darling! I never wanted to cause you worry!"

_Eh??_ The part of Nuriko's mind that wasn't frozen in shock was quickly filling with a feeling of heart-clenching betrayal. This... this was what he should have expected from the beginning. Miaka was just like all the others! Pretending to be friendly just to gain enough information to utterly destroy her rival. She'd been scamming him this whole time! And that he'd fallen for those doe eyes and her "sincere" words! Shaking with anger, Nuriko forgot the one thing that he shouldn't have forgotten. Miaka, revealed as the scheming woman that she clearly was, had leverage over him... leverage that not only could humiliate him, it could get him banished at the very least, executed at the worst. And this true Miaka wouldn't hesitate to use that leverage.

Catching the growl emanating from the feminine seishi, Miaka turned those glazed, self-satisfied eyes on her "friend". She let her lips stretch into another of those smiles and asked, "Problem, Nuriko?"

Still missing the significance of what was happening here, Nuriko merely grated out, "Yes, _dear friend_, there is. You seem to have had a bit of an attitude adjustment in the last few hours. I can't exactly say I like the change."

Miaka's smile oozed with that satisfaction, "Really, Nuriko, I thought you'd be proud. After all, I've learned the lessons you taught me oh-so-well... Just because the student has surpassed the teacher is no reason to be jealous." She paused, face taking on a thoughtful look, "Or is that not why you're jealous?" Hugging the Emperor more tightly to her, she smirked in Nuriko's direction. And just like last night, the indigo-haired seishi recognized the danger too late to do anything about it. His face drained of all color as he heard Miaka say the words that would spell out his doom...

"And besides, you really should give up on Hotohori. I mean, it's ridiculous. You're a man."

Those words... they bit deeply and drew blood. He should have known better. He really should have known better. He had known how dangerous it was to trust, to allow someone in, and had ignored that hard won knowledge. This was the price. _You let people in, you let yourself love them and they always leave... and then they break your heart as they walk out the door. My sister did it to me. My parents did it, too. My **adoptive** parents did it. And now Miaka. Well. This is a lesson I won't have to learn again, so I suppose I have to thank you for that, Suzaku no Miko. Lesson learned. I'm done._

Gathering up his dignity as best he could, ignoring the shocked gazes of his fellow seishi, Nuriko matched his miko stare for stare, "I appreciate the lesson, Miaka-sama. I knew in my heart that I shouldn't trust you... any of you. I won't make that mistake again, you have my word on that." Then, turning his cold gaze on the Emperor, he spat out these words, "Good luck getting either to Mt. Taikyoku or back to the capital without me, heika-sama. May you get everything you deserve." Then, holding onto his composure with tooth and nail, he fled the scene.

* * *

Hotohori watched Nuriko go with an expression of stunned disbelief. The fact that Nuriko... that _Lady Kourin_ was a man... it was almost incomprehensible. It had been strange enough when there had been a woman who's beauty matched his own... but now he was to believe that another _man_ was as beautiful as he? Those surface thoughts protected him from examining the root of his confusion too closely. As confusing as Lady Kourin's actions had been before... how much more were they now? She had been sent to Court as a potential bride, willingly allowed herself to be imprisoned behind the castle's walls... when she hadn't had to? There must be more to the story than this! None of it made sense.

And now there was Miaka. Such a sweet, gentle, _honest_ girl... Why had she thought that Lady Kourin's-- damn it! **Nuriko's** behavior had been a good idea to emulate? She knew how he felt about that Lady's backstabbing ways... he hadn't thought her capable of such cruelty. Perhaps, at the root of it, all women were alike. Maybe that was why Nuriko had chosen to pursue men...

He allowed Miaka to lead him off into the trees for a private conversation. And the words that then came from her lips! At once they were the sweetest balm to his soul and at the same time a claxon warning bell. Certainly a woman could change her mind faster than the wind, but this... something was off in Miaka's behavior. Maybe it was just his inability to accept that his beloved, long-awaited miko could be as cruel as the vindictive Lady who had chased him all year. Maybe it was that he was still idealistic enough to believe that there could be a perfect woman out there for him. Whatever it was, he refused to believe that his open, honest and loving miko could in just a few hours turn into _this_.

Drawing his sword, he backed the woman away from him, "Who are you?" At her confused look, he pressed on, praying he was right, "The Miaka I know doesn't act like this! Who are you really?"

Miaka smiled... Lady Kourin's Court smile... and then all hell broke loose.

* * *

Nuriko, exhausted, finally stopped running. Away from those horrified stares, away from those betraying eyes, he could finally think. Something had been very wrong with what happened back there. He'd been so hurt, so caught up in his own fear and desperation, that he'd failed to notice a few very vital signs of something wrong -- like where had Miaka gotten the mirror she'd been carrying? And why, even when she'd returned and was as close as Tamahome and the Emperor... why had he still not felt her chi? Oh, it had been there... but it should have been just as strong as any of they three, if not stronger. He had barely felt it.

He began to pace. If only he could figure it out... what was it? Nuriko was abruptly jerked out of his thoughts by the flare of one... no **two** sets of chi. That was Tamahome and Hotohori-sama! And there... there was the third! Still weaker than it should be, as though muted somehow, but that answering chi flare was Miaka. He was sure of it. Relief washed through him, so sharp it was almost painful. That was what he had missed. The Miaka shown before them was a mirror imposter! And she'd brought the mirror trapping their miko with her in order to counterfeit her chi. He'd been so wrapped up in his own misery, he'd failed to notice. Cursing, he began to run towards the overhang, hoping beyond hope that he would not be too late.

About halfway there, he felt Miaka's chi flare wildly out of control... and a sharp pain exploded at the left side of his chest, centered over his heart. He fell to his knees, shock dilating his pupils. There it was again! He was feeling someone else's feelings, someone else's pain and fear. And just as it had happened the first time, this time he was equally certain that the pain he felt belonged to Miaka. She was hurt... she was hurt very badly, but how! And also just as before, accompanying the pain came a desperate voice screaming his name, ~Niichan!!~ Only this time, it wasn't precisely his imouto's voice. Somehow, it was also Miaka's. But how was that possible? The answer came to him in a rush. This power... the power to feel what other's felt, it had been his sister's. His sister who had died too young and, by her own words, been shortly thereafter reincarnated. His sister who had taunted him with the knowledge that he would be seeing her again, sooner than he thought.

_No... It can't be. It simply can not be!_ Heart clenching in shared pain and frustrated protective fury, Nuriko finally understood. The only possible explanation for all of it...

Miaka, Suzaku no Miko... the girl from another world who wanted so desperately to love him... _was Kourin_.

That flare of chi that had so caught his attention suddenly began fading, far too quickly. _No! I won't lose you again! Not when I've only just figured out that I have you back!_ He ran.

He reached a cliff that overlooked the clearing and looked down. Tamahome and Hotohori were battling against a horrid-looking monster. It had a wound in its chest and one of its arms was cut off. And it was holding that thrice-damned mirror. If he remembered his lore correctly, the real Miaka would be trapped inside. They had to break the mirror... and destroy the monster at the same time. Nuriko looked around, desperate for a weapon of some sort. Spotting a large boulder, he smiled, _This ought to do nicely._ He lifted it, took aim and threw it over the cliff. It landed on the monster with a satisfying crunch. If it weren't for the fact that he anticipated anything but a warm reception from the others, he would have laughed at the startled looks on the other Seishi's faces. Instead, he restricted himself to a light, "I thought you might need my help." He jumped from the cliff and landed gracefully on his feet before the other two men.

The Emperor met his gaze for one brief moment. What he saw reflected there was conflicted, confused... but not outright condemnation. It made _him_ confused. Before he could say anything, the other man dropped his gaze and turned to ask Tamahome how he was doing -- apparently the younger seishi had been injured in the fight. Nuriko fought the urge to clench his hands at the obvious warmth in the Emperor's voice and manner as he spoke, much less at the little mutual admiration society they were forming as they praised each other's fighting prowess. He'd never shown _Nuriko_ such warmth... ever. Unable to bear it any longer, Nuriko looked away, eyes catching on the broken mirror. If the monster had been destroyed, the mirror that it trapped its victims in shattered... where was Miaka? Where was his imouto??

As if the question had been enough to summon the miko, Miaka's crumpled form appeared on the ground beside the mirror. Shocked, Nuriko cried out, "Miaka!" The other two seishi jerked at the sound of their miko's name, each running to the girl and dropping down beside her. Tamahome made it to her first and gathered the girl up in his arms. If Nuriko hadn't been so worried, the sight would have warmed his heart.

Miaka was unconscious and bleeding from a wound in her chest. A broken piece of what appeared to be a ceramic plate jutted out of the wound. Nuriko hesitated to say anything, but the wound looked very clearly self-inflicted. Apparently, he wasn't the only one to notice that. The Emperor's voice was harsh with worry and fear as he asked, "Why would she do something like this?"

Nuriko walked over to join the group, daring to drop a comforting hand on the Emperor's shoulder, "Hotohori-sama... the monster had a wound in the same place. I daresay that she did it--"

Tamahome interrupted with an anguished, "You mean she did this to protect us?" Overcome, he shook Miaka, "No! That isn't how this works! We protect **you**, not the other way around. You can't die! Wake up!"

The younger seishi's grief and frenzy being catching, Hotohori also starting yelling their miko's name, ordering her to open her eyes... to come back to them. It was almost too painful to watch... and it was just like men to be so overcome by emotion that they could not act. Pushing the two almost harshly out of the way, Nuriko dropped to the ground and started examining the wound. Almost immediately, he got a shower of protests. He looked up, the fire of anger in his eyes as he spoke, "Sitting here and calling her name like lost children won't bring her back! We need to get her clothes off and treat that wound."

Tamahome, surprisingly, was the one who protested, "But we're all men! We can't undress her!"

Nuriko silently cursed the fact that their revelations about his own gender couldn't have held off for four more hours. He couldn't very well explain to the others that the reason he could undress their miko was that she was his sister reincarnated! Desperate, he met the Emperor's eyes in silent pleading as he answered with the simplest explanation he could, "In my heart, I'm a woman. I will do this."

Whatever the Emperor saw in his gaze, apparently it was enough. Placing a gentle hand on Tamahome's shoulder, he said, "Come, we'll turn away." As he did so, he said, "We will trust you, Nuriko... we have no choice."

The words were at once a boon and a back-handed slap. Nuriko forced himself to focus on the aspect that was the former and bent himself to his task. Silently apologizing to his sensei, he tore the arm of his traveling outfit into strips to use for bandaging, then set to the task of removing Miaka's clothes as gently as he could, careful of the plate section still embedded in her breast. With every noise that he made, the other two seishi would twitch, nearly turning around. Finally, Nuriko started up a running commentary, noting the Emperor's shoulders relax minutely as he did so, "She did quite a number on herself, but it doesn't seem as though she's hit anything vital." As jealous as he had been of Miaka's attributes, he had to admit to being grateful that she was so well-endowed. That extra padding between the blade and her heart had likely saved her life. Bandaging the wound as well as he was able, he indicated to the other two that it was safe to turn around.

The little-boy-lost tone to the Emperor's voice nearly broke his heart as he dropped down next to Miaka and asked, "Will she be all right?"

Inside, Nuriko felt just as lost as the Emperor sounded. He was forced to shake his head, "I don't know. She lost a lot of blood... it's up to the strength of her will, now."

The three seishi crouched around their miko, anxiously awaiting some sign that she was improving. It was far from ideal, where they were now. Miaka should be inside in a bed. She should be warm! That impotent fury felt like it would choke him as he listened to the other two again start to call Miaka's name and beg her to wake up. It was Hotohori who noticed their miko's face paling another shade. With barely concealed panic, he grabbed onto Nuriko's arm and shook him, "She's getting paler! Nuriko, what do we do? What do we do?"

His own heart racing, Nuriko couldn't think of a single thing that they _could_ do -- not out here in the wilderness. He cursed, "If we were back at the Palace and had the proper equipment, we could give her some of our own blood to replace what she's lost."

Before he had a chance to explain that that just wasn't practical in this situation, the other two men grabbed onto his words like drowning men to a life raft. They each slashed open a wound on their bodies, letting the blood drip onto Miaka's bandage, yelling out that if Miaka needed blood she could have every drop that they possessed. And to Nuriko's shock... it worked. Oh, not as he'd intended, mind you, but the conduit of the mingling of their blood enhanced the bond they shared with their miko and strengthened their mental calls to Miaka. To Nuriko's everlasting surprise, he could hear those calls. He could hear what Miaka was hearing! The part of her that had been Kourin was apparently still linked to his mind. He could hear the two seishi calling their miko home and the voice of one other, a young girl. He didn't know her, but Miaka certainly did. She started trying to respond, to return, but it just wasn't enough. Sensing how distracted the other two seishi were and banking on the fact that Miaka would not remember this upon waking, he threw his own voice into the mix, "_Imouto-chan! Kourin! You can't leave me again! Not when I've just found you. You can't die... I love you!_" With an immense sense of relief, he saw that that got her attention. Between himself, the unknown girl and the other two seishi, they called her back -- with Tamahome and Hotohori's blood opening the door.

When Miaka's eyes blinked open, they held his for a moment as she muttered, "Nuriko..." Something winked behind her eyes, as if she were grasping for something that she ought to remember, like trying to hold onto a dream upon waking... but no. It wasn't right for her to have that knowledge and well Nuriko knew it. Kourin had only been granted her memory for that one night to reassure him. The next time he saw her as Kourin would be when he died. It was enough for now that _he_ remembered. He would do it for both of them. Nuriko gave a sad smile as she turned to greet the other two.

He gasped as the air shimmered around them, and the next thing they knew, they were surrounded by huge, glorious mountains. There was only one place that this could be and Hotohori confirmed it, "We made it. We actually made it." His eyes, as they met Nuriko's, were shining with joy. To his surprise, Nuriko was able to return the gaze with one that was equally happy. For the first time since Kourin had died, he felt as if he belonged. It was a good feeling, one he intended to hold on to no matter what else came his way.

* * *

It had all seemed to happen so fast. As long as their journey had taken, Nuriko had somehow thought that the end should take longer still. As Taiitsu-kun had said, they should have rested a night, healed from their wounds, before attempting to send Miaka back to her own world. It should not have happened so quickly. Somehow, in spite of knowing that they were here to do exactly what they had done, Nuriko still hadn't been ready for it. And now Miaka was gone. _Kourin_ was gone. He stared at the empty spot where she had knelt just a moment ago and felt his heart lurch. He had lost her. **Again**. He stood slowly, still watching that spot as if she would somehow reappear, though knowing in his heart that she would not. He vaguely heard Hotohori-sama speaking with Taiitsu-kun, telling her how grateful that they all were. How could the man sound so calm? Surely his heart was breaking, just as Nuriko's was... A soft tug on his skirt drew Nuriko's attention away from the conversation. It was a Nyan-Nyan staring up at him with wide, smiling eyes. He forced a smile onto his own face and knelt down next to her, "What is it, little one?"

She smiled, innocence incarnate, and said those two dreaded words, "Me cure?"

Nuriko cringed inwardly, remembering the last conversation that had started like this. ~_I'll heal your perversion,_~ she'd said. He frowned and asked, "What do you mean? I have no injuries."

The Nyan-Nyan lifted a hand to rest it on his chest, over his heart. Her smile took on just a hint of sadness, "Me cure."

Nuriko swallowed hard as a lump of tears rose, unbidden into his throat. He shook his head mutely and slowly stood up, "Thank you, little one... for the thought. But, you can't fix that, only time can." The Nyan-Nyan frowned at him, but scampered away as she was dismissed. Nuriko wrapped his arms around himself and continued to stare at the spot that his beloved imouto had just vacated. He heard a voice to his left.

"Oi, Nuriko, we should head back to the capital. Taiitsu-kun said that she'll transport us back to where the horses are," Tamahome said.

With a sigh, Nuriko gathered up his skirts and moved to join the others. He felt drained beyond belief, as though the blood that Taiitsu-kun had transfused to their miko had all come from him -- though none of it had. _That_, he had to admit, had stung. Was his blood not good enough? He wasn't blind, he could see the increased connection that the transfusion had wrought between the miko and the other two seishi. Was he not to be permitted such a connection to his own sister? Then again... perhaps that was only just. He certainly had done nothing to deserve that special treatment.

They took their leave of Taiitsu-kun, who merely nodded and waved her hands. As quickly as they had come to this place, they were returned. It was an efficient way to travel, that was certain, but disorienting.

Hotohori grabbed the reins of his gelding and swung himself into the saddle, not saying a word to the other two as they also mounted. Then again... Nuriko certainly wasn't the only one physically and emotionally drained by their recent experience. And he did not even have the excuse of having been injured. Tamahome moved his horse up next to the Emperor's, leaving Nuriko to ride behind them. Neither said a word to him as they started to ride. It was not unexpected, this cold silence, but Nuriko had still hoped... Who was he kidding? Now that his secret was out, it was only love of their miko that had allowed the other two seishi to tolerate him as well as they had. Now that she was gone, they had no real motivation to be kind to him.

The ride back to the capital was made in silence. Nuriko tried to lighten the mood once or twice, but the baleful glares he received in response stilled his vocal chords. He rode, shrunk into the saddle, trying to go unnoticed. As they approached the palace gates, the Emperor spoke, "Tamahome, Nuriko -- as Suzaku Seishi you have the right to rooms in the palace, should you wish to use them. The servants will see to your comforts for as long as you decide to stay." He dismounted, handing his horse over to one of the guards and marching swiftly back towards the palace. Tamahome did the same, leaving Nuriko sitting on his horse alone outside the gates. The other guard stepped up next to him. Nuriko noted with no small feeling of irony that it was the very guard who had welcomed him on his first trip to the palace. He spoke quietly, as though not wishing to spook the feminine seishi, "Lady Kourin? Shall we have someone escort you inside?"

Nuriko gave voice to a tired laugh as he dismounted. He shook his head as he handed over the reins, "No, Takeo. Thank you, but this time I can find my own way." Not waiting to hear the young man protest, Nuriko gathered up the tattered skirts of his traveling dress and walked as quickly as propriety allowed back to the relative safety of his rooms. He thought he heard a few snickers in the corridor on the way back, but he shut his ears and merely upped his speed. If news of his masquerade had already spread, he would know soon enough.

When he reached his rooms, he slammed the door behind him and leaned heavily against it. A soft patter of footfalls made him look up, "Emi? What are you doing here?" The cruel laughing that he'd heard had convinced him that, at the very least, the servants all knew of his deception. Just like everywhere else, gossip seemed to be the only thing that could travel faster than a hummingbird's wings. He'd thought Emi would be long gone by the time he returned.

Emi just gave him a knowing, sad smile and said, "You really look terrible, Nuriko-sama. I've drawn you a bath. Perhaps you'll feel better after you wash up."

Those words were like a splash of cold water in his face. _Nuriko-sama_. Oh, Emi knew all right. The only question that remained was why was she still here? He wanted nothing more than to press her for answers, but the crawling of his skin made the decision for him -- bath first, questions later. He walked to the bathing room and stripped off his clothing. Before he took off his pants, he straightened to take in his form in the mirror. It was the first time he'd truly looked at himself thus since he had begun his elaborate masquerade. The decidedly flat planes of his chest evoked a red flush across his features. In spite of his secret being revealed, in spite of knowing that he had not always been this way, in his heart, he was still a woman. _Why do I have to be so different? Even when I admitted to myself and everyone else that I was a man... Why do I still feel this way?_ He angrily tore off the rest of his clothes and immersed himself in the bath. _I'm a pervert. Just some sick, unnatural... pervert. I know that's what they all think, and worse, deep down inside, I know it's true. I was attracted to Genrou. I am attracted to Hotohori. These days, I even think of myself as a woman. I know it isn't natural and it isn't how I used to feel... so why can't I just stop?_

He washed himself quickly for once, drawing no comfort from the warm, scented water. When he drew himself out of the bath, he reached for his robe and wrapped it tightly around himself. He had no desire to see the true nature of his body a second time. He walked back into the main room to find Emi sitting in her small chair by his vanity, Kourin's brush in her hands. He sat down in his own chair, cheeks still flushed. Emi lifted the brush and began to run it through his wet hair as though nothing had changed between them. After several minutes of utter silence, Nuriko could take it no longer. He spun around and grabbed Emi's wrist, "Well??"

Emi merely frowned at him, "Well what, Nuriko-sama?"

Nuriko's mouth dropped open as he let go of her wrist. Feeling close to a breaking point, Nuriko couldn't even think of any words powerful enough to explain the emotions roiling through his heart. Well, actions speak louder than words. He tore open the front of his robe and stared down at his chest, "This! Aren't you going to say something? Don't tell me you didn't know!" Head and body drooping, he finished with, "You've never lied to me before, Emi... please don't start now."

Emi calmly grabbed the flaps of his robe and pulled them closed, retying the sash. She picked up the brush and started running it through his hair again. She hummed a little until Nuriko started to relax under her ministrations. When he had calmed, she smiled a little. Her voice was quiet when it emerged, "I have served you faithfully for over a year now, Nuriko-sama."

Ah... and there it is. Nuriko's cheeks turned red again as he bitterly commented, "And because of that, no one will accept you anywhere else, now, is that it? The master's shame rubs off on the servants." He turned his face away.

Emi's hand lifted to Nuriko's chin and turned his head to face her. Her own was stern and her lips were turned down at the corners, "That's enough, Nuriko-sama. It should be enough that I am willing to stay with you. You need not know the reasons why." She let go of his chin and laid the brush down on the vanity, "If you wish to dismiss me, then I will go."

Nuriko quickly shook his head, fear alighting on his features at the thought of his one remaining friend abandoning him. Now that he'd had a taste of what it was like to have one, he was not so eager to give her up. And Emi was turning out to be a truer friend than he had ever thought possible. Emi smiled a little at his quick negation, "You will be wanting clothing...?" She let the sentence hang, leaving it to Nuriko to fill in what kind of clothing he would wish.

Quietly, he asked Emi to find him a long tunic and a pair of pants. If he was now to be a man again, he would have to start looking the part. He could at least try it out in private. She simply nodded, nonjudgmental, and left to find the required articles of clothing. Nuriko turned to the mirror and picked up a pair of scissors, hefting his thick hair in the other hand. Just as he was about to hack it all off, his heart skipped a beat and he dropped the scissors. He just couldn't do it. Not yet. His hair was too much a part of who he was. And besides... other men had long hair. Just look at the Emperor. It was all in how you wore it. Satisfied and reassured by that justification, he picked up a tie and pulled his hair back into a functional braid. He dressed in the clothing that Emi brought, slipping into a simple pair of slippers as he tied the gold sash around his waist.

Then, steeling himself, he walked to the mirror to take in his new reflection... and stared. Ridiculous! Even in men's clothing he still looked like a girl! Somehow, he had thought that putting on different clothing would automatically make him look like the man he actually was, instead of the woman he'd pretended to be for 8 years. He had forgotten to take into account that the mere fact that he _had_ been a woman for 8 years was bound to have taken its toll. His every move, his every gesture... his every _facial expression_, for crying out loud! They all screamed "female", and the fact that, in his heart, he didn't really want to change any of those things... This was going to be much harder than he'd thought. He shook his head ruefully and pulled open the door to his rooms.

Emi had left as quietly as she'd returned -- maybe to find more clothing that would suit Nuriko's altered needs. But really, it didn't matter, for what he wanted now, more than companionship, was some time alone to test the waters of this new self. He made his way out to the lake and dropped down to a convenient boulder, knees to his chest. He felt altogether too exposed in the clothing he now wore -- and not very comfortable, either. He shut off that train of thought. He was going to try to wear men's clothing at least for a little while each day. Even if he still felt like a women inside, he could at least try to look like a man on the outside. He turned his gaze to the water and merely sat, enjoying the stillness for a while.

* * *

Hotohori frowned at the piles of documents that awaited him at his return. Having had a taste of the freedom that could be his as a simple seishi, it was hard to return to life in this gilded cage. He could almost envy Nuriko -- at least he had been set free from _his_ self-imposed prison. It was the one good thing that had come from this whole mess. He could never have fully set Lady Kourin free from the Court -- not without bringing shame to her family. But Nuriko... that was a different story altogether. It was strange, though. As happy as he was for the other man... he was sad, too. The one thing that he had known before, the one thing he had been able to count on, was that no matter that her love for him had been matched only by her equally strong hate... Lady Kourin had been a kindred spirit. He had fought against that knowledge all year, but he had been aware of it just the same. Hers had been a spirit just as strong as his and just as misplaced in the life to which she had been forced. As rocky as the relationship between them had become, as harshly as he had pushed her away, on some level, his heart had begun to soften towards her. Before the arrival of Suzaku no Miko, he had begun to wonder... would it be so bad? He could certainly have done worse than Lady Kourin for an Empress.

Except... there was no Lady Kourin. She was a myth, a figment... she didn't exist. And now knowing that, Hotohori felt like he had lost a dear friend. Certainly Lady Kourin had been anything but... but she had been a constant in his life, someone he could depend on, and now she was gone. He sat in benumbed silence for a few moments, then finally gave the situation up as a lost cause. He tossed the documents back onto his desk and declared to the air that he was going for a walk. He needed to clear his head before attacking the business of the state -- otherwise they were likely to find themselves embroiled in a war or some such just because he hadn't been paying attention. Fleeing his office, Hotohori headed for one of the few places on the grounds were he could go to calm down: the lake.

And so it was with great disappointment that he found his favorite spot already occupied. Worse still, the boy's long braid of indigo hair brought visions of Lady Kourin to his mind -- the very thoughts that he had come out here to escape. Odd that there was another at court with that unusual shade of hair and he hadn't known. Could he be one of the new stable lads? Perhaps one the guard trainees? But if either were true, he should not have access to this part of the grounds. He started towards the boy to scold him for being where he should not, but something about his dejected posture, the way he hugged his knees to his chest... Hotohori found himself feeling a surge of sympathy for the forlorn figure at the edge of the lake. So instead of scolding, he knelt next to the boy and quietly asked, "Are you all right?"

The figure's head whipped around so quickly that his braid nearly smacked the Emperor in the face, "Hotohori-sama! I didn't realize you were there. I'm sorry for intruding! I... I'll just leave now." Delicate hands fluttered to cover the boy's open mouth as he stammered apologies.

Now that Hotohori could see the boy's face, he realized that his earlier instincts had, in fact, been correct. Irritated at having been conned into feeling sympathy for the other seishi, he simply said, "Nuriko. So it is you."

Nuriko bowed his head and nodded miserably, his posture even more dejected than before. It was... strange. The Emperor didn't think he'd ever seen Lady Kourin look so lost. It made the world seem out of balance somehow. Lady Kourin was confidence and poise incarnate. To see her -- or one who looked so like her -- so flustered and uncertain... It was just plain wrong. Hotohori sat down next to the other seishi and turned his gaze out to the lake. It was only then that he realized that he had no idea how to start a conversation with the other man. He'd never had a talk with Lady Kourin that hadn't ended in a bitter argument or with his being utterly humiliated. So, feeling more than a little flustered and uncertain himself, he just blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "Why are you dressed like that?"

The answer was not quite what he expected. Nuriko's voice was uncharacteristically depressed when he responded, "Why do you care?"

That response caused Hotohori to frown at the other seishi. It just wasn't like him... that bitterness had been all self-directed. Again, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong here, but he had no experience with getting others to confide in him. Feeling as though he was a lumbering ox trapped in a display hall full of priceless artifacts, he pressed on, "Well, you can dress however you like, now, Nuriko... I suppose it isn't any of my business. But somehow..." He paused for a moment, trying to find the right words, "Somehow, I thought you'd be relieved to be able to give up your pretending... but you don't seem happy about it."

Nuriko stared at him in open-mouthed shock, then shook his head. He drew his knees back to his chest, resting his arms on top of them, "No, Hotohori-sama. I am not happy. But I still find it hard to believe that you actually care about that. It isn't as though I've ever mattered to you before. I've been a thorn in your side since I first came here, but even though you knew you would never want me, you wouldn't release me, either. And now this... At best, this is bittersweet. I may have my freedom... but I've lost my honor in the bargain. I can't return home without bringing shame to my family. It would be better for them if I were just to die... again."

Hotohori watched as the indigo-haired seishi rested his head on top of his arms, feeling a twinge of alarm. He'd never thought about that particular consequence to the truth being revealed. It had never occurred to him that Nuriko's family might not be privy to his secret. And for a man... ritual suicide was an acceptable way to deal with dishonor, especially when the shame involved might spread to include one's whole family. And while he might still harbor some resentment towards Lady Kourin, if the Emperor were honest with himself, he would admit that on their journey, he had warmed somewhat to Nuriko. He had thought that without the bitterness of denied expectation between them, maybe that shared understanding of the cruelty of destiny could blossom into something more -- a friendship. But he'd never had a friend before, never tried to approach someone with the intent of treating them as an equal. He didn't know how and it made him feel inadequate. He didn't want to say the wrong thing and bring about the very thing he was trying to turn the other seishi away from. Again, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "Suzaku no miko will need all of the seishi when she returns, you know."

Nuriko stared at him for a moment, blinking uncomprehendingly, before the pieces fell into place. Hotohori could see the exact moment it happened. The indigo-haired seishi's lips quirked upwards at the corner, twitching as they fought off the full smile that was trying to spread. His earth brown eyes started to twinkle and finally he lost the battle and let out a hearty, though feminine, laugh. When he calmed enough to take in the Emperor's now very disgruntled face, his eyes took on an apologetic cast, "I'm so sorry, Hotohori-sama. I did not realize you would take my words in that way, though I should have." He shook his head, "I make you a promise, heika-sama: I have no intention of taking my own life..." His voice dropped into a whisper as he finished with, "...no matter how worthless it may seem to me right now. I know that I am still needed, as a seishi, if in no other way."

Though the words should have been reassuring, somehow Hotohori found them to be anything but. Unsure, he placed a hand on Nuriko's shoulder, "That is not the only way in which you are needed, Nuriko--"

He got no further. Nuriko's head jerked up off his arms as his eyes bore into the Emperor's, the flames of anger lit deep within them. _This_ was more what the Emperor expected of Nuriko. These angry eyes... they were Lady Kourin's eyes. With a shock, Hotohori realized that he had missed the very fiery passion that he had thought he was glad to be rid of. Nuriko's voice was a quiet hiss of ire when he spoke, "Do you take me for a fool, heika-sama? I disgust you, just as I do everyone else. I've heard what the servants have been whispering about me ever since our return. How did they learn the truth, I wonder? _I_ didn't tell them. Taiitsu-kun didn't tell them. How long do you think before that knowledge spreads around the whole court?" In truth, it had never occurred to the Emperor to try to keep it quiet. He and Tamahome had discussed the matter in front of several of his own servants. His cheeks flamed as Nuriko's eyes blazed. He recognized that expression. The other seishi was just getting started.

Rising to his feet, Nuriko's hands clenched into fists and Hotohori felt himself start to sweat. At least Lady Kourin had not posed a physical threat in her anger... Nuriko was another story. With his seishi strength, the other man could do him serious harm. Fortunately, the only damage he seemed bent on inflicting was with words, "And this sudden desire to be my friend? Where did it come from? Just weeks ago you hated me, couldn't stand to be near me. Just days ago, you and Tamahome were so disgusted by my presence you wouldn't even _talk_ to me! Then, when we return to Court, you waste not one precious second in divulging my secret to ruin me completely. And now you have the gall to approach me and tell me that my life has meaning to you?" Hurt flooded his eyes, "I am not that stupid, heika-sama, nor am I blind." He spat out his final words, "Spare me your pity. I don't need it, nor do I desire it." With those last bitter words, Nuriko stormed away from the lake, leaving the Emperor staring after him in embarrassed, guilty silence.

* * *

_How dare he!_ Nuriko fumed as he paced back and forth in his rooms. It wasn't as though his situation weren't bad enough. To have the Emperor dangling a friendship in front of his face as though he had any right to do it! As though he _meant_ it... Well, Nuriko was no idiot and he was not blind. It was the Emperor's fault that he was in this predicament. And what could he do about it now? It was a futile wish that the servants hadn't spread this particularly juicy piece of gossip around by now.

Pacing feverishly, Nuriko tried to determine his next move. He could go to dinner tonight, dressed as he was, and deal with the consequences... or he could go dressed as usual, as Lady Kourin. Neither option seemed very promising. A little voice in the back of his mind prompted that there was a third option. He could go, dressed however he liked, and take dinner with the Emperor and Tamahome. They'd dined that way several times before Miaka had left. But after his encounter with the Emperor this afternoon, he was feeling anything but charitable towards the man and didn't wish to give him the satisfaction of running to him for protection.

After a few more minutes of pacing, Nuriko made up his mind. Stripping out of his tunic and pants, he took one of his nicer dresses from the closet and pulled it on. It was reassuring, the feeling of those layers of soft silks. It was comforting. Calling for Emi, he sat down at the vanity. Without a word, she brushed his hair and pulled it up into a style that "Lady Kourin" had favored. She applied make-up to his face and straightened his clothing. Nuriko couldn't help but admire the woman's handiwork. He looked just as he had when he was masquerading as a woman. It was a vain hope, he knew, but still he hoped that the rumors hadn't spread... that there was a chance, however slim, that he might pick up at least a part of his former life undamaged. He again ignored that traitorous little voice that whispered, _But do you want to...?_

A gong rang in the courtyard, signifying a start to evening court. Nuriko stood slowly and headed towards the dining area. As soon as he reached it, Nuriko realized that his worst suspicions were true. The lords and servants sneered as they saw him, laughed in his face as he walked by. His hair and clothes were forcefully tugged, feet held out to trip him more than once. Rude comments reached his ears, staining his cheeks a delicate pink. By the time he reached his spot at the main table, Nuriko felt his composure beginning to slip. One of his chief rivals at court, Lady Mariko, slipped delicately into his seat. She smiled cruelly at him and laughed, "You aren't wanted here, sir. Perhaps you should leave."

All conversation stopped and all eyes turned to him. Though, on some level, he'd been expecting exactly this reaction, Nuriko was still caught off guard by the open hostility in the faces ranged around him. One of the younger lords that he'd been particularly nasty to of late stood up and added his own two cents, "Your kind isn't wanted here. Go crawl back into your father's bed where you belong." Nuriko took a step back, all color draining from his face. More and more people stood up, eager to add their own insults. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor and not wanting to be at the center of a court-wide brawl, Nuriko gathered what dignity he could and turned and left the room.

He should have expected that it wouldn't end there. He really should have. He'd played too many cruel games with too many innocent people, and many who were not so innocent. He should have known that they wouldn't pass up this opportunity to see him humbled. Not 30 steps from the courtyard and his retreat was abruptly halted by a firm grip on his left arm. He froze, turned to glare at the one who dared manhandle him thus. It would be easy enough to break the man's grip were he to use his seishi powers. Something, though... something held him back. It felt wrong somehow. After all, it wasn't as though this punishment was undeserved. Shocked into stillness by that thought, he allowed another to grab his right arm and didn't even notice when they were surrounded by the men's other compatriots. All were lords that he had slighted in the past. A third lord of his former entourage was standing before him, cracking his knuckles. He gave Nuriko an evil smile, "Well now, pretty boy. We were thinking, now that you're a man, we can treat you like one. We're here to get some of our own back..."

Nuriko knew what was coming -- how could he not know? And he knew he could stop it, could have the men off him and trampled beneath his feet in a matter of minutes. But he just couldn't do it. For they were right and this was just. He had lied. He had committed cruel acts. He had played these men off each other, bringing shame to many of them. And now? Now _his_ honor was in question. And having had a taste of what it was like to _have_ that honor, having had a taste of being a seishi... this life he had led seemed ever more unclean. Were he anyone else, he'd have been executed for these crimes, but the Emperor had not even punished him for them. Bowing his head and feeling the prickle of tears in the back of his eyes, Nuriko said only, "Do your worst, my lords. I won't even deny that I deserve it."

The man in front of Nuriko sneered at his reluctance to fight and let loose a punch that landed right in the center of his stomach, knocking the wind out of him. His dress was torn as his knees buckled. Another punch landed in the center of his back, knocking him to the ground. He moaned quietly, then cut it off. He would not complain, he would not protest, he would not fight back. He deserved this. Doing nothing more to protect himself than to cover his head with his arms, he let the blows rain down.

After a time, Nuriko had no idea how much, a flare of red light caused him to look up. Even in his befuddled state, Nuriko would have recognized the feel of the ogre's chi. Tamahome had arrived. He took care of the three lords who had played the largest parts in this fiasco, then growled menacingly at those remaining. They were no fools and knew better than to tangle with one of the seishi when riled. They quit the scene as quickly as they could. Tamahome then knelt to help Nuriko sit up. Nuriko pulled away from him, shivering and trying vainly to pull together the torn remains of his dress. Tamahome brushed a lock of hair from his face, "Nuriko? Why didn't you fight back? With your strength, you could have taken them all on single-handed. Are you all right?"

Nuriko shook his head violently, holding his stomach with one hand. To his bitter shame, he felt that earlier prickle of tears shake loose and begin tracking their way down his face. Raising one hand to his mouth, he tried desperately to reign in the sobs. No... he was not all right. He didn't think he would _ever_ be all right again. He was perverted, dirty, unclean... and he had no honor. As a man, he was a complete failure and he could no longer be what his heart screamed that he was -- a woman. He had deserved that beating -- he deserved worse than that. He didn't deserve this gentle understanding, this extended hand of friendship, especially from yet another that he'd willfully hurt. He wanted to scream at the younger man not to get close, not to let Nuriko's shame rub off on him, but he was afraid to open his mouth... afraid that if he did, he would start screaming and be unable to stop.

Tamahome seemed to sense that Nuriko was incapable of answering and starting murmuring soothing nonsense to him as he approached. Nuriko felt a nearly hysterical giggle rising to fight with the tears. _Apparently all men think I'm some sort of easily spooked horse..._ Once he was close enough to do so, Tamahome eased an arm around Nuriko's shoulders and pulled the older seishi to rest against his warm chest. He began lightly stroking Nuriko's back and quietly telling him that it was all right. That was the final nail in the coffin of Nuriko's self control. He turned to the younger man, buried his face in that broad chest and burst into hysterical sobs.

* * *

Hotohori had not returned to his desk that day. Instead he had taken a long walk through the woods, trying to sort out his feelings -- his feelings over Miaka's leaving, Tamahome's obvious love for Miaka, Nuriko's true identity... and what he truly felt for the indigo-haired seishi. Were his motives as pure as he had thought them? Or was Nuriko right? Had he been leading the other man on with only the intent of hurting him later? There was so much to think about his head had begun to hurt. When he saw the sky begin to darken, he had reluctantly headed back to the palace, thoughts no better sorted than before.

A flare of red light made him turn his gaze to the left. That had to be one of his fellow seishi. He was not as adept as Nuriko at picking out the nuances of these feelings, but he thought it might be Tamahome. But why was the other man employing his seishi powers here? What threat could there possibly be? His heartbeat quickened and his hand clenched convulsively near his belt where his sword would be if he were wearing it. Well, no hope for it. This was his Court, perhaps his presence alone would be enough to dispel whatever situation he might find. He hastened towards that flare of energy. What he found when he arrived, however, surprised him. Tamahome, his aura having fading back down to normal levels, was lifting a battered and still Nuriko into his arms. Only this was Nuriko as they had always known him -- in full Court garb, as Lady Kourin. In spite of Nuriko's earlier promise, Hotohori felt an irrational fear seize his heart as he ran over. "What happened? Is he all right?" he blurted out.

Tamahome pulled the smaller seishi closer to his chest as he shook his head, "I'm not really sure. A gang of nobles was beating him up when I arrived. One of them said something about 'getting some of their own back'. I'm not really sure what happened, Hotohori-sama... but I know he was upset and I know he didn't even try to fight back. If he had, we'd be tending to them now, not him." He looked down at Nuriko's face, frowning.

Hotohori took a step closer, an equally confused frown on his own face. Not about what the lords had said -- that he understood all too well. After all, Lady Kourin had not been known for her kind and gentle nature... especially to the lords of the court. He'd felt her sting himself, all too often. No, what confused him was why Nuriko had not fought back against his attackers, and moreover, knowing that his secret was likely a secret no more, why had he even gone to take dinner with the Court? Why not wait and dine with them? The answer dawned on him in a flash of insight. Why had Nuriko risked his safety to dine with the Court? Because he was avoiding Hotohori. The Emperor felt a stab of guilt at that. In a way... he was responsible for this. He laid a gentle hand on Nuriko's head, _Why is it, that even when I want most to hate you... I can't?_ He looked up at Tamahome, "How badly is he injured? Will he be all right?"

Tamahome started to walk and the Emperor fell into step with him, "I don't really know, Hotohori-sama. I haven't really had a chance to look, but I don't think they did any major damage. He should be all right with a little rest." Tamahome, though sorry that Nuriko had gotten hurt, was almost glad for this distraction. His mind had been far too much on Miaka since her departure. He hadn't thought that he felt anything special for the girl before, had not believed her when she'd professed her love to him... but now, he wasn't so sure anymore. First when she'd gone missing, then when she'd been so injured and now that she was gone altogether... He missed the girl more than he'd thought he would. It was starting to depress him. And certainly Nuriko was no Miaka... but taking care of him would at least keep his mind off the other girl. He turned to the Emperor, surprised that he was still with them. Surely the man had more important things to do with his time? He offered the man a reassuring smile, "I'll see him safely back to his room, heika-sama. You should go eat."

Hotohori, for his part, was shocked to realize that he was being dismissed. He, the Emperor, was being dismissed! He opened his mouth to protest, then reconsidered. He could better serve his fellow seishi by finding and punishing the men who had done this. He would make sure that the entire court knew that the seishi were not to be treated with such disrespect, no matter their station in life. He nodded curtly and stalked off towards the dining room. His Court had an awful lot of explaining to do...

* * *

Nuriko woke slowly to a dull throbbing in his back and stomach. He was sore all over. He felt something cold and wet settle on his brow. He tried to shrink away from the touch, _I don't deserve this... Please go away, whoever you are..._ Reluctantly prying his eyes open, he found Tamahome sitting by his bedside and giving him a gentle smile, "Feeling any better?"

Nuriko put a hand to his head and removed the cold compress. He sat up and Tamahome moved to put a pillow behind his back. The younger seishi's eyes were concerned. Nuriko looked away, unable to bear the honest worry in those grey eyes. He answered in a harsh whisper, "Why did you interfere? I didn't need your help."

Tamahome frowned, "With all due respect, Nuriko, I think you did. They could have really done you harm! Is that what you wanted?"

A flinch for the bald truth in that outraged statement. Shrugging helplessly, Nuriko said, "It was no more than I deserved."

The younger man stared at him for a moment, then took both of his shoulders in his hands and shook him. Nuriko's gaze snapped up to meet his eyes, startled. Tamahome shook him again, for some reason more angry than was really appropriate, "No one deserves that kind of treatment. **No one**, Nuriko." It was wrong... this was all so very wrong. Lady Kourin had been confidant, haughty, self-righteous. Nuriko, stripped of his alter ego, seemed to have lost the few good qualities that said alter ego had possessed. He seemed adrift... lost. Tamahome felt a small stab of guilt. He and Hotohori-sama had known that, had seen it on the journey back, and had done nothing. A few words of reassurance, just one small kindness, could have shown Nuriko that he had their support. Instead... they'd thrown him to the wolves. Well, he was going to make sure, from now on, that Nuriko knew that he was safe with the other seishi. It was all he could do. Pulling the smaller man up against him, as he had earlier that night, he said, "You've done nothing wrong, Nuriko. Nothing at all. So, please, don't do anything like this again. Next time they corner you, fight back -- better yet, just don't let them corner you at all. Stay near me or Hotohori-sama if you have to."

Nuriko swallowed hard and made a helpless gesture with one of his hands, "But they were right, Tamahome. I did plenty wrong before. I was cruel, I was dishonest..." His voice dropped into a whisper, "There's something really wrong with me, Tamahome. I know that you all thought this was some great joke, but it wasn't... not to me. I can't just stop wearing dresses and start wearing pants and it will all change. In every way that matters, except one, I _am_ a woman. As a woman, I'm beautiful, I'm desired, I'm confidant. As a man..." His breath hitched, "As a man, I'm a failure. I'm a pervert. I have no honor." His voice rose into a pitiful wail, "They all hate me. The _Emperor_ hates me. I'm useless like this... What possible place can there be in this world for someone like me?"

Tamahome was shocked into silence by the raw pain in that outburst. And he was ashamed. Miaka had seen this. She had seen the desperate fear and loneliness that Nuriko was hiding from all others. She had seen it when Nuriko had been Lady Kourin, her tormentor. And she had known that this almost fragile, gentle soul was what lay underneath. Why had he and Hotohori not? He pulled the other seishi closer and began running a gentle hand through Nuriko's hair, "I don't hate you, Nuriko. The Emperor doesn't hate you, either. As for your place in this world... you're a seishi. Suzaku seishi Nuriko. _That_ is your place. However you choose to fill it, it is yours alone. Not many people are lucky enough to have that kind of certainty of purpose. And as for what the court lords think... Why should you care? They can't touch you if you don't wish it. You are far more important to this land than any 100 of them."

Nuriko leaned back and stared at him in shock, unable to process all that the younger man had said beyond that bit about he and the Emperor not hating him. Tamahome continued, "They look at me funny, too, you know. They always have, ever since I got here." At Nuriko's confused look, he smiled, "I don't know whether to be pleased or insulted that you've already forgotten. I'm a peasant boy, Nuriko. There is no noble blood running in my veins. My father is a poor farmer." His eyes darkened as he spoke, "My family wears clothing that is the next step up from rags and can barely afford the house they live in and the food they eat. The lords look down on me, as well. Does it look to you like it bothers me?"

Nuriko shook his head mutely, not having a ready answer for Tamahome's questions. Tamahome pulled back to look down into Nuriko's eyes, his own intense and serious, "Ignore those fools if you can and give them hell if you can't." Then he smiled, "What happened to the person that every lord and lady in this Court used to fear crossing?" At Nuriko's blush, Tamahome's smile widened, "You are still that person, Nuriko. You just have to find a different way to show it."

His heavy heart already feeling two tons lighter thanks to Tamahome's simple faith, Nuriko finally smiled, "Apparently, I don't deserve you, either, Tamahome-san... But just as I told Miaka, I think I'll keep you all the same. Thank you, my friend. For your caring, for your honesty... I won't soon forget."

Relieved to see Nuriko finally acting more like himself, Tamahome stood up, "Good. Don't." Before he could say another word, however, his stomach let out a rather loud grumble.

Nuriko laughed at the blush which quickly overtook the other's face, "Why don't you go get your dinner, Tamahome. I'll just wash up and then I'll join you." As the younger man left, Nuriko couldn't help the happy smile that refused to leave his face. It might not be perfect, and he might need to work on it, but finally, at long last, he felt like he had found a home.

* * *

Three months later, Nuriko was looking back on that day with what could only be termed longing. Looking out for Tamahome had become a full time job, leaving him with no time to cement the fragile start to his new almost-friendship with the Emperor. With no one to protect, and no Miaka around to love, Tamahome had withdrawn into himself, often hurting himself in the process. Nuriko had taken to following him around the palace as he wandered aimlessly, banging into walls and doors indiscriminately. A time or two, only Nuriko's inhuman strength had saved them both from falling down the stairs or off the high plateaus near the lake. Tamahome didn't even notice when he finished his own food, yet continued to plow through the numerous dishes on the table, often quite literally. Nuriko was surprised that he hadn't cracked any teeth with his new diet of fine china.

Hotohori was hurting, too, Nuriko could see it... but, he didn't dare broach the subject to the Emperor. He still didn't entirely trust the man's about-face when it came to his claims of suddenly desiring a friendship. How could he? It was hard to cast off a year's worth of history, after all. He was only barely tolerated at court as it was, and only because he was a Suzaku Seishi. Hotohori had banished the three lords responsible for his beating, and the others pretty much kept away from him these days, but he was far from welcome here and he knew it. Yet, between looking after Tama-chan and listening to Emi's incessant gossip, Nuriko managed to fool himself into being happy.

He was currently standing in front of his closet, trying to select a dress for the day, as Emi cleaned up the bathing room. He heard a knock at his door and called for the person to enter -- he had given only two people standing dispensation to come into his rooms without Emi having to clear it with him first, and as Tamahome had so eloquently told him those three months past, he was safe with both of his fellow seishi. Still, he was nearly startled out of his wits when he saw Tamahome, dressed for travel, standing uncertainly in the doorway. He gestured for the younger boy to enter and picked out a dress for the day. He had only worn men's clothes once or twice after that first time. He still wasn't totally comfortable in them. He slipped behind the dressing screen, pulling on his dress and waiting for Tamahome to speak. He didn't do so until Nuriko was back in front of the screen.

He smiled sadly up at Nuriko, "I want to thank you for looking out for me, Nuriko. You've been a true friend these past few months. I owe you a great debt."

Nuriko shook his head, "No, Tamahome-kun, you don't owe me anything. It was no more than any other friend would have done..."

Tamahome let out a bitter chuckle, "It was, Nuriko, and you well know it. I've been pretty out of it..." He shook his head to clear it, "But that isn't what I came to say. I-I can't stay here any longer. I need to earn money and I can't do that here at the Palace."

Nuriko's heart froze and then started to pound at those words. These months had only been tolerable because of Tamahome and Emi. For just as Tamahome had been lost without a Miaka to protect, Nuriko would have nothing with which to fill his days were it not for his having to look out for Tamahome. What would he do without the younger boy to look after? Before he could get too steeped in his own worries, however, he remembered what Tamahome had said about his family. He met Tamahome's eyes and the other boy nodded once. Nuriko bowed his head, "Then I will place no roadblocks in your path, Tamahome. I know how difficult these past months have been for you, and I know your family needs you more than I ever could. If you feel you need it, you have my blessing."

He heard Tamahome rise and walk towards him. He closed his eyes, not all that eager to see his friend leave, in spite of his brave words. Tamahome leaned down and pressed a light kiss to Nuriko's forehead, then he was gone. Nuriko leaned back against the wall and raised a hand to touch the spot that Tamahome had just kissed. He drew in a shaky breath and finished getting ready, wondering what he was going to do with himself for the rest of the day. He stared at himself in the mirror and frowned, slowly pulling off the dress. He grabbed his pants and tunic and put them on.

He watched himself in the mirror for a while, trying to look more masculine and failing miserably. He slumped in front of the mirror and heaved a big sigh. _I'll never look like a man..._ He heard soft footsteps behind him and turned to face Emi. She smiled at him and set to straightening his clothing. He chuckled at her fussing, "Chibi-kaasan..."

She smiled and hushed him, continuing to straighten his clothing. When she was finally satisfied, she nodded and stepped back. She grabbed Kourin's brush and fixed his hair back into the braid that he had worn the few other times when he had chosen to wear these clothes. She smiled at him and stepped back.

"What would I do without you, Emi-chan?" Nuriko said with a smile.

She smiled, "Undoubtedly, you would never have clean clothing or a neat appearance ever again." The twinkle in her eyes let Nuriko know that she was joking.

He gestured for her to sit down on the vanity chair, then took her hand in his, "I'm serious, Emi-chan. In all the time that you've served me -- especially in these past three months -- I don't know that I ever said thank you. I owe you more than that. Aside from the other seishi, you're the only person here who ever accepted me. I owe you a lot for that... More than I can ever repay."

Emi patted his hand lightly, "I know. And there is no need for you to repay me for it. I know you appreciate what I do for you and that is enough payment for me. I've come to care for you quite a lot over the past year and a half." She smiled, "If a servant may be so presumptuous as to say so, I have come to think of you as the sister I never had. It's enough."

Nuriko clasped her hand tightly and said quietly, "It seems that inexplicably these days, I am overly blessed with friends that I don't deserve. And what is being a 'servant' but the job you do? Do we define ourselves by our jobs or by who we are?" Looking earnestly into the older woman's eyes, he smiled, "I think I would rather be defined by who I am than what I do... and who _I_ am likes who _you_ are and would be honored to be thought of as your sister."

Emi's answering grin was all the benediction he needed. She raised a hand to pat lightly at his cheek, "Then I will think of you in that way from this day forward: as my beloved imouto." She lowered her hand and allowed her smile to turn impish, "And if you would take your beloved onee-san's advice, I would suggest that you go find Kechiko. After all, you are dressed fit to ride and should enjoy the day while us older folk clean up after you."

With a laugh and a willful smile, Nuriko stood up from the vanity, heart lighter than it had felt in years, "An excellent idea, Emi-neesan! I think I'll do just that..."

* * *

Hotohori looked up from his papers with weary resignation. The sound of Galaxy's clarion call had become a familiar one of late. Keen eyes searching the field, he finally spotted Galaxy's dark bulk with Nuriko on his back. Ever since Tamahome had left, Nuriko had been riding the poor stallion into the ground as though the horse could take the place of his lost friend. He shook his head lightly, thinking that he was almost glad that he was not outside with Nuriko and Galaxy in one of those moods. The hoof beats stopped just outside his office, and he could hear Nuriko swing down from Galaxy's saddle, nearly breathless with delight. He watched as the other seishi kissed Galaxy on the nose, telling him over and over what a wonderful, sweet boy he was. Galaxy melted under the praise, ears bent forwards to catch each syllable that Nuriko uttered. It was amazing how young the boy looked at times like this... how unguarded. It was still hard to believe that the earnest young man cooing to Kechiko's prized stallion was the same Lady Kourin who had so petrified his court all this last year and a half.

Finally, Nuriko looped Galaxy's reins over his head and left him to graze. He knocked lightly on Hotohori's outer door. The Emperor motioned for Nuriko to come in. Nuriko slipped inside the office and shut the door. He took a deep breath before turning to face the Emperor. It was almost endearing, how uncertain the feminine seishi looked. Hotohori gave him a patient smile, "Yes, Nuriko? What is it?"

Nuriko blurted out, "You know that Tama-chan left?"

Hotohori frowned, bemused by the non-sequitur. One thing was certain... even though the other seishi now spent less time as a woman, Nuriko had not lost one iota of his ability to be mysteriously incomprehensible. Taking the plunge, he fed the other man the straight line he was so obviously seeking, "I was aware, yes."

Nuriko lowered his gaze, "If it's not too much trouble, Hotohori-sama, I'd like to go home, as well..."

Hotohori frowned, still confused, "But I thought you said you were born in the city. You don't need my permission to-- " He trailed off when he saw Nuriko shaking his head, "Ah, I see. You'd like to visit your adoptive parents, you mean. Why?"

Nuriko looked back up at him and wrung his fingers, "I've been thinking, and... in light of everything that has happened, I think I should tell them the truth." Raising his eyes to meet the Emperor's, he added quietly, "I can't move on from this and live with the honor a seishi should have if I still have this lie and this debt sitting on my conscience."

Hotohori tapped a finger against his chin, "While I can understand that, Nuriko, to tell the truth, I would rather not have you both gone from the Palace at once. And the trip to your parents' estate is not a short one." He paused, then continued, "Also, I have the strangest feeling that I will need you here this week. Silly, I know, but I just... I don't know."

Nuriko took a step forwards as though with proximity he could change the Emperor's mind, "But- "

Hotohori shook his head, "How about a deal, hmm? If nothing happens within a week, you can go with my blessing." He held out his hand to shake Nuriko's.

Nuriko stared at it as if it were some sort of amazing creature. He grasped it gently but firmly and shook it once, seeming to revel in the feeling. He turned his eyes to meet Hotohori's, "I believe that to be more than fair, heika-sama. You have a deal." He reluctantly released the Emperor's hand and then stymied in his plans, left to go figure out what to do with himself for the rest of the week.

He returned Galaxy to the stable and thanked Kechiko, his mind still working furiously on the puzzle. He went back to his quarters and bathed, changing back into his dress and putting his hair up. He took his time, the Emperor's words making him want to look special for some reason. He put on his make-up and admired his reflection for a moment, feeling an excitement building within his being. After all, he had given both Tamahome and the Emperor lessons while they'd been here biding their time, and as a result, all three had become far more receptive to the nuances of spiritual energy than they had been. If the Emperor felt that something was going to happen... then something would happen. However, until such a time as the "something" revealed itself, they could do nothing more than wait.

He left his chambers, and with nothing else to guide him, found himself aimlessly wandering the palace hallways, feeling something like Tama-chan must have with Miaka gone. And so it was that when he caught a glimpse of a girl in a brown uniform he at first thought he must be hallucinating. But the feel of that other mind... now that he'd had it back in his once, he would not lose sight of it again. He raced to the outer hallway, heart singing from that moment's brief connection, and called out, "Miaka-chan??" The figure turned back to him and beamed him a dazzling smile, "Nuriko!"

With that smile, Nuriko felt his own heart lift off and take flight. Until that moment, he'd been unaware how deeply it had fallen. He grabbed his imouto's hands and jumped about with her, overjoyed beyond belief that the Emperor had been right. However, just as he was starting to get into the celebratory mood Miaka suddenly stopped and pulled a serious face, "Nuriko?"

Stunned by the abrupt mood change, he facefaulted, "Don't get serious on me all of a sudden!"

Miaka gave him an embarrassed little smile, before her face sobered once again, "Nuriko... where's Tamahome? I looked all over, but couldn't seem to find him anywhere."

Nuriko's heart went out to her at that plaintive query. Wrapping an arm around the girl's shoulders he pulled her close, knowing there was no way to sugarcoat what he was about to say. Walking her back towards his own rooms so they could at least have this conversation in private, Nuriko finally admitted, "Tamahome left several days ago. He said that he had to earn some money and couldn't do that here..."

She was righteously indignant when she heard this, and very upset that Tamahome hadn't had the faith to wait for her. She ranted on and on and finally nearly stormed out of Nuriko's room to leave the palace to find Tamahome herself. Nuriko lightly grabbed her arm, reluctant as always to turn his seishi strength on his miko and counting on his words to slow her impassioned flight, "Wait, wait! Miaka, for Suzaku's sake, wait!"

She scowled at him, but he held up a finger, "Just wait a moment, will you? Give me a moment to change and we'll go find him together, all right, Miaka?"

Latching on to the one thing that Nuriko had hoped she might miss, Miaka frowned, "Change?"

Nuriko shifted uncomfortably, "I've learned that I can't protect you very well in women's clothing..." Before she could respond, he had grabbed his tunic and pants and ducked behind the screen to show her what he could not easily explain in words. He redid his hair while still behind the screen, then took a deep breath and stepped out from behind it. It was somewhat anticlimactic, therefore, when he found Miaka ignoring him completely and instead absorbed in something that she'd found on his vanity. It was with no small amount of surprise that Miaka saw that it was Kourin's brush that had caught his miko's eye...

She had a delicate frown on her face, as if she were trying to remember something. She turned her face up to him and said, "Ne, Nuriko... have I seen this before?" He mutely shook his head and she turned back to studying the brush, "There's writing on the back, but I can't read the characters. What does it say?"

Nuriko took the brush from Miaka's hands and turned it over in his own. He knew those words by heart, but still felt the need to look upon them as he read them. Nearly choking on the words, he read quietly, "Wo ai ni, imouto. Happy Birthday. -Your niichan, Ryuuen..." Then finally getting his breathing firmly back under control, Nuriko handed the brush back to her.

Miaka frowned again, still going over the brush, then she paused and turned a questioning look at Nuriko. Understanding wordlessly what his miko wanted, he smiled, and took the brush from her. He undid the buns on her head and brushed out her hair, part of him barely believing what he was doing. Miaka leaned back into the brushstrokes, reminding him vaguely of Galaxy as she did so, though he knew as well as any girl that having one's hair brushed is one of the most relaxing and wonderful feelings in the world. When he was done, he tied her hair back up and patted her back. She smiled and put a hand to her hair, "So soft..."

Nuriko suddenly realized what he must do and why Taiitsu-kun had denied him the opportunity to bond closer to Miaka before she'd left. He had not been ready to take on that closeness. Seeking to have Kourin back in his life in whatever way he could, he had almost ignored the most important thing... that while Miaka _had_ been Kourin... Miaka was not _now_ Kourin. In order to have Miaka in his life now, he would have to start letting go of the past and embrace the future. And this small piece of it could be the bridge. He pushed the brush back into her hands, "Miaka-chan, I want you to have it." She protested, arguing that it was his brush and whoever gave it to him must have loved him a whole lot to write such a nice message. He nearly burst out laughing at her words. After all, he had been the gift-giver and she the receiver! He smiled, "It's all right, Miaka-chan, I want you to have it. Really. Please... It would mean a lot."

Miaka looked up at him at that last, a puzzled look on her face. Nuriko blushed, caught without a ready explanation. Well, maybe he couldn't give her all of it... but he could give her a piece of the truth, just the same, "I-I just want you to have something of mine... Something for you to have in case you have to leave again."

Miaka smiled and cradled the brush to her chest, finally accepting the gift. She reached up and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. With a bittersweet smile, Nuriko recognized the gesture as one a sister might give, "Thank you, Nuriko... I'll treasure it." She pulled back then, finally taking a closer look at him. Her eyes went all starry and she let out a shriek of delight, "Oh my G-d! Nuriko... I can't believe it! You're _good_ looking as a guy!" Nuriko flushed a brilliant shade of scarlet as Miaka dragged him down the hall to the Emperor's throne room.

* * *

Hotohori looked on in amusement as Miaka hung all over a very embarrassed Nuriko. The other seishi obviously wasn't used to being fawned over by a woman and Hotohori found it very funny to see the table turned on him like it was. When Miaka made her request, he watched Nuriko's face. There was such a fierce look in his eyes... As if he would kill anything that dared to threaten Miaka. Even Tamahome's eyes hadn't looked so fiercely determined when protecting his love. Hotohori had to wonder at Nuriko's motives... But one thing was certain, Nuriko would keep Miaka safe or die trying -- whatever the reason. Quite a turn-a-round from his earlier attitude... He gave them permission to go, and gave them the Suzaku no Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho as added insurance. Silently he begged Nuriko to keep Miaka safe, since he could not.

Once they had permission, Nuriko and Miaka left the palace with as little fanfare as they could manage. Traveling with only the two of them, they would be safer in anonymity. Nuriko mounted the gelding they had been given, then reached down to lift Miaka into place behind him. She wrapped her arms securely about his waist, pressing her small body into his back. Nuriko's heart started beating a little too rapidly. It was hard to believe, even after having three months to process the idea, that he really had his imouto back... And now he would have this entire journey alone with her! In a way, it was like being able to fulfill a promise to his sister that had sat too long unkept -- his promise to take her on adventures with him when he grew to be a seishi. It was nothing like he'd imagined it would be... but in some ways, it was better. He kicked the horse into a canter, eager to be on their way.

After several minutes passed with no words from Miaka, Nuriko grew worried. It wasn't like Miaka to be so still, so quiet. In that regard, they were very alike. But Nuriko knew from past experience that if he broached the subject with her directly, Miaka was simply turn on her considerable charm and try to divert him from discovering whatever it was that was bothering her. Maybe there was another way. Maybe if he listened, he would be able to hear his miko's thoughts as he had that day he'd almost lost her... Bringing his senses to bear on the silence that sat uneasily behind him, his patience was soon rewarded.

~What if he really doesn't love me? Maybe that's why he left...~ Nuriko knew that it was Miaka's thoughts he was hearing -- they could belong to no one else. Stung by the pain and anxiety he could clearly hear in his miko's thoughts, he could not just leave it at that. He spoke up quietly, his voice sounding deeper than it had in years, "Miaka-chan, you should have seen Tama-chan when you were gone! He was so distracted and depressed. He walked into walls and even ate plates! He was completely gone. Because he missed you, Miaka-chan. He loves you... he just doesn't know how to show it, yet."

Miaka didn't respond, but the tightening of her arms around his waist convinced Nuriko that his words had eased her worries. He hadn't had long to savor his victory, however, when the sky began to darken around them. Reminded too forcefully of the last time that had happened, Nuriko urged the horse on faster, not wanting to be caught by whatever darkness seemed to be massing in the shadows of the forest. Suddenly his horse reared up and Miaka fell to the ground. He fought with the rearing horse, trying desperately to calm him so he wouldn't trample Miaka, all the while scenes of Kourin's first death fluttered through his thoughts. When the horse was finally under control, he leaned over, terrified that he had been too late getting the gelding calmed, "Miaka! Are you all right??" Before she could respond, they were surrounded. The horse's reins were grabbed and Nuriko was pulled roughly from the saddle.

A figure wielding a scythe walked slowly towards Miaka, his figure cloaked in shadows. Nuriko remembered hearing rumors of assassins hired to kill Suzaku no Miko and hurriedly shrugged off his captors to rush to Miaka's side. He should have learned his lesson after his first solo journey! Better to move more slowly and have a full escort, hell, a whole **army**. Damn it! Before he got to her, however, the menacing figure dropped his weapon and Miaka flew into his arms. It took a moment for understanding to filter through, then with a sigh of relief, Nuriko recognized Tamahome. There was a fleeting stab of jealousy when he saw how happy Miaka was to see the other seishi, but he quickly shook it off. He had no right to be jealous. Then Tamahome eyes tracked towards him and his face alit with genuine joy at the sight of the older seishi. He gave Nuriko a broad smile and the feminine seishi could feel his face flush at the open warmth in that gaze.

Tamahome introduced them to the group of people he was defending. He'd not had time to tell Tamahome that they had been traveling less than openly, but realized with relief that the younger boy had only told the leader of the group of men with him that Miaka was Suzaku no miko. But how then would Nuriko be explained...?

Tamahome didn't give him long to wonder as he slapped the older boy's back and proclaimed, "And this guy's gay!"

Nuriko's face went white, then red and he advanced on Tamahome to give him a good, hard whack on the head, "Tama-chan!" Even though he feared that the words were more true than the other seishi knew, that didn't mean he wanted it spread around any further than it had been already!

With an apologetic smile, Tamahome amended his statement, "No really, he's a Suzaku Seishi -- Nuriko."

Nuriko nodded in satisfaction. That was better. But, before he could really have time to celebrate his "victory" he heard Miaka cry out, too late for him to do anything. A pair of arms pulled her from the clearing and Tamahome gave chase. Nuriko was about to do the same when he saw a flash of light out of the corner of his eye. He turned and...

Sweet Suzaku!! He was thrown back against a tree by the wind of several heavy arrows and barely managed to pull all his limbs out of the way of the rest. He squeezed his eyes shut, almost not wanting to know if he'd lost something important to the arrows and unable to feel any pain past the adrenaline surging through his system. He peeled an eye open and looked down at himself. There was no damage, sure, but it had been awfully close!

He heard a gasp behind him and lowered his leg from the awkward position it was in. His eyes took in the carnage around him with a heavy heart. Not everyone had been as lucky as he. Eyeing the pools of gore surrounding him, Nuriko fought the urge to throw up. Everyone was dead. Everyone. He heard Tamahome and Miaka's frantic questions as they returned and answered as best he could. He pulled an arrow from the trunk near his head and snapped it in two. Assassins. It had to be. After Miaka. He was grateful that whoever it was had pulled her out of the clearing before they had gotten to her. He didn't know what he would have done if she had been killed... again.

Tamahome led them back to the town to tell the people of the things that they had seen, and the awful fate which had befallen their brothers. Nuriko pulled Miaka into the safe circle of his arms as Tamahome told the sad tale. She leaned into his embrace, burying her face in his chest. He kissed the top of her head and held her closer.

Having lost track of time as he held his imouto in his arms, the hand that descended onto his shoulder caused him to jump slightly. It was only Tamahome. The younger boy glanced at Miaka, who was all but asleep in Nuriko's arms. A look of tender affection crossed his features and he held out his arms to lift Miaka into them. He was therefore extremely startled when he met with resistance. He lifted an eyebrow at the older seishi, "Nuriko? We should put her to sleep..."

Instead of handing over Miaka like Tamahome expected him to do, Nuriko lifted her into his arms, cradling her small body against his chest. He wasn't ready to let her go... not yet. But Tamahome was right -- she should be in a bed. Nuriko nodded, "Show me the way."

Tamahome frowned, but did so. What was with Nuriko? Of all people, Nuriko knew how deeply he cared for Miaka and the last he'd checked, Nuriko liked men, specifically a certain Emperor. When had he decided that he was straight? Tamahome felt a surge of jealousy well up in his being, but quashed it. Nuriko had been a dear friend to him while Miaka had been gone. He wouldn't do something that would wreck that friendship... would he? He pointed Nuriko towards the room they would share and made some excuse to go outside so he could watch from the window.

He was extremely startled at what he saw. Nuriko laid Miaka down on the bed and tugged off her clothes, pulling on her pajamas with the ease of long familiarity. He tucked her into the covers and sat watching her with a tender smile on his face. He gently brushed Miaka's bangs off of her face and placed a small kiss on her forehead. Tamahome resisted the urge to throw open the door and demand to know what was going on. It was painfully obvious what was going on! Nuriko was after his beloved! He clenched his fists at his side. One thing was for certain, though -- he and Nuriko were going to have a long talk about this...

* * *

Nuriko stared down at Miaka, a sweet smile on his face at her quiet snoring. He brushed her bangs out of her eyes and pressed a light kiss to her brow. "Imouto-chan... You have no idea what it means to me to have you here and safe, to have you back where I can, once again, watch over you. I love you..." He pressed another light kiss to each of Miaka's cheeks and one to the tip of her upturned nose, then slowly stood, still watching Miaka's sleeping form. He counted each rise and fall of her chest, each precious breath, as if it were the most marvelous thing in the world. And perhaps it was...

Reluctantly, Nuriko walked away from the bed to go find his pack. He was startled by a growl from behind him. He spun to find Tamahome watching him with fire in his eyes. His own eyes widened in response, _He looks like he's ready to kill me!_ He backed up a pace from the look in Tamahome's eyes. Tamahome growled again, "Outside, please? I want to talk to you..." With that last comment, he stalked away.

Nuriko swallowed heavily, knees shaking slightly. Where the hell had _that_ come from and what was the matter with that stupid boy? He was acting, for all the world, like some kind of, of... Oh dear. Like some kind of jealous lover. He glanced in Miaka's direction as he walked towards the door. _And how the hell do I explain this one without sounding completely insane?_

Reaching the low porch, Nuriko quickly spotted the other seishi. Tamahome was gripping the wooden rail so tightly that it creaked. He didn't look all too happy... Warily, Nuriko approached the still and silent figure, "Tama-chan...? What's the matter?"

Tamahome rounded on him, slamming him back into the railing, "What's the matter?? How dare you ask me that! I see you fawning all over the woman I love and you ask me what's the matter?? I trusted you, Nuriko! But perhaps I shouldn't have! Sliding into my good graces just to steal Miaka out from under me... wasn't the Emperor enough for you?"

* * *

With a curse, Tamahome quickly decided that the shock and betrayal in the other boy's eyes couldn't be fake. He let up a little when Nuriko started to shake slightly. The older boy's mouth opened once or twice, finally producing a small whimper. He hung his head, his voice quiet, "Nothing I say will convince you otherwise, will it? You've already made up your mind that I could betray you like that. I suppose that I don't deserve your trust... but all the same, I thought I had it." His eyes when they finally rose from their lowered position, were extremely sad.

Tamahome stepped back a couple of feet. "I'm willing to listen to an explanation, if you have one." He thought he was being more than generous.

Nuriko snorted, shaking his head, slowly, "Not one that you would believe, Tamahome-kun." He turned, facing the forest, eyes gazing up at the stars. "Would it satisfy you to know that I look on Miaka as a sister and nothing more? Is that enough of an explanation?"

Tamahome walked over to stand next to him, though not quite willing to meet his eyes, yet. "Do you mean that? Really mean it?"

Nuriko nodded, "I do. Miaka means more to me than my own life, but I can't tell you why. It wouldn't be right. But believe me when I tell you that I would never get between you. She means too much to me to ruin her happiness that way. You, as well, Tamahome... you're one of the only friends I have. That friendship is also very important to me and having lived without its like for far too long, I would not betray it."

Tamahome let out a breath, "All right. If that's all that there is to this, then I apologize for misunderstanding your intentions."

Nuriko turned to go back inside, whispering, "Take care of her Tamahome-kun. In case some day, I can not." With those cryptic words, Nuriko went back to their room to go to sleep, leaving Tamahome feeling almost bruised by the conversation. Like so many things involving the feminine seishi, there was clearly more to this situation than met the eye. But just as surely as he knew that, Tamahome also knew that he would get no further explanation out of the older seishi. He would just have to bide his time... and wait.

* * *

**A/N:**

And now for some chibi silliness!

Nuriko: Well... I _think_ it's an improvement... I'm not sure I can tell anymore.

Berger: *sweatdrop* It's an improvement. Trust me.

Claude: Yeah, take it from us. We should know.

Tasuki: *twitch* Who the hell are they?

Nuriko: *sigh* *patpats the Tasuki* Claude and Berger -- new fic chibis. I think Renee-chan is almost as obsessed with them as she is with me these days. Ironically enough... I find I don't mind.

Tasuki: Well... if you're sure...

Nuriko: I am, except that at this rate, they'll get sex before we will.

Tasuki: *splutters*

Renee-chan: *furious blushing* Who said anything about _anyone_ getting sex???

Nuriko: *twitch* OKNevermind.

Berger: *blinkblinks* What?

Nuriko: *stage whispers* **Never** piss off the fic author. **Ever**. Trust me.


	4. Chapter 4

**_April 6, 2010:_** Good grief, this was the worst one yet, I think. This was almost painful to rewrite. It didn't help that I decided that I actually needed to write out that scene that I skipped last time -- with Miaka and Nuriko meeting Tamahome's family. It just did _not_ want to be written. Thank goodness this is done. O_O I don't think any of the other parts are nearly this bad -- they should be at least half-salvageable, if not more. Thanks for sticking with me this long and do remember... comments are love! ^_^

Still obsessing over Hair, but at least I got another part of OB done before churning out yet more ficcage for it, right? ^_^

Huge thanks, again, to Yanagi-sen for beta-reading! ^_^

**Fandom:** Fushigi Yuugi  
**Pairing:** Tasuki x Nuriko, hints of Nuriko + Hotohori  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Word Count:** This part -- 15,291. Initial count, 8,359. O_O Good grief. Again.  
**Warnings:** Slash. Not mine. Don't sue.

**Summary:** "They took you in when you had nothing. They gave you a life you could be proud of. They gave you the opportunity to make something of yourself. Now that this chance has come, accepting it is the only way you can repay them." So begins Nuriko's journey to the capital of Konan. What awaits her on her travels, the people she will meet and the things she will learn about herself, they will change her life forever.

* * *

**Osozaki Blooms -- Chapter 4**  
**_ by Renee-chan_**

Nuriko suppressed yet another sigh. It had been bad enough that it had taken him all night to fall into a fitful slumber, but to be awoken mere minutes after finally tumbling into that much needed rest? That was adding insult to injury. And for what? Apparently Tamahome had snuck out of the village early this morning and Miaka, bless her curious heart, just _had_ to know where he'd gone. It was ridiculous. What they _should_ have all done was gotten a good night's rest and started back to the Palace as soon as they were able. Now that there were confirmed assassins out for the Suzaku no miko's blood, it wasn't safe to go traipsing around the country with only two of her seishi as protectors. It was the very height of insanity. Damn Tamahome for putting them in this position!

After riding for nearly an hour, they finally caught up with the wandering seishi. He'd stopped in a small village not so very different than the one they'd left. Could it be he was hoping to pull the same scam here as he had done there? No... no, something was different. Nuriko watched as several of the people in the streets stopped the younger seishi with a pat on the leg or a broad smile and were each answered by a grin just as broad. Tamahome knew these people and they knew him. That clinched it. He breathed it out quietly, "This must be Tamahome's home village..."

Miaka jerked behind him with an excited little squeal, "His... his home village? Where Tamahome was born and raised?" There was a pause, then another breathy squeal, "For some reason, I'm so happy, Nuriko!"

In spite of the gravity of their situation and the fact that Nuriko wished they were anywhere but where they were, he couldn't help but feel a small answering glow of happiness at the joy in his miko's voice. She really had it bad. Dismounting, Nuriko helped her down so they could more easily follow Tamahome. And it was with more than a little trepidation that he did so. _He_ knew what they would find at Tamahome's home, even if Miaka did not. ~_My family wears clothing that is the next step up from rags and can barely afford the home they live in and the food they eat,_~ was what Tamahome had said. It was too late by far to prevent Miaka from seeing it. With any luck, it wouldn't matter.

By the time they reached the -- dear gods, the best word he could come up with to describe that shack was 'hovel' and that was being kind -- Tamahome had already gone inside. Miaka pulled him down to sit under the window to eavesdrop. Stupid on top of stupid -- why not just knock on the door and let Tamahome know they were here? She couldn't possibly hope to slip away unnoticed after this, could she? And so they sat and they listened to the gentle argument between Tamahome and his apparently ill father and then the even gentler argument between Tamahome and his baby sister. Nuriko caught in a breath in shared pain when the younger boy's answer to the little girl made his voice crack. In need of reassurance himself, Nuriko slid an arm around Miaka and pulled her close to his side. She nestled against him, such a warm, comforting presence that he didn't have the words to express how grateful he was to have her back again.

Suddenly, a terrified shout from Tamahome jerked them both upright. Miaka was over the windowsill and into the house with Nuriko not a split second behind her. At once they both demanded, "What's wrong with her??"

If the situation weren't so frightening, Nuriko would have laughed at the expression on Tamahome's face. He stuttered out, "She just collapsed!"

Miaka pulled the little girl out of Tamahome's arms and put a hand to her forehead, then turned to look at Nuriko, "She's running a fever!"

Nuriko nodded, "I'm not surprised. It was probably from the stress of the idea of Tamahome leaving, again. She's clearly very attached to him." And if that was a little harsh... well, so be it. It wasn't all that long ago that their miko had suffered a similar ailment due to Tamahome's carelessness with _her_ emotions. Nuriko still hadn't quite forgiven him.

Miaka started ordering around Tamahome's other young siblings to get extra blankets and some water. Of course -- they could sweat the fever out. But there was something better. He turned to Tamahome, "Tamahome, are there any white willow trees nearby?"

Tamahome shook his head, "Not that I know of, no. Why?"

"Damn," Nuriko swore. "We could have brewed a tea from the bark to help bring her fever down."

Miaka piped up from where she was crouched over Yuiren, "Ah! I have a better idea! Nuriko, could you get my bag from the horse?"

Once Nuriko had done so, Miaka pulled out a small vial of round objects that looked like stone pellets. He couldn't figure out what they might be for. Seeing his confusion, Miaka explained, "It's called aspirin. You take it for pain, but it also reduces fever! I just... I don't know how much to give her and too much might hurt her." Her face took on a fretful cast.

Putting a gentle hand on her shoulder, Nuriko asked, "How much would you take, if it were you?"

Miaka shook two of the little pills into her hand, "This much."

Looking back and forth between Miaka and the little girl, Nuriko finally took one of the pills and broke it in half, "We'll try this much then. If it doesn't work, we can give her the other half."

It didn't come to that. Within 10 minutes of taking the half pill, Yuiren's breathing evened out and deepened into that of a true sleep, rather than the fitful fever that she'd been in moments before. Everyone in the house breathed out a sigh of relief at that. Nuriko resolved to pull Tamahome aside at some future moment and have a long talk with him about how to treat a woman, even one so young as Yuiren. When Miaka volunteered to go get some more water for the girl _would_ have been a perfect time to do so... but something felt wrong.

Mere seconds after Miaka was out the door, Nuriko put a hand on Tamahome's arm, "Tamahome... go after her." The young man looked like he was about to protest and Nuriko growled out, "Do I have to remind you that just last night we were attacked by assassins bent on her death? You're her seishi and her bodyguard. **Act** like it." Fortunately, he didn't need any further reminding. Nuriko would have like to follow their miko himself, but one of them had to stay behind and watch over Tamahome's family and if something else went wrong with Yuiren, Tamahome would be useless... and worse, would be distracted. It was better this way. It was better... Damn it. That didn't mean he had to like it.

With Tamahome and Miaka gone and the immediate crisis past, Nuriko finally became aware of the awkward atmosphere. No doubt, Tamahome's father was embarrassed for people to see himself and his family in such a state. As he delicately resettled the blankets around little Yuiren, Nuriko struggled to think of something to say that wouldn't make the situation any more awkward than it already was. Ironically enough, it was little Shunkei who eventually broke the silence with this timid question, "Lady... are you a seishi, like 'niichan?"

If it weren't so sad, Nuriko might well have laughed at that question. Apparently, he wasn't the only one to think he still looked like a girl even dressed as a man. Putting a gentle hand on the boy's head, Nuriko smiled, "I am, little one. My name is Nuriko."

The boy stepped closer, fisting his hand in Nuriko's sleeve, "Then... if Suzaku no miko has you, could 'niichan come home?" The boy then blushed and ducked his head, "'Cuz Yuiren-chan and Gyokuran-neesan miss him. They miss him real bad."

Nuriko pulled the boy into a gentle embrace, "I'm sure you all do, Shunkei-chan. Keeping Suzaku no miko safe is a very important job, but it doesn't mean that Tamahome loves you any less. In fact, he shows how much he loves you by _doing_ his job." At the children's confused looks, Nuriko smiled softly at them, "You see, Kutou is a threat to all of us. They want to start a war with Konan that would put us all in danger. Suzaku no miko is going to keep us all safe should that occur and grant us prosperity if it doesn't."

Chuuei stepped in next, face screwed up in a little moue of concentration, "So... what you're saying is that by keeping Suzaku no miko safe, he's keeping _us_ safe? And that's why he has to stay away?"

Nuriko lifted a hand and patted the boy on the shoulder, "That's exactly right, Chuuei-san. I wish I could tell you differently, but I can't. Suzaku no miko is very important and right now she's in danger..." Nuriko's voice trailed off as his eyes unfocused. There was something... Oh great Suzaku! Miaka was in danger **right now**. Leaping to his feet, heart thundering in his chest, he desperately reached out his senses. There were two... two! Tamahome might not be able to handle them both alone!

Just before he could run out the door, Gyokuran let out a cry, "Where are you going, Nuriko-san?"

Biting off a curse, Nuriko turned to look back at the children. He couldn't leave them... _Damn_ it. He couldn't leave Tamahome's family alone, not when there were assassins around. Holding up a hand for silence, Nuriko stretched out his senses again. There! That presence... His eyes widened as he sensed a powerful chi radiating from Miaka's location. It wasn't Miaka. It wasn't Tamahome... but it _was_ coming form a Suzaku seishi. That was all he needed to know.

Turning back to the children, Nuriko herded them into a group clustered around Tamahome's father and little sister. He would have to trust the other two seishi to look after Miaka, because he couldn't afford to be distracted right now. One of the two assassins he'd sensed was approaching this home... and rapidly.

After several desperate heartbeats and spending some of his precious concentration to reassure the now crying children, Nuriko's diligence was rewarded. _There._ It was only a flicker, but it was all he needed to feel. Making a hard decision, Nuriko grabbed Yuiren and Shunkei and bolted out of the way of the incoming ropes.

Realizing that he had only caught three in his web and none of them were the seishi he'd been aiming for, the assassin finally showed himself. They engaged in a few more pointless exchanges -- the assassin sending out more entrapping strands and Nuriko barely evading them -- before Nuriko had to make another hard decision. As he darted around the room, he pulled Shunkei close to him and said, "Little one, I need you to be brave for me. I can't stay away from this man indefinitely and I need my hands free to attack in return. I'm going to put you and your sister down. He's probably going to catch you once I do, but I promise I'll have you free again soon, OK?" Though clearly terrified, the boy nodded. Racing back to the bed, Nuriko deposited the two children as carefully as he could. As predicted, mere moments later, the assassin let out an arrogant laugh and strung them up, as well. To his credit, though, the boy didn't cry.

Nuriko growled low in his throat as he started gathering his chi and turned back to the assassin, "That's the last laugh you'll have at my expense. Enjoy it while it lasts."

The assassin flung another rope in Nuriko's direction and the purple-haired seishi caught it with a smile of triumph. Giving it a savage yank, he pulled the larger man off balance and straight into his waiting hands. Using the rope, he quickly bound the assassin's hands and feet, then debated whether he should question the man now or take down Tamahome's family first. Shunkei's soft whimper decided him. Breaking his and Yuiren's bonds first, he gave them a brief hug and kissed Shunkei on the forehead, "I'm so proud of you, Shunkei-san. You were very brave. Now I need you to be brave for just a little longer as I get your father and Chuuei and Gyokuran down." The little boy nodded and pulled his sister to him in a fierce embrace. Seeing the boy protectively clutching his sister and glaring at the assassin brought a small smile to his face.

Just as he was breaking down the last of the ropes, Tamahome, Miaka and the owner of the strong chi he'd felt earlier came running up to the house. Nuriko turned a wry smile on the trio, "That sure took you long enough. I'd have waited for you, but you know how rude it is to leave a guest unattended."

The smiling man stepped forward, "I'm impressed, Nuriko-san. Tamahome-kun needed my help to protect Suzaku no miko, no da. You're very strong, no da!"

As Tamahome spluttered in response to the man's teasing, Nuriko's smile took on an edge, "As are you, sou-san. Ne?" Tossing a glance in Miaka's direction, he asked coyly, "Have you checked the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho lately, Miaka-chan? I'll bet you'll find something interesting if you do..."

Miaka's eyes widened, "Sou-san? He's a monk?" Turning her gaze on the smiling man in front of her, she said, "The Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho said the clues to find the next seishi are 'monk' and 'mask'. You... Kitsune-san are you a Suzaku shichi-seishi?"

Nuriko had the sudden impression that the man's thoughts had turned serious, but couldn't tell from the lack of expression on his face. He said, "Yes, Suzaku no miko. I am a Suzaku seishi. My name is Chichiri, no da."

Smiling in satisfaction, Nuriko patted Miaka's shoulder, "Isn't that wonderful, Miaka? We found another one!"

However, rather than looking pleased, Miaka looked distracted, almost upset. Without a word for Nuriko, she stood and walked over to where Nuriko had left the unsuccessful assassin. Nuriko immediately flew to her side, not wanting to take any unnecessary risks, even with the man bound as he was. The girl stopped right in front of the hired killer and asked in a plaintive voice, "Why would you attack innocent people? If you wanted to kill me, why not come after _me_?"

The man sneered, "Kill you or cripple you now so that I can kill you later... what's the difference? We'll get you in the end either way."

Ears catching on one very important word, Nuriko pushed Miaka behind him and grabbed the assassin by the collar, "We? How many of you bastards are there? How many assassins has Kutou sent into Konan?" Shaking the man forcibly, he demanded, "Tell me!"

Before the man could answer, however, Nuriko again caught that flash of an evil presence. Though he cursed himself for it later, he reacted without thinking and swung the man around to use him as a shield between them and whatever he'd felt. Seconds later, the man was a veritable pincushion of arrows. The man smiled a bitter smile and a breathy laugh bubbled forth from his lips, "Looks... like... I'll have... one... last laugh... at your expense... Suzaku seishi. When we find... Seiryuu no miko... you'll all die." And with those last words... he was gone.

Nuriko flung the corpse to the ground and exploded with, "_Damn_ it! What the hell was he babbling about at the end? _Seiryuu_ no miko?" Turning his eyes towards the newest member of their group, he asked, "What did he mean by that?"

Again, Nuriko got the impression that the monk had assumed a serious expression, though his face didn't change, "I've heard stories as I traveled... There are legends similar to that of Suzaku no miko in all of the four lands. That must be what he was speaking of." Shaking his head, he continued, "This could be very bad. If Kutou finds Seiryuu no miko and summons Seiryuu, then it may be that not even Suzaku no miko could protect us."

Nuriko frowned, "But, if one assumes that Seiryuu no miko would have to be from Miaka's world, as well..." He shrugged, "It isn't as though girls like that just drop out of the sky every fourth day, you know."

During his little speech, Nuriko got a sudden flash of emotion from Miaka. Something that he'd said had caused her to become extremely alarmed. But what? Abruptly the girl turned away and clutched her bag to her chest, "I... I just remembered, I have to go somewhere!"

Nuriko and Tamahome immediately clustered around her. Nuriko asked the question, "Where do you have to go, Miaka? We'll go anywhere you need to."

Miaka froze, then shook herself and forcefully answered, "To the bathroom!"

Tamahome flushed hotly and clapped a hand over his nose. Nuriko put a hand to his head and sighed, "Well... except _there_." Waving her to the door, he added, "But be quick about it, Miaka. Chichiri-san may not have sensed any other assassins around, but that doesn't mean its safe." Figuring that the girl just wanted a few minutes alone to pull herself together after their recent scare, Nuriko tried not to call any attention to the agitated state he was picking up from his beloved imouto. She'd be fine... he hoped.

Ten minutes later, Nuriko was ready to kick himself for those irresponsible thoughts. What had he been thinking? Letting Miaka wander around here alone when there were assassins about -- it was the height of stupidity! Standing up from the table they'd been clustered around, he started to pace, growing more agitated with each passing second, "Something isn't right. Something's _wrong_. I can feel it." Meeting Tamahome and Chichiri's eyes in turn, he demanded, "Something upset her. We were talking and something got her upset. Do either of you know what it might have been?"

Chichiri frowned in thought, and then slowly said, "There might be something, na no da." Looking up at Nuriko, he continued, "When you made that comment about girls dropping from the sky -- I think that was when she became upset, no da."

Abruptly, Tamahome jerked out of his seat, "That's it! When Miaka first came here, there was another girl with her, dressed exactly the same!"

Nuriko and Chichiri looked at each other, the same horrified realization in both gazes. Nuriko was the one who said it, "If that other girl somehow came back..."

Chichiri continued the thought, "...and Miaka just learned that Kutou is looking from another girl from her world, no da..."

Tamahome almost fell back into his seat as he completed the thought in a harsh whisper, "...Miaka's gone to Kutou to try to find her." He abruptly stood back up, "No! I won't let her! I lost her once; I couldn't bear to lose her again!" Defiance and determination suffusing his features, Tamahome only paused long enough to ask the others to look out for his family and then he was out the door and down the road.

Nuriko made as though to go after him, but Chichiri pulled out his hat and said brightly, "Well, I'll just go check on her, then, na no da!" He then had the nerve to disappear _into the damned hat_.

Nuriko nearly screamed in frustration. He couldn't leave Tamahome's family unprotected, but he _needed_ to protect his imouto! _Damn_ Tamahome and Chichiri for putting him in this position! When they got back he was going to pound them into the dirt! Fuming, Nuriko sat back down on the bench and stared off into the setting sun, silently urging Miaka not to do anything stupid, _Please, Miaka... I need you safe. I need you to come back to me. Please... please come back to me._

* * *

When Tamahome finally returned that evening, Nuriko was ready to shake him until his neck snapped. Practically hissing in his fury, he grabbed the younger boy by the collar and pulled him in close, "What the hell are you doing back so late and _without Miaka_?"

Tamahome paled, "She... I found her in the forest. She said that she was too hungry to move and asked me to get the bag of candy she left on your horse. Nuriko, she **promised**."

Nuriko's mouth dropped open in shock. He slumped, though his hands tightened in Tamahome's clothing. His next words were a growl, "And so you left her... _alone_... in the **forest**?? Are you a fool, Tamahome? Even if she wasn't lying to you, even if she hasn't used this as a tool to distract you, what makes you think that she's safe where you left her?"

Feeling the younger boy's breath catch, Nuriko looked up just in time to see his face pale further. Abruptly, Tamahome tore out of his hands and leapt up onto his horse, "Nuriko, I have to go get her. There was no bag of candy. She _lied_ to me. She has too much of a head start already. _Please_. I have to go after her."

No! That was the last thing Nuriko wanted. He was smaller, he was a better horseman and Miaka was his sister... _his_. Raising his eyes and opening his mouth to protest, Nuriko abruptly froze. That look on Tamahome's face... it was what he'd hoped to see for all these months. He was in love with Miaka and, more importantly, now he knew it. So rather than demanding, Nuriko only asked one soft question, "What about your family, Tamahome?"

For just a moment, he looked torn, and then the determination in his eyes firmed, "Nuriko... for the first time, I think that I've found someone more important to me than my family. I _need_ to go to her." Head dropping, his voice suddenly get very small, "Does... does that make me a bad person, Nuriko?"

Finally admitting defeat, Nuriko shook his head, "No, it doesn't." Swallowing any other objections, Nuriko waved him on, "Go, then Tamahome. I'll tell the Emperor what's happened. Go." Silently, he added, _Please, go... before I change my mind, throw you from that horse and go myself._ Giving Nuriko a nod of gratitude, Tamahome didn't waste one more moment in fleeing the scene. As the older seishi watched him go, he felt a momentary pang -- would _he_ ever find someone he loved more than family... more than Miaka? And would he _want_ to? Shaking his head at his own foolishness, he took his leave of Tamahome's family so he could begin the long trek back to Eiyo.

* * *

"She did **what**??" the Emperor exploded, eyes wild and chest heaving, face suffused with horror.

Nuriko cringed, wilting under that horrible anger. It was understandable, it was _more_ than understandable. After all, Nuriko felt the same way. He'd hoped, maybe irrationally so, that Tamahome would have caught up to Miaka and beaten him back here, thus sparing him the need for this public and humiliating confrontation. Since that obviously hadn't happened, the only hope Nuriko had left was that Chichiri-san had kept his promise and had, in fact, gone after the pair. As long as she had the powerful monk looking out for her, Miaka was probably safe. Probably... Taking a deep breath, he tried to explain, "She believes that her friend Yui may have been taken by Kutou to become Seiryuu no Miko. We think that she believed that she could persuade her not to do it if she could talk to her. Tamahome went after her, as did the new seishi I told you about."

Hotohori jumped to his feet, demanding that his horse be saddled. He wanted to go after Miaka himself. Nuriko should have expected that. In his own way, the Emperor loved Miaka as much as Tamahome did. If but for a turn of fate... Even knowing what the outcome of Hotohori-sama's demand would be, Nuriko still silently vowed that if he _did_ find some way to go after Miaka, that Nuriko would find a way to protect him -- even if he had to protect the foolish man from himself. But of course that wasn't to be. Nuriko's heart went out to the Emperor as he was brutally rebuffed by his counselors and advisors. One of them all but called him a fool in front of the entire court, "Heika-sama. Think about this. The head of another country going into Kutou uninvited? Do _you_ want to be the one to start this war?"

Nuriko's heart bled as he watched all the fire drain out of the Emperor's eyes. Hotohori's entire posture drooped as his voice took on a depressed tone, "I see... of course you are right. I don't know what came over me." He shuffled back to his throne and dropped down into its unfeeling embrace. Nuriko watched, unbelievably saddened. _Hotohori-sama... I know exactly what you were thinking. You were thinking as seishi ought... as a seishi **must**._ Watching the Emperor, Nuriko felt a surge of kinship for the other man. In his own way, Hotohori-sama was even more trapped by his rank and position than Nuriko had been by his.

The Emperor sat in his throne, unmoving and unseeing, as his advisors milled around him, snapping orders for soldiers to saddle their horses and go hunt down Suzaku no miko before she could come to harm. Once that was accomplished, Hotohori roused himself and dismissed the Court, only holding up a hand to stay Nuriko's leaving. The purple haired seishi stepped forward, ready, for once, to do whatever the Emperor might ask of him -- anything that might make the other man feel better, "Yes, heika-sama?"

Hotohori raised a weary head to meet Nuriko's earnest gaze, his own still ringed with defeat, "I thought we had this discussion, already, Nuriko. Between us, it's Hotohori, not heika-sama."

Unsure of the Emperor's mood, but not wanting to darken it further with his own usual contrariness, Nuriko simply offered him a gentle smile. It was such a small thing to give the other man, and it might mean so very much, "Of course, Hotohori-sama. My apologies. I won't forget again."

The Emperor smiled and Nuriko hurt to see it. He was trying to hard to be strong... how had Nuriko never noticed before how young he truly was? Not just in body, but in mind. The other man swallowed and looked away, speaking almost to himself, "It wasn't your fault, Nuriko. I'm sure of it. Miaka is a strong-willed girl with a mind of her own. I don't think anything you said would have deterred her, even if you'd had the chance to try."

Nuriko knew that, how well he knew that... His imouto had always been strong-willed. He nodded, "I thank you for that, Hotohori-sama, but I will carry the guilt of this just the same. Only seeing Miaka safely home will put me at ease."

Hotohori abruptly rose from the dais and descended to stand with Nuriko, "Walk with me?" Nuriko nodded mutely, following the Emperor out of the throne room. Hotohori sighed, "Tamahome will see her safely home, I'm sure. Maybe they'll even bring her friend back with them. And that new seishi that you mentioned -- Chichiri? He sounds like a formidable ally."

Nuriko heard the forced hope in Hotohori's voice and hurriedly jumped in, "I'm sure you're right, Hotohori-sama. She'll be back before you know it -- all smiles and cheeriness. It'll be fine." He forced a smile of his own onto his face. Hotohori grinned hesitantly in response. They both knew the words were a fool's dream. They both knew that Miaka was in terrible danger. However, as there was nothing either of them could do about it, they would just have to trust that it would work out well in the end. It seemed like sometimes, that was all you _could_ do. Nuriko continued, "If I may be so bold, Hotohori-sama, perhaps doing something to take your mind off of this for a little while...?"

Hotohori nodded, that false cheer fleeing from his face to be replaced by a heavy sadness. He knew, as well, what a fool's hope they were sharing, "A very practical suggestion, Nuriko." He sighed, making a face, "The Leaning Tower of State Documents on my desk could probably use some of my time..."

Making a face of his own, Nuriko laughed, "Well, if that's how you choose to spend your time, that's your business, though if you ask me, it sounds more like a punishment than a diversion!"

Slowing to a stop, Hotohori looked away, "Perhaps a punishment is appropriate. I certainly don't deserve a reward for the way I acted today... or the way I _haven't_ acted all week."

Frowning, Nuriko raised a hand to rest on the Emperor's shoulder, "Hotohori-sama... please look at me." When the other man did not even turn his head, Nuriko lifted his other hand and gently but inexorably turned it for him, "Hotohori-sama, I will say this, because you said once that you would like us to be friends and friends tell each other the truth. And I'm only going to say it to you once, so pay attention." Once the Emperor had focused on him, Nuriko said firmly, "You are **not** to apologize for today or for not being with us this past week. Neither was your fault. Firstly, there are now four seishi and there is only one Emperor of Konan and that is you. That means that your duties as Emperor, unfortunately, often have to supersede your responsibilities as a seishi. There is no help for that." When Hotohori looked like he might protest, Nuriko glared him into silence and continued, "Secondly, though your advisors obviously didn't agree, _you reacted appropriately to hearing about Miaka's disappearance._ You are a Suzaku shichi-seishi, Hotohori-sama. Emperor or not, that is who you are. And as a Suzaku seishi, your first duty, always and above anything, is to protect your miko. So, though your responsibilities as Emperor sometimes preclude you being able to _act_ on that duty, I will **not** hear you apologize for wanting to. Have I made myself clear?"

If the situation weren't so serious, Nuriko might have laughed at the completely stunned expression on the Emperor's face. He clearly wasn't used to being spoken to like that. Eventually the other man managed to find his voice, "I believe you have, Nuriko." A small smile crept across his face, "Thank you. I'll try not to forget a second time."

Nodding in satisfaction, Nuriko released him, "Good. See that you don't." Taking a step back and folding his hands into his sleeves, he said, "Now, are you going to tackle those affairs of state or would you like me to browbeat you some more?"

Holding up his hands in a warding gesture, the Emperor laughed, "I don't think I can take any more of that brand of honesty for the time being. Dealing with my work will be easier and, doubtless, less painful."

Nuriko smiled, "Well, then I will leave you to it." Bowing politely, he then left the Emperor to his tasks and started pondering what to do with himself for the rest of the day. Staying around the Palace would have him climbing the walls inside of an hour, so that really was no good. He could go riding, but honestly, with his latest trip only recently ended, he wasn't up for any hard physical activity. Eventually, and with some reluctance, he decided to venture down to Eiyo. Having given Miaka his brush -- _Kourin's_ brush -- he had forgotten to take into account that he had no other. He'd gotten by while traveling by keeping his hair braided, but that would only suffice for so long. With a weary sigh, and futilely wishing he had companionship for this ride, Nuriko borrowed a horse from the stables and set out.

* * *

A short while later, as Nuriko rode into the capital, he had cause to be grateful that Kechiko had not agreed to let him take Galaxy. Between the packed crowds around him and his own nervous state, controlling the Appaloosa stallion would have been a task beyond even his abilities. The placid chestnut that Kechiko had lent him was far more the correct speed for his roiled emotions today.

After what seemed like forever winding the horse through Eiyo's narrow streets, Nuriko finally found the booth where he had bought Kourin's brush. He was mildly surprised, yet pleased, to note that it was still there. He smiled at the young man behind the counter as he dismounted, and then spent a few minutes perusing the selection. As before, each brush was beautiful and well-crafted, no two exactly alike. He finally selected one that was similar to the one he'd chosen for Kourin all those years ago, but not so much like it that it was obvious.

The young man at the counter smiled and packaged up the brush for him as Nuriko handed him his money. His purchase completed, he thanked the man and stepped away from the counter. As he eyed the milling crowds, he began to feel somewhat overwhelmed. It had been some time since he had visited a city of this magnitude alone and he had _never_ done so dressed as a man. In spite of his feminine appearance, he found that he was being treated far differently. Used to being treated like an uncommon and fragile flower, he was often dismayed to find himself shoved and jostled about by an uncaring crowd. Was this to be what his life was like from now on? Was he to now be destined to be ordinary and unnoticed? The thoughts made him uncomfortable and his eyes wandered, almost involuntarily, to the bulk of his Sensei's temple at the edge of the capital.

Nuriko had promised that he would visit and he knew that he should... but his thoughts were in too much turmoil right now and he had no desire to sully the peace of the temple. Feeling adrift and uneasy, Nuriko found his feet moving in a different direction, almost of their own accord. He didn't realize where he was going until it was far too late. Looking up, Nuriko found himself outside his father's shop, watching Rokou go about the daily business of a young merchant tailor. His heart began to hammer in his ears and he moved to leave, hopefully before his brother could spot him. He wasn't fast enough.

Rokou dropped the cloth he was working with and left the booth, hurrying to his brother's side, "Ryuuen? It's so wonderful to see you! We'd heard that you were back, but when you didn't come... I was starting to worry." When he finally reached the indigo-haired seishi, Rokou wrapped his arms around the smaller man and pulled him into a tight embrace, "I've missed you, little brother. I'm glad to see that you're safe." When he finally released the younger man and leaned back to take in his appearance, a wide grin spread across his face, "Well, this is new..."

To his embarrassment, Nuriko couldn't stop the blush that splashed across his cheeks. Looking down at the reins in his hands, he muttered, "I've learned that it is very difficult to do my duty as a seishi when dressed as a woman. And when we were traveling, the other seishi found out my secret... and so no reason to hide it from everyone else at the palace. There seemed no further point in continuing the charade once that happened." The self-loathing was so clear in his voice that even Rokou picked up on it.

Pulling Nuriko into another tight hug, Rokou wisely moved the conversation into safer waters, "What are they like? The other seishi?"

Glad to be onto a topic that he could discuss safely, Nuriko expounded on it at great length. He was so into the conversation that he hardly noticed as Rokou began to lead him down the street and away from the booth. In fact, it wasn't until the bulk of the family home was right in front of him that he realized where his brother had led him. He froze in his tracks and flung out a hand to grab onto his brother and cease his forward momentum, "Rokou, are you insane? If I even try to set foot on the grounds, Father will kill me!"

Rokou sadly shook his head, "I don't think he would, but in any case, it isn't why I brought you here. I brought you here for Mother. When she heard that I'd seen you, she was overwrought that she hadn't had the chance to do the same. I promised her, little brother. I promised that if I saw you in this city again, I would find some way to get you to her. Please... don't make me renege on that promise. Don't make a liar of me."

That one word undid him. Nuriko mutely nodded his head and let Rokou lead him the rest of the way to the house. When they reached it, Nuriko left the horse with the stable lad and went back around to the front of the house. He was never more grateful for the wider sleeves on his altered tunic as he was at that moment, as they allowed him to hide his shaking hands. Emi had found a tailor who was willing to alter his men's clothes to have some of the features of a dress -- a longer skirt, longer and wider sleeves. He had been extremely grateful and wondered after the identity of this tailor, but Emi had refused to give him the name. He shook his head, realizing his own stalling tactics and finally convinced himself to approach the door. Before he had a chance to even raise his hand to knock, the door opened.

An old woman stood on the other side. Her dark indigo hair had faded into a storm-tossed gray. Her smooth, beautiful face had sagged into tight, permanent-looking worry lines. Regardless... he knew her anyway. Her hand shook where it rested on the door. The other rose to her mouth and her eyes filled with tears. Nuriko swallowed as a lump rose in his own throat. He could barely get his voice to work and so the word came out as a choked whisper, "'Kaasan?"

The woman let out a small gasp and threw the door open the rest of the way to enfold Nuriko in her arms. She began to sob, gasping out his name every other breath. She kissed his face, his head, his hands, then pulled back to look over every inch of his features, stroking his hair and petting his clothes. Her eyes took on a distant look and a shy smile crossed her face. She leaned in close to whisper into his ear, "I thought the gold would look good on you, Ryuuen." Then she grabbed him up into another tight hug, which he hesitantly returned. She buried her face into his shoulder, "Your brother didn't think so, but I knew I was right." At his stunned look, she hastily explained, "Ryuuen, it was the least I could do for you! But why did you wait so long to visit? You have to come in and talk with me! You'll stay a while, won't you?" She lifted her tear-streaked face to look into his eyes, "Please?"

Ryuuen had just opened his mouth to answer when he heard a door slam from further back in the house. His body gave a convulsive shudder when he recognized his father's massive frame overshadowing his mother's slight form. The look on his face was many things, but forgiving and understanding were not two of them. He held out a hand in entreaty, "Otou-sama..."

His father scowled, "No son of mine would have done what you have done. You abandoned this family in its hour of greatest need. You are not my son. You have not been my son for 10 years. I will not have you in this house."

Nuriko stared into the cold eyes of his father and almost couldn't think of a single thing to say. It was his worst nightmare come to life in stark, vibrant color. Eventually, he managed to get his voice to work, "Then you will not. I never meant to cause you shame. I have tried to make up for that which I _have_ caused you, but I understand how very much there is to make up for. It will take time."

Crossing his arms over his chest, the older man's eyes narrowed, "If you had any honor at all, it would take very _little_ time to make up for the shame you have brought this family."

Bowing his head and ignoring his mother's horrified gasp, Nuriko flinched, "That is not an option for me. I am needed for now and it would bring more dishonor on this family for me to abandon my duties now than I have brought on it in the entirety of these last 10 years." Drawing himself back up and meeting his father's eyes with a burning fire in his own, Nuriko added, "And I will allow **no one**, not even you, Father, to take me from those duties. They mean more to me than anything, including my life and my honor. But rest assured, I will not make the mistake of darkening your doorstep again."

Not even a flicker of doubt showed in his father's eyes as he turned away from the door and walked back into the house. There was not even a slight hesitation in his step as he left his youngest son and his wife standing miserable in the doorway. Nuriko's mother was crying in earnest, now. Nuriko wrapped his arms around her and tried to comfort her, "'Kaasan... Please, don't cry on my account." Getting a finger under his mother's chin, he forced her eyes up to meet his own, "I would not tell this to Father, especially not as angry as he is, but if will ease your burden, I will tell you. All else aside... I am happy. I have friends who care for me and I have a purpose in my life. Everything else I suffered to reach this point... it was all worth it. Though I have done things I regret, I don't regret where I am and what I do now. Is that enough to offset the rest?"

Rokou stepped up from where he'd been hiding behind their father, his own eyes red, "I am so sorry... I didn't really think that he would... I thought he'd be _happy_, like we were."

Nuriko found a smile somewhere for his brother, "I know you meant well, aniki. And I'm glad to have gotten the chance to see you and 'Kaasan again, at least. Since I owe you much for that chance, why don't we call it even?" He pulled his mother closer, placing a kiss on top of her head, and then gently pushing her towards Rokou.

Ignoring whatever response his brother did or did not make, Nuriko went back to the stable to fetch his horse. It wasn't until he was mounted and riding back to the Palace that the reaction set it. Filled with a blank numbness, he didn't even remember most of the ride back to the palace, returning the horse to the stables or walking to his rooms. All he knew was that somehow he had gotten back and gotten stuck at the entrance to his rooms, staring dumbly at his door as if he'd never seen it before.

Kechiko had at least had the presence of mind to call for Emi when he saw Nuriko return to the palace. When the woman reached Nuriko's rooms, she found him exactly as he'd been when he'd gotten there -- standing outside his rooms, staring at the door. She put a hand on his shoulder and softly asked him if he was all right. When no response was forthcoming, Emi took his hand into hers and rubbed it a bit, "Nuriko-san? It's Emi... Won't you please tell me what's wrong?" Still no response. Flustered, upset and running out of options, Emi released Nuriko's hand. There was only one other person at the palace that might be able to reach her friend in this state and as terrified as she was to approach him, she would do whatever it took to help Nuriko.

* * *

Hotohori looked up, startled, at the knock on his door. The pile of State Documents was smaller than it had been this morning, but a casual glance would not have revealed it. He just couldn't keep his mind on the paperwork with Miaka in danger and far more to think about than he liked. Grateful for the diversion, he called for his visitor to enter. One of the palace servants burst into the room, eyes red-rimmed and clearly distraught. Two of his advisors followed her in, apologizing for the interruption. He was about to dismiss her, but something about her face made him pause. He thought he knew this maid. He stood up from his desk and waved his advisors back. Walking over to the woman, he asked gently, "Its Emi, isn't it? Nuriko's maid?" At the woman's grateful look and nod, he smiled, "Well then, Emi, what seems to be the trouble?"

The woman dropped to her knees and pressed her forehead to the ground, trying valiantly to swallow back her tears, "I don't know what's wrong, heika-sama. Nuriko-san went into the city today and when he returned, he was not himself. I found him standing outside his room, staring at the door. He won't speak to me, he won't respond. I don't know what happened and you were the only one I could think of who might be able to help!"

Hotohori placed a gentle hand under the woman's arm and raised her back onto her feet, "I'm glad that you came to me. I don't know that I'll be able to do anything, but I will try." Again that grateful look. It was amazing, really... Miaka, Tamahome, Kechiko, Emi... himself. It seemed that Nuriko was just as good at making friends as Lady Kourin had been at making enemies. It was odd, but he was starting to understand the pull they all felt towards the deceptively fragile-looking seishi. He just hoped that the other man would let him help. This current crisis seemed to have forged a truce between them, but he knew how very far he had to go before he could truly call the other seishi a friend. There was trust to be regained, first. He could only hope that there was enough of a foundation that he would be able to do something for him right now.

Gathering his robes and taking his leave of his advisors, Hotohori walked the short distance to Nuriko's rooms. He found the other man exactly as Emi had described, just standing there, staring at his door, a blank expression on his face. Hotohori walked up to him and put a hand on the other seishi's shoulder, "Nuriko, I don't know what's going on, but you scared your maid into coming to talk to me. Won't you tell me what's wrong?"

Nuriko didn't respond. Hotohori tried another tactic, "Nuriko, its Hotohori. You told me earlier that a friend is someone who tells you the truth. The truth is... Emi isn't the only one you're scaring. Please talk to me." The shoulder under Hotohori's hand started to shake, but there was no other response. Finally, Hotohori opted for the direct approach. He opened Nuriko's door and led him into his rooms. He sat Nuriko down on his bed and closed the outer door then pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down, watching Nuriko's face. There was still no change.

Hotohori took Nuriko's hands into his and tried to rub some warmth back into them. He sighed, heavily, "What can I do to get you to talk to me?" He laughed, humorlessly, "If this is all some ploy to get my undivided attention, I have to admit that it's working."

That last finally got a response from the other seishi. Nuriko blinked, and then slowly turned his head to look at the Emperor, "Heika-sama? What are you doing here?" Looking around the room in confusion, he said, almost to himself, "How... how did I get here? The last thing I remember is getting back on my horse and leaving the capital..." His voice trailed off.

Hotohori sighed and shook his head, "I thought we'd gotten past that, Nuriko. I'm here as a friend, as a fellow seishi... Hotohori. I'd like to help, but I can't if you won't let me. What got you so upset?"

The sincerity in the Emperor's voice filled his eyes, as well. Nuriko found himself caught in them, felt himself falling all over again. This dancing on a knife's edge between friendship, love and enmity was starting to wear on him. And right now, he just didn't have the energy for it. Besides, even if he had no honor, he at least still had his pride. He _couldn't_ share this with the Emperor. He wouldn't understand... and he had witnessed enough of Nuriko's shame already. Shaking his head, he said softly, "I'm sorry, Hotohori-sama, I just can't."

Hotohori frowned as he stood, "You mean you won't." Sighing, he added, "If you won't tell your friend, your fellow seishi, will you answer your Emperor?"

Nuriko's head jerked around to meet the Emperor's gaze. Drawing himself up to his full height and gathering what remained of his dignity like a shroud, he let his disappointment flood his face, "Heika-sama, of course I will answer. If you order me, I must obey." He backed up so he wasn't blocking the Emperor's path to the door and let his posture become as submissive as when he had been part of the Emperor's harem, "However, I would remind you that it has been a very long day for me and I am very tired. If you truly wish to match wits, I will do my best... but I fear you will have a distinct advantage, tonight."

Realizing, too late, that he had gravely erred, Hotohori pulled back as though slapped. He folded his hands into his sleeves and said quietly, "Somehow, I very much doubt that, Nuriko." Letting out a heavy sigh, Hotohori tried one last time, "If you need anything... anything at all, you come find me, all right?"

Nuriko nodded, but made no other response. Once Hotohori had left, he took a deep, calming breath. The last few months had been hard on everyone -- himself and the Emperor included. Perhaps it was unfair of him to have shut the other man out like he had, but he just hadn't been up for a verbal sparring match. And if they'd tried to talk with Hotohori being so insistent as to order his compliance and Nuriko so adamant about not revealing another weakness for the Emperor to exploit, they would have ended up fighting. And more strife was not what they needed. With a sigh, Nuriko gave it up as a lost cause and went to draw his bath. A good long soak and an even longer rest would hopefully set his attitude to rights. Then he could approach the Emperor... and though it would gall him to do so, he would apologize. He would make peace between them if it killed him.

* * *

The next day as Hotohori was preparing for court, he was still mulling over the strange occurrences of the night before. That entire confrontation with Nuriko hadn't gone as he'd expected. Why was it so hard for him to understand the other man? He claimed that he was in love with Hotohori, but every time the Emperor extended a hand in friendship he was vigorously rebuffed. It was enough to drive him mad! Not that he would ever say so to the other seishi's face, but Nuriko was more like a woman than he even realized.

As he reached the throne room, the Emperor squared his shoulders and tried to shake the thoughts from his head. He would need all his wits about him for court, especially with how he'd embarrassed himself the other day. He nodded to the door servants who threw open the double doors and announced his presence. Immediately upon his entrance, the soldiers stood at attention and the courtiers began their daily bowing and scraping. Hotohori put a hand to his temple, feeling a headache coming on. There were days, many days, when he almost wished he was not the Emperor. This looked like it would be one of them. He swept his gaze around the Court, not even realizing he was looking for Nuriko until he saw that the purple-haired seishi wasn't there. He hoped he hadn't damaged their relationship irrevocably the other night. It might be selfish, but he'd discovered that court was far more tolerable with the other seishi by his side. At least Nuriko _understood_. He made his way to the throne and sat, then waved his hand at the court to indicate that they could get on with what they were doing. Life resumed its flow around him. Around him, but not including him. _I hope Miaka comes back, soon..._

A sudden noise at the outside door made him look up, then freeze in shock, his heart beating wildly in his chest. If he'd known that prayers could be answered with such speed and precision, he'd have started praying years ago! Wasting not one more second, he descended the dais and grabbed Miaka into a tight hug. The girl was shocked. He could feel it in the stillness of her body. She didn't pull away, nor did she respond in kind. Hotohori couldn't find it within himself to care. She was back and he was _not_ going to let her go. Eventually, however, she started squirming uncomfortably in his embrace and he reluctantly let her step away. She wasn't his to claim... not yet.

Miaka started talking, explaining all that had happened, including the discovery of her friend, Yui. Hotohori had to smile watching her. With her return, she'd brought a life back to him, one where he was included, not just ruling from outside. She concluded her rapid-fire report with, "...And you haven't met the fourth seishi! We found him, well he found us, but that doesn't matter. His name is Chichiri!"

Hotohori looked up at the fox-eyed man and had to wonder why the man smiled so much. It was almost eerie, the way his facial expression didn't change. When the man held up a hand and blushed a little, loudly proclaiming, "DAAA!", Hotohori felt his head once again starting to pound. Was everyone here insane except him? He was surprised to find himself actually wishing for Nuriko to get here soon. He might not always understand why, but at least he always knew where he stood with the other seishi.

Almost as if Hotohori's thoughts had brought him, Nuriko finally arrived for morning court. He looked better than he had the night before, but there were still shadows in his eyes. Hotohori couldn't help wondering, yet again, who or what had put them there. Nuriko, however, only had eyes for their miko. He ran to Miaka and grabbed her into a fierce hug -- one that she not only didn't reject, but returned with equal force. Nuriko's face was brilliant in a beaming smile that made even Hotohori's heart beat a little harder. The Emperor felt his face heat as that look turned away. He was honest enough with himself to acknowledge that if Lady Kourin had once smiled at him that way... But she hadn't. And that really was all for the best, because Lady Kourin was Nuriko... and even if he'd wanted it to, it would never have worked. Feeling resigned in more ways than one, he turned away from the reunion taking place in front of him, suddenly not in the mood to witness anyone else's innocent joy.

* * *

Nuriko grabbed Miaka into a hug, holding on as tightly as he could, _I am never letting you out of my sight again, little sister. Never again. Do you hear me? I can't lose you a second time._ So intense was his relief that it felt like his heart would beat itself right out of his chest. Miaka was laughing as she hugged him, nowhere near as stiff as she'd been with the Emperor. Nuriko had been hanging around the door and watching them, but hadn't had the heart to interfere. He hadn't wanted to give the Emperor a chance to mention what had happened yesterday. He needn't have worried. As always where Miaka was concerned, Hotohori had eyes and thoughts for no one else.

Miaka abruptly stepped back and offered him a brilliant smile, "Nuriko, you're still being gay!"

His heart skipped a beat and he felt like he'd been sucker punched. It was too soon, _far_ too soon for that kind of teasing. But he couldn't let her know that. He couldnt let Miaka think that she'd hurt him... not for anything. And so he fell back on his natural defense: joking. "Miaka, you're still being stupid!"

She laughed, reading it for the lame attempt at a joke that it was, and wrapped her arms around him, letting him lead her out of the throne room. Nuriko dragged her back towards his rooms, eager to spend some quality time with her.

* * *

With Miaka and Nuriko gone, the other three seishi sized each other up. Hotohori could feel the rise in power from Tamahome's chi -- he'd gotten stronger since they'd last seen each other. And this new seishi, Chichiri, had the strongest and most well-controlled chi of them all. He also looked older than they three. He would be a powerful ally.

Tamahome, for his part, was trying to keep his anger under control. He'd only just barely gotten Miaka back when Nuriko had swooped in and stolen her away. And that seemed to happen with alarming frequency. It made him doubt, in spite of Nuriko's reassurances, that the relationship between he and Miaka was totally innocent. It was pretty clear to Tamahome that the other seishi loved Miaka -- and who could blame him? After all, who wouldn't love Miaka? Well, at least Chichiri didn't seem to have any romantic leanings towards their miko. Tamahome would have his hands full competing with the attentions of Nuriko and the Emperor.

Chichiri watched the Miko leave with Nuriko, confused at all the undercurrents of emotion in the room. Chichiri turned his attention to the other two seishi -- the Emperor and the other one that he'd already met: Hotohori and Tamahome. The two were staring each other down like wolves preparing to fight over a piece of meat. He nearly shuddered at the waves of anger coming off the other two. Finally deciding that he couldn't take it anymore, Chichiri spoke up, "Excuse me... Is everything all right between you two, no da?"

Both of the other seishi jerked their heads in his direction, quickly assuming equally innocent expressions. Tamahome then snorted and turned his head away. Hotohori was somewhat more polite -- he changed the subject, "Everything is fine, Chichiri-san. It isn't something you need to concern yourself with." He then motioned one of the men around the dais forward, "I'll have one of the servants show you to a room. As a Suzaku Seishi, you are entitled to rooms in Konan's Palace, for use whenever you need them."

Chichiri recognized the evasion for what it was but bowed anyway. The seishi should not be indulging in petty rivalries of any sort with their enemy gathering forces against them, but clearly this was not the time or the place to be discussing it. The Emperor was quite right about that. So, instead he thanked the Emperor for his hospitality and allowed the young servant to lead him out of the throne room. But that didn't stop him from throwing a worried glance at the two younger seishi as he went. _Once I have a better idea for the cause of this tension, I'll have to talk to them, no da. It's too dangerous for us to be divided like this..._

They came to a stop outside a set of double doors and the servant opened them and waved him in. He stepped inside and for just a moment, couldn't help but stare at the opulent surroundings. A wandering monk never had much in the way of possessions and these quarters were truly palatial, especially compared to what he was used to. Even his rooms at Mt. Taikyoku hadn't been so nice.

After a moment, he remembered the poor man waiting at the door, thanked him and told him he could go on about his duties. Then with a wondering smile, Chichiri allowed himself to spend some time exploring his new home. There were apparently advantages to the Emperor being one of the seishi. He started his exploration with the bathing chamber, a true luxury and bigger than most rooms that he'd lived in. The bed was large enough for three or four people to sleep in and there was a whole separate room just for entertaining guests. It was more luxury than he'd ever seen in one place, ever... and it was all for him. Just because he was a Suzaku seishi. The peasant boy buried deep inside the cheerful monk was almost ready to faint from the honor bestowed on him so casually. Fortunately, he had responsibilities -- the first of which was to find out exactly what was going on between the other three seishi and see if he couldn't do anything to ease the tension.

Finally determined on a course of action, Chichiri walked out of his room... and was nearly bowled over by his ever-exuberant miko. He was so startled that he squeaked and hid under his kasa, "Suzaku no Miko! Be a little more careful, no da!"

Miaka's eyes widened and she bowed in profuse apology, "Chichiri, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there! I was looking for Tamahome..."

Chichiri uncovered his head and reached out to pat Miaka on the shoulder, "It's all right, Miaka-san. There was no harm done. As for Tamahome-kun, the last time I saw him, he was with Hotohori in the throne room."

Miaka smiled and yelled, "Thank you!" She then took off at breakneck speed for the throne room. Chichiri, who had opened his mouth to say something else, just closed it and shook his head.

An amused chuckle sounded from behind Chichiri. When he turned around it was to find Nuriko standing behind him and gently smiling. He voice was full of affection when spoke, "Don't mind her, Chichiri-san. You'll get used to Miaka's ways after a while. She has Tama-chan on the brain."

Chichiri smiled, "I could see that... Nuriko, isn't it?"

Nuriko stepped closer and folded his arms into his sleeves, "Yes, Chichiri-san." He then hesitated. Finally, he asked, "If I may be so bold, Chichiri-san, you have the look of one who has questions he would like answered."

It was amazing -- Nuriko was so different here at the palace than he had been in Tamahome's village. Every movement, every turn of phrase was graceful, almost delicate. It was easy to see how he had been able to masquerade as a woman all these years. Offering the younger man a grateful smile, Chichiri nodded and began to walk as he gathered his thoughts. Nuriko fell into step next to him. After a few moments, Chichiri spoke, "Nuriko, I noticed that there is some heavy tension between our fellow seishi. That... well, it's not good, no da. If an enemy attacks, we can't afford to be divided. Do you know what caused the situation?"

The purple haired seishi let out a heavy sigh. Apparently, this was not an unknown problem. He was silent for a moment before speaking, "Tamahome and Hotohori-sama are both in love with the same woman, Chichiri-san. The girl is in love with Tama-chan... but the Emperor has loved her all his life. He isn't going to give up a chance to have her without a fight. And you are right... it causes unnecessary tension."

Chichiri frowned under his mask, "You are speaking of Suzaku no Miko."

Nuriko nodded, "You are very observant, Chichiri-san. Miaka doesn't want to hurt Hotohori-sama, but she can not love him. It is hard on all three of them."

In spite of the gravity of the situation, the older seishi's curiosity was getting the better of him, "And how do you fit into all of this, no da?" He was surprised and dismayed when Nuriko's face flushed, "You are in love with Miaka-san, as well, no da?"

As they reached the lake, Nuriko turned his head away to stare out across the gently rippling water, then slowly folded his legs to sit on a nearby boulder, "I suppose that you could say that I am, Chichiri-san, though not the way you mean it. I love Miaka as one would love a little sister, and I can not bear to see her being hurt by this. Love is a precious gift. It should not bring pain... though it seems to do that all too often."

Chichiri sat down next to him and rested his staff on the boulder, "The relationship you have with her is strange, no da. I can feel the tie between you and it is stronger than most I have seen, stronger even those between blood relatives. In many ways, it is even stronger than the bond that she shares with any of the rest of us."

Nuriko's face flushed a second time, though the corners of his mouth lifted in a bitter smile, "Bonds between blood aren't all that strong, Chichiri-san. Believe me when I say that."

Chichiri leaned forwards, resting his elbows on his knees, "Tell me about it?"

Nuriko shook his head, sadly, "No. It is too personal and too recent a pain. Maybe someday... but not today."

The two sat in silence for a while longer, just enjoying the sunset over the lake. When Nuriko eventually spoke, his voice was quiet and hesitant, "Chichiri-san?" Chichiri turned towards him and motioned for him to continue, "You've been around longer than we have and you've seen a lot of the world. Tell me -- does it ever get any easier?"

Chichiri sat up, folding his arms across his chest, "I am not certain I understand what you are asking, no da."

Nuriko placed his arms behind him and leaned back on the boulder to look up into the darkening sky. His voice was subdued as he spoke, "Life, Chichiri-san. Does it ever get any easier? Sometimes, too often, the few joyful moments are drowned out by its many sadnesses. Does the balance ever shift the other way?"

Chichiri stood up slowly, removing his mask. He stared out over the lake, his mind's eyes interposing a vision of a soft pair of beautiful eyes, shadowed in anguish. He rubbed a finger over the scar on his face before replacing his mask, "I wish I could tell you differently, Nuriko-san, but in my experience of it... no. It does not." When the younger seishi had no immediate response to that, Chichiri replaced his mask and said quietly, "I thank you for answering my questions and I'm sorry I couldn't give you a better answer to yours, Nuriko-san." Then bowing politely, he took his leave of the other seishi and went back to his rooms to contemplate their problems in solitude.

Nuriko sat by the lake for a while longer, thinking hard about the strange paths that his life had taken over the years. Even though he'd known that he would never fit into the life his parents had originally wanted for him, on some level, he'd thought that they might welcome him back... that they might be glad to at least find out that he was still alive. But his father...

Nuriko leaned back so that he was lying on the boulder, staring up at the emerging stars. He should have expected his father's reaction. He really should have. But he'd walked right into it like a fox just asking to be skinned. The worst part was that some small part of him agreed with his father and felt that the reaction he'd gotten was deserved. He _was_ unclean... was perverted in some way. He knew that about himself, even if the others didn't. And he _wanted_ to change... he just couldn't seem to _do_ it. He was almost sorry that he hadn't taken Chichiri up on his offer to talk. It was easier, talking to the older man. Maybe it was because he didn't know him that well yet. Maybe it was because Nuriko was almost certain that the other seishi would understand... and wouldn't judge.

Regardless, something about Chichiri made Nuriko hesitant to dump his problems on him. It seemed the man had enough scars of his own, for though he wore a smiling face at all times and was ever-cheerful like Miaka, Nuriko got the impression that it was mostly for show. Of all people, he understood how such a thing could occur. If you care so deeply for other people that you don't want them to see your own pain, you start to hide it. Then, before you know it, you're wearing a jester's mask at all times to keep them from seeing how deeply you're hurt. Oh yes, Nuriko understood that all too well. And he was reluctant to pile any more problems on top of that hidden anguish.

Really, though... he needed to talk to someone. He needed to get this soul-poison out of himself before it destroyed everything he touched. And there was only one being in this entire palace that he could think of who would not only listen to what he had to say and not judge, but also wouldn't be over-burdened by the knowledge. Nuriko rolled over onto his side, and then stood up, stretching. Galaxy might not be the most active of conversationalists, but he could surely listen.

* * *

Nuriko growled as he sat up, angrily rubbing his eyes. This being awoken so soon after finally falling into a troubled sleep was getting old. Once his thoughts focused, he realized what it was that had awoken him -- there were people yelling and screaming out in the hall. He rolled out of bed and pushed his full mane of hair back from his face. He tightened the sash of his short robe so that it was firmly closed over his chest and desperately tried to rub the sleep from his eyes as he made his way out into the hallway. Where was the noise coming from? Oh, Sweet Suzaku, no! It was coming from Miaka's room. Not wasting another second on thinking, Nuriko broke into a run.

He reached Miaka's room just in time to see an assassin run out of it. He paused just long enough to see that Miaka was all right, and then ran after the assassin. _This_ one wasn't getting away without giving them some damned answers! When he saw that he wasn't going to catch up, he gathered his chi and broke off a piece of the stone railing. He raised it over his head and hurled it towards the assassin, hoping to knock him out before he made it over the wall. Unfortunately for the wall, and Nuriko's temper, the assassin made it over and the stone railing made a rather large dent in it.

Nuriko blushed, embarrassed and full of frustrated fury. Hearing footsteps behind him, he cursed to himself and said, "Oh, how awful! He broke the wall!"

A hand whacked into his head and Tamahome's irritated voice came from above him, "It was you, wasn't it?" Nuriko's blush deepened as he sheepishly nodded. Tamahome smiled at him and patted his shoulder, "I'm sure Hotohori-sama will forgive you."

The two walked back to Miaka's room to find out what had happened. Apparently, the Seiryuu seishi were upping the stakes. They wanted to hold Tamahome hostage in return for their not burning any more villages. Seeing the horrified look on Tamahome's face made Nuriko remember the four children that made up most of the younger seishi's family. They'd be defenseless if their village was attacked. Obviously, Tamahome and Miaka were thinking the same thing. Miaka grabbed onto Tamahome's arm and begged him not to go, "We'll find another way! Tamahome, please!" Clearly reluctant, Tamahome allowed himself to be swayed by Miaka's desperation.

As everyone else was leaving Tamahome and Miaka to their rest, Nuriko tried to catch the younger man's eyes. He might have seemed convinced, but somehow, Nuriko just wasn't sure. He could see it in the younger boy's face. He was going to try something even more stupid than normal and, if Nuriko didn't miss his guess, he would be left with a heartbroken younger sister on his hands. He finally managed to catch Tamahome's gaze and the guilt hidden within its depths convinced Nuriko that he'd been right. He shook his head slightly and Tamahome paled and looked away. _Damn it! There are times that I hate being right._ Tamahome's expression made it clear what his intentions were. Miaka was important, but ties of blood called him even stronger than her siren song. The worst part of it was... he understood. If there positions had been reversed and it had been Miaka in danger, there would have been no limit to the danger Nuriko would have willingly placed himself in to keep her safe. It was just unfortunate that Tamahome's feelings of responsibility to his family were forcing Nuriko into an equally untenable position.

Cursing the unfairness of it all, he caught the younger boy's eye again and nodded once. He didn't like it... but he wouldn't interfere. Tamahome gave him a small, gratified smile. Fortunately, Miaka had missed the entire exchange. Thank goodness... She'd be hurt enough come tomorrow morning without knowing that Nuriko had been aware of what was going to happen... and had done nothing to stop it. He headed back to his room, already dreading the events that would unfold come daybreak.

* * *

Nuriko rubbed at his eyes, as he slowly pulled himself out of the soft blankets of his bed. This was the second time in eight hours that Miaka's screaming had awakened him out of a sound sleep. This time, thought, he was only saddened by the thought... especially as, this time; he knew why she was screaming. He didn't even bother pulling his hair out of his face as he scrambled out of bed this time. He just got out into the hallways as quickly as he could, trusting his instincts to guide him to his distraught imouto. It didn't take much to find her. She was running straight at him, tears streaming down her face. Nuriko could feel his heart break watching her. Feeling a regret just as useless as any other join the pile he was accumulating, he threw open his arms.

Miaka ran straight into them, anguish reverberating down their bond and making him want to join her in her tears as she wailed out his name, "Nuriko!!"

He held her tightly, trying to provide a pillar of strength for her since Tamahome wasn't there to do it. He kissed her hair and rocked her slowly back and forth, lightly rubbing her back as he did so, "Sh... Calm down, Miaka-chan. I'm here... What's the matter?" He cursed quietly to himself for his words. _You know damned well what's wrong. Just tell her you know and get it over with. What's the difference if one more person in your life hates you anyway?_ Pushing aside the angry thoughts, he forced his concentration back on the sobbing girl in his arms.

Miaka continued to press her face into Nuriko's chest, mumbling out something incoherent as she did so. Hearing footsteps, Nuriko looked up to find the Emperor tossing a jealous look his way. He rolled his eyes heavenward in a prayer for patience, and then buried his head in Miaka's hair. This day was shaping up to be just as bad as the ones before it had been. When Hotohori-sama reached out a hand to touch Miaka's shoulder, she transferred her choke-hold to the Emperor. Nuriko couldn't help but feel his own stab of jealousy at that, but pushed it away. He was partly responsible for this... he deserved a little pain of his own as a result.

* * *

Hotohori cradled Miaka in his arms, trying to figure out what was the matter. Finally, he pushed her back slightly so that he could peer into her face, "Where's Tamahome, Miaka?" More tears filled her eyes and she held up a piece of paper, "I don't know! When I woke up this morning, he was gone. But I found this notebook -- it was open and it has writing on it, but, I can't read the characters of your world so I don't know what it says!"

Wordlessly, Hotohori took the paper from her and read it aloud, watching her face drop as he did. When he got to the bottom of the page, however, and read the words written in a firm and determined hand, he balked. What did the words say? They said, "Ai shiteru." He couldn't read that. If he was to have any chance whatsoever of winning Miaka's heart, she couldn't know that Tamahome loved her. No one should have to read another man's "I love you" written to the object of their own affections. Maybe it was petty. Maybe it was selfish. In that moment, seeing the effects of Tamahome's own selfishness reflected in Miaka's tears, he couldnt bring himself to give a damn.

The look on Miaka's face was a study in horror. She was opening and closing her mouth, but no words were escaping. Hotohori started to feel a pang of guilt for his silence... perhaps if he told her; it would make it easier to bear? No... he couldnt. He just couldn't. Fortunately, Nuriko stepped in. He gathered Miaka back into his arms, rubbing her arms and back and gently kissing her forehead. In spite of his gratitude a moment before, Hotohori felt a surge of jealousy as he watched her relax in the other seishi's arms. He shouldn't be jealous, not of Nuriko, not when he _knew_ the other seishi's romantic interests lay very firmly elsewhere. He should just be grateful that the other man was able to help Miaka when he could not. _Damn_ it. He turned away from that tender scene and returned to his throne room, trying to quash the very conflicted feelings warring in his heart.

An hour later any fleeting feeling of hope was long gone, replaced by some horror of his own, "You want to what?"

Miaka had the nerve to feed him a huge smile, "Nuriko, Chichiri, and I would like to go look for the rest of the seishi. You remember what Tamahome wrote in his letter -- once I've gathered the other seishi, he'll come back!" The look in her eyes was so hopeful, that he couldn't bear to refuse her this. Especially not when it had been he who requested that she find the other seishi in the first place. Especially not when he _needed_ her to find the other three seishi. But he didn't want to let her go when he'd only just gotten her back!

He couldn't stop himself from throwing out one last obstacle, "But the clues for finding the seishi were in the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho that was left in Kutou..." When her face fell, he immediately regretted it, "I didn't mean to accuse you, Miaka... I'm sorry." He swallowed the lump in his throat and slowly nodded his head, resigning himself to being left alone, "Well, then I wish you all luck. I wish I could go with you."

Finally having gotten the answer she wanted, Miaka just bestowed another brilliant smile on him then turned to the other seishi and said, "Let's go!"

* * *

Nuriko carefully watched the road ahead of them. Nothing was going to hurt his imouto this time -- not if he had anything to say about it. And he would make damned sure that he had _plenty_ to say about it. Her overly-cheerful words brought him such a measure of joy. Really, losing the rest of his family was a small price to pay to have her back. He cast a brief glance back at her as she gasped, "Oi, Miaka-chan, what's wrong?"

She held the mirror up, "The sign for Mountain... It's showing on Taiitsu-kun's mirror..."

Nuriko frowned, "Mt. Leikaku is straight ahead... but the whole area is infested with bandits." In spite of his words, however, his heart gave a stupid little lurch. Mt. Leikaku's bandits... Genrou would be there. He hadn't thought about the other man in quite some time and it was a distraction of the worst order that he was thinking about him now. He forcibly yanked his mind back to Miaka's words. His own perverted thoughts aside, he was _not_ taking his miko into bandit territory without a _damned_ good reason!

Miaka grinned and patted his back, "We have Chichiri-san with us! He'll take care of those bandits!" She then turned around to consult the older seishi only to discover that he was no longer there, "Ah! Nuriko, Chichiri's gone! _Now_ how will we get past the bandits?"

Nuriko, still deep in thought about the bandits, almost didn't hear her. When her words finally penetrated, he almost jerked the horse to a stop, "What?? Well where the hell is he, then?"

Miaka shrugged, looking anything but nonchalant as she answered, "I just turned around and he wasn't there. What do we do? We can't go to the mountain alone..."

Frowning in response, Nuriko answered, "Well, Chichiri can take care of himself, I'm sure, but you're right. It's a bad idea to go into those mountains alone, especially not without a plan... but if the mirror says that's where we have to go, then that's where we have to go. Why don't we stop at the Inn over there and get lunch. If Chichiri just fell behind, he'll catch up to us there. If not... we'll just have to put together some sort of plan." Inwardly, he winced. Chichiri would not be catching up. Nuriko couldn't feel his chi anywhere. _Damn it! I thought we could rely on you, Chichiri-san. We don't need this, now..._

Fortunately, Miaka perked up, as usual, at the mention of food, "All right! Let's go!"

In spite of his worries, Nuriko laughed and kicked the horse into a canter, saying below his breath, "Wo ai ni, Miaka-chan..."

Miaka was so tuned towards the thought of lunch, that she almost missed Nuriko's response to her enthusiastic comments. It took her a moment to puzzle out what he'd said, but puzzle it out, she did. Then she almost fell off the horse in shock. _Wo ai ni? That... he told me what that meant. It means 'I love you!' Why would he say that to me?_ She stared hard at the red-clad boy in front of her and shook her head, _I have enough trouble with two boys in love with me, I don't think I can handle a third!_ She buried her now heated face into Nuriko's partially unbound hair, _And isn't he gay? Maybe that's why he called me stupid, before. Oh, I can't deal with this! Maybe if I just pretend I didn't hear, it'll go away..._

* * *

Nuriko felt Miaka bury her face in his hair and smiled, "Miaka-chan, we're here -- why don't we go inside and get something to eat?"

Miaka immediately lifted her head up and slid off the horse, "Yeah!"

Nuriko laughed as he dismounted and tied the horse up outside the door. His next glimpse of Miaka's face caused his smile to turn into a frown, _Why is she blushing? Was it something I said...? Oh no. She couldn't have heard me say..._ His own face started to heat up and he hurried past Miaka to open the door to the inn, _Oh, I hope not. She's confused enough as it is... Stupid, Nuriko... very stupid._

They sat down at a table in the center of the inn and ordered their food. Nuriko couldn't help but grin at the sheer amount that Miaka ordered, but when she began to babble on about Chichiri missing all the food, he knew something was up. He caught one of her hands, "You don't have to pretend with me, you know."

Miaka blushed and pulled her hand out of his grasp. Nuriko wasn't used to this -- Miaka being uncomfortable around him. He scowled, "I know you're upset about Tamahome. It's OK to not be cheerful all the time, you know..."

She just giggled and waved her hand at him, "No, Nuriko, it's fine, really..."

Nuriko growled and stood up, slamming his hands down on the table... and through it. His face turned beet red as he stammered something about the wood being rotten. He hid his face in his hands as they moved to another table, _I don't believe that I did that..._ The waiter walked over and paled at the sight of the other table. He hurriedly put the food down and rushed away. Nuriko turned back to Miaka who was busy going starry-eyed over her food. He smiled as she began to eat and did a quick survey of the room. Those men in the corner look awfully suspicious... and they were laughing as they watched Miaka eat.

Something clicked in Nuriko's mind and he yelled, "Miaka! Don't eat the food!" He then stared in horror at the carnage on the table, "You idiot! You ate mine, too!" When Miaka's face paled and she dropped the chopsticks, Nuriko's heart nearly stopped. She collapsed off the bench onto the floor, clutching her stomach. Nuriko threw himself down next to her, screaming her name in frantic worry, "Miaka!" Unfortunately, the men didn't give him a chance to find out what was wrong as they attacked without mercy.

Anger gave fuel to Nuriko's power as his seishi symbol blazed forth, "You bastards! What have you done?" He broke the sword of the one attacking him and kicked him across the room. Heart in his throat, he turned to take care of the one who was bearing down on Miaka, but there was no way he would make it in time. Still desperately hoping that he would, he threw himself across the room. Not even realizing what he was saying, he screamed, "KOURIN!!!"

He heard a sick crunching sound somewhere above him. The attacker fell to the side, a bloody hole in his chest. Nuriko's eyes almost filled with tears of joy when the man's body dropped and revealed Hotohori's form standing behind him, sword raised. The Emperor lowered his sword and rushed over to Miaka's other side. Nuriko prayed that neither one of them had heard his scream. Hotohori frantically asked, "Is she all right, Nuriko?"

Nuriko's hands hovered protectively around Miaka's still form, "I don't know. I'm all right, because I didn't eat... but Miaka did."

Miaka finally raised dazed eyes to her two seishi. For a moment, she didn't speak, and then she offered Nuriko a harassed smile, "No, I just ate too fast and the food got caught in my throat. Nuriko... could I have some water?"

Completely subsumed by a rush of relief, Nuriko promptly smacked her on the head. "You idiot! Don't scare me like that!"

* * *

When they next headed out, despite Nuriko's protests, Miaka was tucked in front of Hotohori on his horse. It felt wrong, somehow, to ride without Miaka's comforting warmth at his back. He picked his eyes up from where they'd been fastened on his horse's ears. He just caught Miaka's eyes before she blushed and turned her face away. Nuriko swallowed hard and turned his attention back to the road. Damn... she must have heard what he'd said before. That was the only thing that could explain her sudden discomfort around him. He'd have to find some way to fix that.

Once they'd traveled a few hours into bandit territory, Hotohori called a halt so they could get some water. Nuriko led the horses to a place where they could graze for a while, then turned back to where he'd left Hotohori and Miaka. Overhearing them having a conversation, Nuriko ducked down and crouched behind a tree wondering what was going on.

Hotohori was holding up the note from Tamahome and finally telling her what the younger seishi had written on the bottom -- Ai shiteru. I love you. His voice sounded like it was broken as he said those words... "He went into Kutou for his family, and his love, Miaka. You." Nuriko couldn't help but feel a surge of pride for the Emperor when he admitted that. It took courage for a man to say something like that, especially when he was so desperately in love with the girl himself.

Miaka's voice was full of tears when she responded, "I know that. I do. I love him, too. I miss him..."

Nuriko's instincts were screaming at him to go to Miaka, but he stayed were he was and let Hotohori comfort her. The Emperor continued speaking, "You love him, and he loves you, but... I love you too, Miaka." Nuriko nearly jumped from his hiding place at the Emperor's next actions. He leaned in to kiss Miaka.

At the last second, Miaka pulled away and yelled, "Don't!"

Hotohori stared at her, not moving, voice full of the pain of broken dreams, "Do you love him that much?"

Miaka made no response. Nuriko put a hand to his heart to stop it from pounding. On the one hand, he truly didn't want either of the two in front of him to be hurt. On the other, though, if Hotohori finally came to understand that Miaka would never love him... that might open the door for Nuriko to have a chance. It was a foolish hope, perhaps even a vain one, but he couldn't stop himself from hoping it, nonetheless.

And then the last thing he was expecting to hear resounded across his ears. Miaka screamed. Nuriko bolted to his feet and ran towards them, "Hotohori-sama! Miaka!" Before he was even halfway there, something hard and heavy slammed into his back, knocking him to the ground. He moaned in pain and just managed to catch sight of five laughing figures standing over him. All he could think before he blacked out was, "Deja vu..."

* * *

**A/N:**

O_O Too tired for chibi silliness. Maybe next part.


End file.
